The Diving Bell And The Butterfly And A Nipple

The Editors,
Times Staff

i found a purple fuzzy nipple on the floor. Just layin’ there all on it’s lonesome. Seems really sad to have lost a purple fuzzy partner and left to be trod upon. Maybe he was a stray nip to begin with. Either way, i couldn’t just leave him there. So i took my shirt off right then and there, and i scooted my two nipples to the sides to make room for a new one. Then i grabbed the stray and super-glued that sucker right onto the center of my chest. It felt right. i felt more like I had a body than I had in a long time. In the past i felt very disembodied. What a strange coincidence, irony, that this disembodied body part of me would be what it took for me to be inside and within my own body. My feeling at home in my body was made possible by a body part not at home anywhere. For years i had felt a brain without a body, like a disincarnate mind. I did not know how to communicate to anybody properly what it felt like to be back home in one’s body, and yet i nevertheless felt this was something i must attempt, to make this sensation a communal one, so as not to be cursed with the terror of being locked into a prison of self. For a moment, i thought about what it would be like to be a nipple. Does a nipple feel the same amount of terror i feel on a daily basis? Does it feel without a function, a useless appendage that can’t even so much as squirt milk? i decided at that point to cease my human endeavors and focus full time on being a nipple. My name would be Nipple Steve, and i would fight crime.

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