For Sale: Noise Moths

Whaler S. Fishpole,
Freelance Journalist

These are some high-quality psychedelic consumables I’ve got here. I’m not talking half-potent bullshit that makes you feel like you huffed too much paint. I’m not even talking the kind of drugs that make you believe the world got turned inside out by a comet’s magnetic field, or that the sun is fake and the real sun is hidden in the earth’s core. What I have here will open doors to completely new, internally-consistent and infinitely expansive yet completely ridiculous worlds, all within your mind.

I’ve tried a lot of substances in my life, some legal, some not. I’ve seen others do it too. I have never seen anything like this before. I’m talking pupils as wide and as deep as the ocean. I’m talking sweat pouring from your ears because your brain is sweating from moving so fast. I’m talking shitting your pants and enjoying it because the shit feels like the warm air emerging from the volcano over which you are soaring in a squirrel suit.

All you need to do is swallow one, maybe two, of these noise moths. You don’t even need to worry about them flying around in your mouth because I’ll squash them for you beforehand. I will also mail them straight to you (discreetly).

You also cannot be human. For some reason, the noise moths do not affect humans.

Hit me up. I’ll give you a deal, no freebies though.

For more articles by Whaler S. Fishpole, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email fishpole.whaler@surrealtimes.net.

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