FOR IMMEDIATE DISPATCH TO ALL READERS:
IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT THE THROES OF WINTER HAVE NEGATIVELY IMPACTED THE MORALE OF MANY OF YOU -STOP- AS SUCH WE HAVE DECIDED TO PRINT A SET OF TASKS FOR YOU TO COMPLETE BEFORE NEXT ISSUE (WHERE MORE TASKS WILL BE ISSUED) -STOP- THESE TEN TASKS WILL BE YOUR MARCHING ORDERS IN THE REBELLION AGAINST MUNDANITY -STOP- WE TRUST THAT THEY WILL BRING YOU LIGHT AND GLEE IN THE COLD AND DARK -STOP-
THE SURREAL TIMES
- 1: Leave a glass eye in a wishing fountain.
- 2: In the park in the depth of a February night, decorate a Christmas tree.
- 3: Treat everywhere you walk like a museum.
React as such.
- 4: Memorize three poems.
- 5: Remove all the dust jackets on your hardcover books and replace them upside down.
- 6: Wear hawaiian shirts in winter time.
- 7: Identify three simple lines on your commute and commemorate them somehow.
- 8: Make and maintain a shrine for the week and then burn everything that was involved.
- 9: Make a list of ten things you would do as an eccentric rich person, do as many as you can.
- 10: Give away a dozen white roses, one at a time. If questioned why, make up a new story for each one.
CUT THESE ORDERS OUT AND FULFILL THEM.
FIND FRIENDS IN SURREALITY.
LOVE VICIOUSLY AND WITHOUT FAIL.
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