The Mechanical Fellow Is A Mormon Communist Spook

John Short,
The Tinfoil Crusader

Tinfoil Crusader here, this time with some very bad news concerning our new “friend”, the Mechanical Fellow. I hate to sound like a broken record, but the guy is a spook. He’s got spook written all over him. His purpose? To rally the troops. You see, UMass has been infiltrated by a group of Mormon Communists (more on them later). The Mechanical Fellow is afraid for buildings for now, but mark my words, he’s going to become a campus celebrity. And before long, he’ll be striding into Southwest, praising Joseph Smith and Karl Marx (how do you think Venezuela fell?). He will be so massively popular that half the campus will become Mormon Communists on the spot. At the point, Subbaswamy will have no choice but to call in the National Guard. Except they’re already Jehovah’s Witnesses Anarchists. Game over. Now we’ve got the Mormons and the Jehovah’s Witnesses shooting at each other. You’ll wish all they did was knock on your door at 7 A.M. Get rid of this “Fellow,” now.

For more articles by John Short, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email tinfoil@surrealtimes.net.

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