| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Power outage causes slow motion | Tom Johnson |
| December 12, 2021 |
Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical? | Mike O'Really |
| August 23, 2021 |
God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero | Tommy Potentuary |
| August 23, 2021 |
2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign | Paul Kruger |
| July 18, 2021 |
Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! | The Mysterious M |
| April 9, 2021 |
Caterpillar Rash | Opheila Jones |
| March 12, 2021 |
Can Bone Removal Prevent The Spread Of Covid? | Common Observer |
| March 12, 2021 |
Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free | The Gulled One |
| February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
University Of California To Introduce Spiritual Evaluation To Admission Process | Nicholas M. Sennott |
| February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Man Sneezes; Gets Blessed By Jesus Christ | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Free Respawn Service Offered Downtown | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots | Carl Mon |
| October 28, 2020 |
Spiders As An Alternative To Music | Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
Sandcastle Sex Dolls Deemed Unhealthy | Tom Johnson |
| October 28, 2020 |
The City Of Jehovah | Mayor Pete Davidson |
| September 23, 2020 |
Luxury Space Lake Open for Family Fun | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 6, 2019 |
Is Happy Greens Vegetable Farm An Insidious Cult? | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Carousel Of Unending Happiness Vii | Ophelia Jones |
| November 1, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: My Boyfriend Turned Me Into a Vampire And Dumped Me | Jupiter |
| October 23, 2019 |
Kindergaten Learning Shines Like The Sun | Mrs Porter |
| October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest | Shock Johnson |
| October 5, 2019 |
Reality Supremacists Go Violent | Carl Mon |
| October 3, 2019 |
Larping Kids Cause a Ruckus | Tom Johnson |
| June 17, 2019 |
Sunderland Mound Growing | Sherry Wolverton |
| May 21, 2019 |
Occultist Ball Graveyard Growing Rapidly | Sherry Wolverton |
| April 16, 2019 |
Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy | The Mad Shark |
| April 12, 2019 |
Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords | William (Bill) Gumby |
| March 14, 2019 |
&-Pose Trend Sweeping Nation's Youth | The Purple Hermit |
| March 14, 2019 |
SGA Elections Delayed By Collective Burp | Common Observer |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| November 13, 2018 |
"Cigarette Jousting" -- A Danger To Our Youth | Rebecca Winston |
| October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 19, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” | The Editors |
| April 19, 2018 |
Writer Criticism | Phantom Framer |
| December 31, 2017 |
Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade | Alfred Humbleton |
| November 28, 2017 |
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 1, 2017 |
Anarchy Among Our Youth! | Clarence Mon |
| March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th | Hank T. Joseph |
| March 2, 2017 |
ZZZ PUTS WORDS TO SPENGLETON'S CURVES | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |