Obituary: Dingus Hullentail

The Hullentail Family,

He was growing his plants in the greenhouse he had lived in his entire life. He would routinely stay inside 24/7 because he had all he needed there. Food. Warmth. All of that. He also was afraid that if he left, his plants would stop growing.

The plants were all he needed. He continued to knit them all tiny sweaters to protect them from the cold. It was still quite chilly in the greenhouse. Maybe they could use mittens for their leaves, too.

Unfortunately, due to his location — somewhere in the vast Atlantic Ocean — the cost of shipping was incredibly high. Thus, Dingus was unable to afford any yarn or wool or anything like that. Dingus was sure that, as had been the case in all of his lived long life, something would have to drop aimlessly from the fearsome sky above. Something that would ensure the future.

And something which would ensure the future did fall: a satellite phone, iodine pills, $7,000 of cash, two small diamonds, a French-to-German dictionary, a German-to-French dictionary, a half-full box of tic-tact, and a French-to-German-to-French dictionary. Unfortunately, the last thing to fall was a tabun needle.

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