The Surreal Three Split

The Surreal Three are now the Surreal Two - if they can even be found. The whereabouts of Samantha Blisse and Pavlov Polertski are a mystery. The remaining member, Wendy Yoon, gave a quick interview to the Times. The following is a partial transcript of my conversation with her.

Moe: So you don’t know where Samantha and Pavlov are?

Wendy: No, they started acting really weird. They wanted to back out of taking the permanent frequency. It was just really weird.


Moe: Why was it weird?

Wendy: The way they talked about it, it wasn’t that they thought that making it permanent was too much. It was more like making it permanent wasn’t far enough. They wanted to go way too far. But they wouldn’t let me know what their plans were, or who was helping them.

Moe: Do you have any thoughts on who was helping them?

Wendy: They had both received Facebook messages from someone. I don’t know who. I know that it scared them at first. But by yesterday they had agreed to do whatever that Facebook person wanted.

Moe: And now they’ve vanished?

Wendy: Yes.

Moe: So what are you and the remaining other two members of the Surreal Five going to do.

Wendy: Well… What we’ve realized is that this is all a distraction. We don’t need to be Surreal all the time. It’s just too much.

Moe: Rumors are that the three of you will begin taking the Three-Second Frequency daily, curing your problems temporarily.

Wendy: Those rumors are correct. Wait…

Moe: Yes?

Wendy: There’s one more thing. In the last couple days. Samantha has been, like, obsessed with this idea.

Moe: An idea?

Wendy: Yes. She calls it the Universal Aesthetic. I don’t know much about it other than what its called. But I think it might be what she’s after.

[Transcript Ends]

For the time, that concludes our coverage of the Surreal Five. Samantha Bliss and Pavlov Polertski have vanished, contacted by an unknown third party. Richard Smalls and the anonymous student have returned to private life. Wendy Yoon is considering writing a book about her experiences. The Surreal Times will update its readers if more information emerges.

For more articles by Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email


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