Scooter Coolman Finds A Lover

Humans of the Surreal Plane

Dernberger Spengleton,
Tender to the Grand Conveyer
[Artist's depiction of these events by Kid Zotov]

VENICE, CA —Saturday. A man 40 years young rolled around the Venice beach boardwalk on a scooter contraption with enough sexual gravity to warp spacetime. His ride consisted of a giant bean bag which dragged on the pavement on either side of a rented electric scooter. He leaned back like a rugged motorcyclist, bumping “I like it when you call me big poppa,” on a boombox held between his legs. He wore neon pants and a thick gold chain around his neck and was followed by a gang of seagulls.

“I like your ride, man,” I told him, hoping to initiate conversation.

“I like my ride too, man, but I don’t care about you. I’m just looking for a bad bitch. Give me some space. You’re polluting my vibes.” Unfortunately, our interview did not last any longer.

For more articles by Dernberger Spengleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email spengleton@surrealtimes.net.

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