The Mad Cartographer Threatens our City

Remove Him!

George S. Halfly,
Times Correspondent

I am sure I don’t need to update any civically minded Amherst residents about the situation, but I will. The Mad Cartographer, Richard R. Mohamed, has invaded Amherst to spread his nonsense. He says that we are limited by the four directions, that they are a prison, and that there are in fact more directions - nonsense! Look at all the four directions have done for us. We have sailed the seas, surveyed the stars, measured and counted the mountains. He calls them a prison. I call them necessary!

He spreads lies about the abstract directions. East-West, West-East-South, and of course, East-East. These blubbering lies should be discounted immediately.

We must think of our youth! Soon they will be walking in strange directions, following the West-East star... Demand action. Silence the Mad Cartogropher.

For more articles by George S. Halfly, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email halfly.george@surrealtimes.net.

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