Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large

Sax Tuba,
Surreal Times Reporter

Over the past couple weeks, The Surreal Times HQ has received reports of people disappearing from the streets of Downtown Amherst. Eyewitness accounts place individuals walking downtown late at night and vanishing out of thin air, with nothing but a strange smell left behind. Similar reports were sent into Surreal Times HQ seven times, giving us reason to believe someone or something is behind the incidents. The first indicator that something was wrong was when we were visited by a woman holding back tears. She explained how she was walking downtown with her boyfriend and, in the blink of an eye, he had vanished. Confused, she went to the police, and while they said they would investigate the situation, she came to the Times to see if she could find an explanation for what happened.

An organization who claims to have some information on the matter has reached out to The Surreal Times.

The Real Pharmacists are a multi-purpose conglomerate that has a division dedicated to the research and capture of “cryptids”, creatures whose existence is considered questionable. One of the anonymous representatives of the Cryptid Division claimed that they’ve seen cases like this before. “From what you’ve told us we may be dealing with an adult Belmontian Gurp.” He went on to describe the creature as sharing many physical characteristics of frog while being closer in size to a human child (however, they are still unclear on any specifics due to the the elusive nature of the creature.) It also supposedly has the ability to latch onto its prey (perhaps via the back of the head) and lull them into a hypnotic state, which allows it to take them back to its dwelling. In addition, it releases a pheromone upon contact with its prey that has a “zone of effect” of at least 250 feet, and inhaling said pheromone causes the individual to become extremely forgetful. It also decreases the individual's motor functions significantly for a short amount of time. No doubt, this pheromone is a mechanism to ensure the creature’s escape.

We were told this pheromone has a foul odor that lingers even after its effects have worn off, giving us reason to belief that is what the witnesses smelled during the incidents.

The Pharmacists will need more time to investigate the scenes of the disappearances before they can fully confirm the presence of a cryptid and begin pursuit. Reports will continue as soon as any substantial information is given to The Times.

For more articles by Sax Tuba, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email saxtuba@surrealtimes.net.

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