PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers

AMHERST, Massachusetts — Two romancing robots were fused together by rust when they fell asleep cuddling during a rainstorm. At the time, they’d been working a register shift at “Dorf’s Trans-galactic Farmers Market”.

Charlie Tomquat, the market’s spokesperson, commented on the matter. “The market recently got two wonderful co-managers. The first was Dipdot Bing, a witty music-making robot from Tennessee. And the second was Blaweep, a crafty car-manufacturing gizmo from Japan. Despite a language barrier, the two hit it off amazingly well. They are also both new-generation bots with fairly good weather resistance. So, as their relationship has blossomed, they have tended to volunteer for rain day shifts for the chance to spend time together.”

Dipdot and Blaweep’s relationship blossomed alongside the growth of their beloved market. They loved interacting with customers together, joking around, tending to the plants together, and feeding each other zap grapes when nobody was looking.

Unfortunately, these bots’ no longer have the choice to be together or not. After too many hours in the wet grass, their waterproofing failed. Rust fused them together, and now they are stuck at each others’ sides all the time.

Mr. Charlie said, “I think they are happier this way. This year has been a rollercoaster for me, and I am just glad to see two people who love each other get to spend time together.”

However, similar cases of beautiful ideas have proven fatal. The police cited one case where two starry-eyed teenagers handcuffed themselves (each their own first lover), only to find out that love doesn't last. It was wonderful for a while. Unfortunately, it ended with a dismembered hand. For this reason, the police department wishes to warn metallic beings not to get frisky in moist settings.

For more articles by Tom Johnson, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email tjohnson@surrealtimes.net.


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