Advertisement: The Finch Inc. Homing Lobster

Finney Finch,
Finch Inc

Note from the editors: The following is a paid advertisement by Finch Inc. The views expressed here are indicative of said organization, and not Surreal Times Boston or its writers.

They say that secure communication is getting harder and harder. Two-way encryption, VPNs, text messages. Nothing seems to be totally secure anymore. It won’t be long until they can rip the communications right out of the air.

That’s where the Finch Inc. Homing Lobster comes in. Let our Homing Lobsters carry written messages to you and your correspondent. Each Homing Lobster is capable of securely scuttling across Boston with a message as large as the paperback run of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Homing Lobsters are not the fastest method of communication, but they are tenacious. Our lobsters are trained to fight to the death if anyone attempts to read or steal their message.

Why let others read what you say to your friends, family, and co-conspirators? Invest in a Finch. Inc. Homing Lobster today. Communicate securely and with style: buy a Homing Lobster!

For more articles by Finney Finch, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email


See Also

Want to read more news? Click here for a random article.