RECENTLY:   
Howler Howls His Last   .:.   
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG   .:.   
Local Boys Learns Not To Lie   .:.   
At The Foot of The Altar   .:.   
A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts   .:.   
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants   .:.   
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt   .:.   
William Blanket Found Guilty of Existential Malpractice   .:.   
Bihexical Comic b#6   .:.   
What's So Great About Language Anyway?   .:.   
Letter to The Editor   .:.   

The Surreal Times

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Howler Howls His Last

Arkansas Howler gives up...

December 12, 2017 Joe Kierlskegrienger,
Times Correspondent

After a fierce exchange with Amherst PD, the Arkansas Howler, apparently discontent with his move to our area, has given up howling entirely. Trouble began the morning of Wednesday, November the 8th at the Howler’s house. ... [Continued]...

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Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG

December 4, 2017 Dernberger Spengleton,
Times Staff

You may have noticed during a rainy or wretched day of late, the “for sale” sign, brown with white lettering, that was once upon a time erected on the foul-smelling lot across the road from Tony’s Super Store. And you may have wondered what exactly was for sale. Because, in that big hay field, home only to a smal... [Continued]...

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Local Boys Learns Not To Lie

November 20, 2017 Cro Raka,
Times Staff

Somehow, somewhere, Slim Tim learned what happens when you lie. And not very good things come to liars. Here is a tale horrific and chilling to the bone. Ah, and so you remain? You have been warned. ... [Continued]...

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At The Foot of The Altar

November 16, 2017 Doctor Goldstein,
Times Staff

“Here,” he said to himself, gazing up at the sky above. “Here we will be free.”... [Continued]...

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A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts

December 4, 2017

Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants

November 30, 2017

Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt

November 28, 2017

William Blanket Found Guilty of Existential Malpractice

November 23, 2017
  • Bihexical Comic b#6

    November 28, 2017
  • What's So Great About Language Anyway?

    November 28, 2017
  • Letter to The Editor

    November 28, 2017

About

In these surreal times, a newspaper is required to document the history currently unfolding. Four doctors of journalism have dedicated themselves to unearthing the truth that lies somewhere beneath the crust of what was formerly perceived. What they and their colleagues discover is conveyed in these stories.

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