A New Generation Of Media

Surreal Times News Team,
Times Staff

All netflix programming to be replaced by a live stream of one very shy squid eating yogurt. The squid has no reason to believe they are being filmed, yet they nonetheless suspect it. Millions of viewers sit in their living rooms naked, with each other’s fingers in each other’s navals, watching this innocent squid squirm. The schedule is as follows:

Mondays: Squid alone in bubble room.
Tuesdays: Squid alone in small, dimly-lit closet.
Wednesdays: Squid in bubble room with piles of existentialist literature.
Thursdays: Squid watching TV screen showing baby squids fight over food.
Fridays: Squid in bucket of water.
Saturdays: Squid in net.
Sundays: Squid with chocolate drizzled on it.

One daily viewer said, “I love Squidflix, it gives me everything I need in this slimy life.”

Ratings for Squidflix are sky high; they’ve never been higher. Some puttered out television executives are left wondering why no one had thought of this before.

For more articles by Surreal Times News Team, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email news@surrealtimes.net.

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