Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered
What is science but a safety blanket that keeps you from feeling small as you sit wrapped up in it? It is with complete intellectual insecurity that I announce the pupil stage of the infamous Noise Moth has been discovered!
If you find yourself in the backyard shrubbery of suburban Hadley, you may hear a faint harmonious noise. If you were a child, perhaps you would think it a band of fairies playing about and singing their songs in the morning haze. But those grown out of such foolish fancies, with a more skeptical eye, who looks closely through the bristle, will see a marvelous sight.
Small little white caterpillars, in the shape of crescent moons, can be seen bouncing up and down on their silk threads, plucking them like Darwinian cellos, playing beautiful music from their own threads.
If captured and observed in laboratory conditions, a truly sad end can be found for the caterpillars’ songs. For once they emerge from their humming chrysalises s fully formed Noise Moths, you'll see them flutter about flying in hasty, scratchy patterns, as if searching for something.
Soon after they mangle on for a bit, they'll simply land and slump their wings down, sadly realizing that they can no longer craft silk, and as such no longer make music. It does not take a far stretch of purified reason, to realize that with this massive void, this cloud of emptiness, the next stage of a Noise Moth's life cycle is one of bittered anger.
In this mood, they rise from their slump, flying out in ferocious hordes searching out any noise they might find. Once they find a source of noise, they swarm towards it in a full frenzy, sometimes so excited they tragically chew through bystander’s vocal cords. They live roaming on hardened hopes that perhaps they will find sound as sweet as the memory of their distant childhood songs. But beware if you see them coming, whether they mean well or not, their nostalgia will devour you.
The Amherst College Philosophy Department wishes healing and love to all the victims of the noise moth plague, you are forever in our ponderences.
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