Cheap Storage in The Sky

Tommy Potentuary,
Television Personality

Hey everyone! It’s Tommy P. Potent, back again to advertise the latest and tastiest apples to your eyes!

Everyone’s talking about personal storage nowadays! In the past, you’ve had a couple options -- both bad. You could put your things in your mom’s garage. But… if you do that, then your stuff might get “organized” or sold without any warning at all. Otherwise, you’ve gotta rent a storage locker, and that’s going to drain your bank account. That’s gonna drain your gas tank. That’s going to stress you out.

Good news! As of last month, the personal storage problem has been solved. Sam Le’tratte, (now ex) employee of tech giant a****n.com quit his engineering job. In his letter of resignation, he claimed the company possessed technology that could save people tons of money, but that the company refused to unveil it because of corporate greed. Yikes. This individual, Sam Le’tratte, used copies of the company’s blueprints, plus funding from TST Ventures, to manufacture a giant expandable blimp. This blimp floats on the edge of our atmosphere and is capable of storing tons of stuff!

Sam said to me, “It floats on the top of the atmosphere like a ball in water, and it expands to make room for whatever we put in it, like a big balloon.” How awesome is that!

When asked how it works, he said, “that’s a secret, silly! But it’s super cheap!”

Le’tratte Storage LLC can be reached by piling your junk on your front yard and waving a purple flag. A convoy of drones will promptly retrieve your things and deliver them to the blimp.

You can retrieve your belongings any time by waving a purple flag next to an ‘X’ mark on the ground.

The cost is 0.000001 bitcoins per month, regardless of how many items you store. Amazing!

For more articles by Tommy Potentuary, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email tommy.potent@surrealtimes.net.

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