Oroxtaclüve Sighting Downtown Amherst, Collateral Damage

Carl Mon,
Head of the Peripheral Intelligence Agency

AMHERST, Massachusetts — After a windy day, an elusive “Oroxtaclüve” was spotted downtown. It unfortunately, during its daily morning fall from the sky, caught its chronically-crooked neck on a telephone wire. For a minute or so, it spasmed as electricity coursed through its body. Only when its torso re-oxygenated to buoyancy did it float back to its home in the clouds.

“The ‘clüve was in obvious pain. We brought in.a fire truck to help unhook it from the line, but it was shaking around too much, and we couldn’t help.” said officer Tom Johnson, “We were lucky that it floated back up on its own after a while.”

Science does not currently understand how ‘clüves, through natural processes, descend to the ground each morning. They are amazingly light creatures and spend much of their time in the atmosphere. But, their bodies somehow become more dense during sleep, causing them to float downward. Upon reaching the ground, they wake up, move around, and shortly then-after rise back to where they came from. Usually they eat flowers for breakfast while on Earth, when they can find them. But this time, the ‘clüve went hungry.

“We’re happy things worked out,” said officer Johnson, “Sadly, there was a casualty. A woman from town, Mrs Franklin, says that her dog bit onto the ‘clüve's foot during the ordeal and was carried upwards never to be scene since.”

We at Amherst PD hope that you’ll keep both the ‘clove and the puppy in your prayers. Please report any further ‘clüve sightings to researchers at sky-creature-science@umass.edu.

For more articles by Carl Mon, click here. To get in touch with this writer, email mon.carl@surrealtimes.net.

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