Drunk Hotline Available Now

Tommy Potentuary,
TV Personality

DRUNK HOTLINE
978-333-3656
“Let’s make the best of that beer”
Available midnight-4:00am

Had a crazy night? Overflowing with thoughts too weird to waste? Sitting there at 3am wishing your passed out friends would wake up and listen to what you have to say?

No worries, friend, just hit up the Drunk Hotline at 978-333-3656.

Dernberger Spengleton will be there for you. He’ll listen to what you have to say. He’ll be a shoulder to lean on. More so, he’ll ramble back at you, ask questions, make funny noises, and do whatever is necessary to make the best of your late night energy. He is a black belt in Drunk Energy Harnessing and Cultivation therapy.

Note: Drunk people only. If you are found to be sober, we will hang up. Don’t waste our time.
For more articles by Tommy Potentuary, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email tommy.potent@surrealtimes.net.

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