New legislation requires humans to go through a series of physical and mental tests every morning. This is part of the “Continuous Integration Act”, which aims to ensure that society is maintaining good health during these isolating times of Covid-19, and to recognize and fix problems quickly after they arise.

The test includes:

* Do 10 pushups while touching your tongue to your nose.

* Run .25 miles without stopping or wearing clothes.

* Steal something from a stranger without them noticing, then apologize and return it.

* Recognize a true statement as a true statement.

* Recognize a fictitious statement as such.

* Make a joke which causes another human to laugh.

Tests will take place over zoom and take roughly 30 minutes per day.

Any humans who fail one or more of tests will be sent to a “re-integration seminar”, where they will be watched closely and guided until they are able to re-join the capable public.

There is some degree of controversy here, but science backs the need for this law. As the saying goes, “if you don’t use it, you lose it.” It is important to continually exercise our abilities, even during the slowness of pandemic times, in order to avoid letting them decay.

For instance, somebody might not talk to anyone for a few months, then all of the sudden realize they no longer remember how to have a conversation.

Or, someone might not run for a year, gain a large amount of weight, and realize they cannot run any more.

If you test a small number of key abilities every day, then they will never decay. That’s the general idea here. So, while I acknowledge some ethical concerns here, I do believe Continuous Human Integration Testing will be beneficial to individuals as well as society as a whole.

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