HAVE YOU EVER EATEN LIPSTICK FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S PURSE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A RED CHERRY CANDY STICK AND THEN YOUR STOMACH STARTED FEELING WEIRD SO YOU DRANK A GALLON OF BLEACH BECAUSE YOU READ ON WWW.WTF-FACTS.COM THAT BLEACH CAN CURE A STOMACH ACHE BUT THEN THE BLEACH JUST MADE EVERYTHING WORSE SO YOU CHUGGED A BOTTLE OF GHOST PEPPER HOT SAUCE TO NEUTRALIZE THE BASE FROM THE BLEACH WITH THE ACID FROM THE HOT SAUCE BUT THEN THE HOT SAUCE WAS TOO SPICY SO YOU DRANK MILK TO NEUTRALIZE THE ACID BUT THEN YOU REALIZED THAT MILK IS ACTUAL A BASE SO THEN YOU SQUIRTED LEMONS INTO YOUR MOUTH TO ACIDIFY THE BASE BUT THEN THE LEMON WAS TOO SOUR SO YOU ATE A BAR OF SOAP TO COUNTERACT THE ACID FROM THE LEMON AND NOW YOU ARE LIVING YOUR LIFE JUST GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ACIDIC AND BASIC FOODS TO NEUTRALIZE YOUR STOMACH AND YOUR LIFE IS TERRIBLE ALL BECAUSE YOU ATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S LIPSTICK THAT ONE TIME? THEN YOU MAY QUALIFY FOR BENEFITS FROM A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT WITH STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP.

File an online claim by emailing lipstickruinedmylife@surrealtimes.net

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