Opinion: Humans Should Be Banned

Guy Person,
Times Correspondent

Just my hot take here, but all humans are bad and I propose we ban them entirely. I have a long list of reasons, including: they’re selfish, they break things, not all of their words are true, they make each other cry, they smell bad, they kill each other, they leave each other to die in the cold, and so on. Truly, there is no valid reason not to ban them. At least for six months to a year would be a reasonable start. Actually, the ban should not be revoked until they demonstrate some change in behavior. Why unban them if they’re just going to mess everything up again? Next on the agenda, I think we should ban moths. I do not like moths.

For more articles by Guy Person, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email person.guy@surrealtimes.net.

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