Picnic In The Sahara

They say that when you eat food cooked by the desert, before your eyes, your body and mind acclimate to the severities of this world. Everything becomes easy afterward. Hard things become easy and complicated things; simple.

The annual Sahara desert picnic will occur on August 7th. Please arrive by 11 am so that we can be mid-feast during the hottest part of the day.

As always, the rules are as follows: Raw food only. The Sahara Picnic club has arranged to eat in a location that is sufficiently hot to cook food in the open air. The club will gather together and chat until all food is cooked by the sun, and then they will feast. Those able will leave the wretched desert promptly after the closing ceremony, which involves tying a rubber band between one’s nipples and their tongue, and reciting the final page of Jack Karoak’s On The Road as quickly as possible while staring at the sun.

Please arrive on time and with your waiver signed. Camel parking is available, as well as a small temporary airport and helicopter landing pad. The club does not provide water or vitals of any kind. There is only one free offering, boiling wine that evaporates if you shake it. Which can be inhaled through one’s nose with only a small amount of pain.

Come one, come all. Experience the Sahara Picnic Club, from which so many before you have emerged into greatness, Tom Cruise, Tom Brady, Karl Marx, and Paul Erdos. So many greats have eaten the taste of the Sahara. You can too.

Membership fees are $52 per annum.

For more articles by Dernberger Spengleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email spengleton@surrealtimes.net.


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