Whose Bones Are These?

Aldus Humbleton,
Cousin of Alfred

THE YEAR OF THE GERM. I GOT MY BONES REMOVED. NOW I GOT ‘EM PUT BACK IN BECAUSE THE GERMS ARE GONE.

THEY’RE NOT EVEN MY BONES.

MY NEW SKULL IS TOO SMALL FOR MY BRAIN. THE LEFT ARM IS A WOMAN’S LEG.

I TRUSTED THE DOCTORS TO SAFEKEEP MY MOST INTERNAL STRUCTURE, AND THEY GAVE ME BACK A BUNCH OF RANDOM LIMBS DUCT-TAPED TOGETHER.

OUTRAGE

LAWSUITS

FAMINE ON YOUR FAMILIES

I AM 100% DISCOMBOBULATED BUT THEY SAY THE CONTRACT SAYS THIS THE CONTRACT SAYS THAT.

I TELL THEM I WANT MY GOD-GIVEN BONES BACK AND THEY SAY THEY DON’T HAVE THEM??????

THEY GAVE MY ARMS TO A BODYBUILDER AND MY LEGS TO A DISABLED CHILD, PEOPLE WHO HAVE SINCE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH MY LIMBS. HOW COULD I EVER RIGHTEOUSLY TAKE THEM BACK?

NOW SOME LIMPING NOB IS COMING KNOCKING ASKING FOR MY BONES, SAYING THEY WERE HIS ORIGINALLY? ALL I CAN SAY IS

THEY ARE MY BONES NOW, MISTER SHORT LEG

For more articles by Aldus Humbleton, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email aldhumbleton@surrealtiems.net.

POST A COMMENT

See Also

Want to read more news? Click here for a random article.