Man In The Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Is Disappointed

Dernberger Spengleton,
Tender to The Grand Conveyor

I was recently appointed as Tender to the Grand Conveyor by the man-in-the-castle about-which-the-world-rotates. It is my task to keep the world turning. It is my task to keep people interacting with each other, telling stories, and in particular spreading this man in the castle’s story. My most aspiring purpose is to gather those interested and lead them to visit the man’s castle, so they may see for themselves his condition and his purpose as a painter and thinker. I imagine there is nothing more convincing than to see how that he has isolated himself in order to focus thoroughly for all time.

I went to visit the man yesterday to update him on my doings. It was an unexpectedly formal meeting, with him confronting me with many numerical questions.

“How many have you told of me?”
“How many have those who you have told of me, told of me?”
“How many bits of knowledge have you gathered?”
“How much food have you brought?”

When I answered disappointing answers to all of these questions, the man sighed. He told me he had expected much better from me, and that he was feeling down because he hadn’t received a single delivery since my last visit.

When I apologized and said that I didn’t fully understand before what my task was, and that I would do better next time, he said that “[he] hoped so and wished me well.”

Then he allowed his mail slit to fall shut and, from behind the closed slit, wished me a good day. “I do sense you are destined for high novelty, perhaps castlehood, but the first step forward is as a Tender to the Conveyor. You must begin there, if you are in search of novelty. Please, do so if you can. It is in your best interest… And so this is good bye, good Dernberger.”

I spent the day sitting on benches far and wide, offering lighters to cigarette smokers, and telling the man’s story. I don’t like cigarettes, but I smoked them anyways so the conversations would last.

For more articles by Dernberger Spengleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email spengleton@surrealtimes.net.

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