Public Notice: Bones Will Be Distributed Evenly

It has come to my attention that rich people are buying up all the good bones and leaving the frail ones for the poor. This is not ok. It causes inequality and safety issues in certain jobs that require hard labor. I mean, what do the wealthy need bones for anyway? They just sit at desks all day. It’s the blue collar folks who need the bones.

From this point on, to ensure the equality and safety of the public, the police will be taking control of post-covid bone redistribution nationwide. We will do it fairly, and we will do it effectively.

Please contact 911 for information regarding bone redistribution.

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