Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City

Dernberger Spengleton,
Times Staff

New York, NY -- Not long ago, an intelligence-boosting liquid began flowing from the Mandarin Oriental hotel. People and rodents gathered round to taste its effect. Just days ago, however, the liquid suddenly stopped attracting people and rodents the way it originally did.

This dulled attraction helped the color bottoms (see "Elderly Children" on surrealtimes.net) colorflatten nearly every rodent in the city. Now, as we live our lives, they push their fight outwards.

Here in New York, one rainbow-colored roadkill after the other is rising from the pavement, smiling wide and smelling like grandma’s cooking -- evidently not dead, but instead, doubly as alive as ever.

These colorful carcasses have been spotted here, there, and everywhere, doing good deeds and bringing warmth to people's hearts.

One rainbow rodent was seen gathering trash from the park. Another was seen sorting the former’s trash into separate recycling bins. Another was seen rescuing a choking person by picking the stringy steak tip from their throat. Another was seen delivering sunblock to those in need.

One particularly good-natured rainbow squirrel wrapped himself into a donut shape resembling one of New York’s famous colored bagels. He fed himself to a starving shoe-less man. After eating, the man remarked that it was the tastiest bagel he’d ever had, and that he was still hungry but full enough to return to sleep.

We here in New York see that the color bottoms are doing good work, and actually better work than we originally thought they were doing. We send our good wishes. “Keep coloring, friends”!

For more articles by Dernberger Spengleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email spengleton@surrealtimes.net.

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