All netflix programming to be replaced by a live stream of one very shy squid eating yogurt. The squid has no reason to believe they are being filmed, yet they nonetheless suspect it. Millions of viewers sit in their living rooms naked, with each other’s fingers in each other’s navals, watching this innocent squid squirm. The schedule is as follows:

Mondays: Squid alone in bubble room.
Tuesdays: Squid alone in small, dimly-lit closet.
Wednesdays: Squid in bubble room with piles of existentialist literature.
Thursdays: Squid watching TV screen showing baby squids fight over food.
Fridays: Squid in bucket of water.
Saturdays: Squid in net.
Sundays: Squid with chocolate drizzled on it.

One daily viewer said, “I love Squidflix, it gives me everything I need in this slimy life.”

Ratings for Squidflix are sky high; they’ve never been higher. Some puttered out television executives are left wondering why no one had thought of this before.

---

POST A COMMENT

Submit

---

See Also

• Human-like Pet Store Opens Downtown

  March 12, 2021

  

• Hot New Place to Live: Centralia Pennsylvania

  April 16, 2019

  

• The Mechanical Fellow: As The Humans By The Pond Stalk, With The Tiny People I Will Talk

  May 21, 2019

  

Want to read more news? Click here for a random article.