Multiple Personalities Given Voting Rights

“The person is the spirit, the soul,” said Dr. Somolski in front of congress, “not just the material body. As such, when the constitution granted voting rights to all people, it granted rights to all spirits living within any given material body, of which there can be many.”

Congress wrote these ideas into law, and starting in March 2021, every soul will have equal rights, regardless of the number of souls it shares a material body with. Each will have separate identification, census data, and voting power.

Dr. Somolski continued, “The enlightenment philosopher John Locke would be proud. Given that the legislature mandated personality multiplexing treatment last year in order to treat loneliness, it only makes sense in context of a social contract that the legislature also values each individual personality within a ‘person’.”

Dr Somolski abruptly disagreed with himself. “This is bullshit. speaking here. How will we keep track of votes, if anyone can have however many they’d like? Where is the science??”

Then he changed again to a third personality, “We’ll do it with common decency, that’s what we’ll do! Without voter suppression personality consolidation laws!”

And back to the previous: “It’ll make political parties want their followers to develop multiple personalities. What kind of incentive is that? That isn’t healthy.”

The doctor’s multiple personalities went on arguing until the others in the chamber of congress wandered out of the room babbling to themselves, clearly affected by the new mandatory personality multiplexing therapy.

That said, the new voting laws passed and will take effect next month. It’s sure going to be interesting to see how many more census papers we get back next year. Government organizations are scrambling to prepare. Political parties are encouraging their followers to book the soonest appointments with personality multiplexing coaches. in order to maximize voting counts.

It seems that this proud day for all personalities, leaves for an uncertain political climate tomorrow.

For more articles by Carl Mon, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email


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