"The Thirteen-second Frequency Will Free Us"

The Editors,
Times Staff

Succeeding the "three-second frequency", which temporarily cures H-33 induced surreality symptoms, and the "seven-second frequency", which permanently cures symptoms, the Surreal Five have adopted a "thirteen-second frequency" capable of permanently inducing surreality.

What follows is a joint statement by the Surreal Five in its entirety.

You have called us the Surreal Five. We would call you the Real Seven Billion. We are not better or worse, but we are different, and we wish to remain different. With that, we announce the creation of the Thirteen-Second Frequency. For those that wish to join us, the Frequency can be administered by any standard medical smart flashlight. But be warned. The Thirteen-Second Frequency is irreversible. Do you really want to be Surreal? Think before you leap - or, in this case, flash.

Signed

Samantha Blisse
Richard Smalls
Pavlov Polertski
Wendy Yoon
And one student wishing to remain anonymous
For more articles by The Editors, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email management@surrealtimes.net.

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