May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children

Dernberger Spengleton,
Times Staff

New York, NY — The Oasis de Sawatdee, the living factory which transforms the callus into perceptive and the vacant into passionate. Its heart beats ever bouncily. Its gears turn ever fast. Its spigots spit ever energetically. It makes buttoxes colorful and long.

Hardened persons enter through the front doors. They emerge from the back of the factory as free consciousnesses with enlarged bottoms the size of yoga balls, the colors of rainbows. They are happy but also caring and with good intentions. More importantly, they are organized.

This Monday, they gathered in Columbus Library on 10th Avenue. There they developed chants and hand signals.

During subsequent days, they paraded around Central Park, bouncing on their rainbow bottoms, squashing every rat and weasel who dare cross their paths.

Surviving rodents fled the city. Masses of rainbow-stamped roadkill laid in their trails. The rainbow bottoms later vowed to extinguish or “rehabilitate by turning upside-down” all “carriers of disease” who dare return.

The rainbow bottoms chanted,

“MAY THE PLAGUE BE GONE..
MAY THE WORLD KEEP STRONG..
MAY WE PUSH AWAY GRAY..
MAKING ROOM FOR PLAY..
WE, THE COLOR BOTTOMS..
LIVING TODAY TO COLOR ROTTONS..
OR TO MOVE THEM FAR, FAR AWAY..”

In the span of one week, they dealt with most rodents in southwest Central Park.

But, shortly after, salty water spewed from a tall tower nearby. Hordes of rodents swarmed from all directions, scurrying at the feet of humans who were also interested in the special water. People and rodents alike slurped their fix, ventured home, spread word, and returned back in greater number.

Today the color bottoms continue to press forward against small odds. They treat each day as a new day, hoping that one day they will birth a new era -- one free of disease spreading, food stealing, eye straining rodents.

For more articles by Dernberger Spengleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email spengleton@surrealtimes.net.

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