Free Respawn Service Offered Downtown

Tommy Potentuary,
TV Personality
[Artist's depiction of these events by Zotov]

Video games are awesome because whenever something bad happens you can just press “restart.” Even better, you can restart in a completely different place, instantly.

Why we can’t do this in our regular lives?

According to some genius young entrepreneurs, that’s a trick question. There is no reason.

“We believe that everybody should be able to start over” said Timothy Seymour. “That’s why my friends and I made a big human cannon for our science fair project, and why we’re turning that project into a business today.”

Timothy and his friends have what looks like a lemonade stand set up in downtown Los Angeles. The cost is $40, and what you get for that price is a completely new beginning.

“We’ll launch you up 5 miles into the sky,” Timothy says, ”You’ll land somewhere random, likely somewhere in California or Mexico, and then you can start over from there. All your problems will be gone, and you can start fresh (although it is possible you will have new problems).”

Some customers have voiced concerns about the dangers of being shot out of a cannon, but Timothy reassured me that his friends have safety measures in place.

Go check it out!

For more articles by Tommy Potentuary, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email tommypotent@surrealtimes.net.

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