Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident

The Purple Hermit,
Surreal Times Reporter

Through his noble journalistic efforts, this reporter has managed to schedule an interview with the shadow figure in control of the situation regarding last month’s materialization of a being of pure macroeconomics in front of the Isenberg Business School. Dubbed “The Overseer” by the Amherst community, his leadership was credited as a major factor in the materialization’s successful cover-up.

This reporter met with ‘The Overseer’ on the top floor of the DuBois library, inside a minimalist white office. ‘The Overseer’ welcomed this reporter warmly. “Hmmm, yes, I’ve been expecting you. Care for some wine?” This reporter detected a slight, vaguely British accent in his speech, but was unnerved for no apparent reason. He was also forced to decline the offer of wine, as it was a school night.

When asked about his next steps in preventing future incidents, ‘The Overseer’ chuckled. “I assure you, there is no need for concern. My security detail is working around the clock to ensure the safety of my students. The situation is under control.”

“All is going according to plan,” he claimed, refusing to give any further details. Then he proceeded to pick a pawn up off a chessboard, using it to knock a king to the ground. He smirked. “All in due time.”

He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, while placing his elbows on the desk and interlocking his fingers. “This ‘Over-Izen-B 1000%’ interests me. Its ‘ideals’ are strong, and ones with truly strong ‘ideals’ will open the way. I suspect it may try to usurp I, The Overseer, in the near future. A meeting between us, to decide who truly is the ‘number one economist’, is inevitable.”

He continued. “Mr. Hermit, have you heard of the famous British naturalist, ‘Charles Darwin’? He is an inspiration to me every day. He believes the ‘strong’ should control the ‘weak’.” He looks out his office window wistfully, down at a pair of students talking and laughing far below. “If you saw a dog eating a chocolate, would you not stop it?” He swirls his wine glass and takes a sip. “It understands not what it is doing.”

The conversation was interrupted by a man in a pressed business suit bursting into the room. “Sir, we’ve got a positive ID. It’s definitely her.”

‘The Overseer’ crushes the wineglass in his hand, scattering glass shards all over the shiny white floor. “Already? I didn’t think it would be so soon. Hmmmm, yes, do bring her in. We have much to discuss.” He turned to this reporter. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I have some important business to attend to. After all, Ipsum Pharmaceuticals can’t run itself. I’m sure we’ll see each other again in due time. ”

This reporter was escorted back to the ground floor of the library by three very friendly men in business suits, who seemed as though they were off to play a baseball game. It is unknown at this time if ‘The Overseer’ is affiliated with UMass at all. This reporter personally finds him delightful, and believes that anyone who finds him suspicious at all needs to get their head checked. This is the Purple Hermit, signing off.

For more articles by The Purple Hermit, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email purple.hermit@surrealtimes.net.

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