An Extra-terrible Extraterrestrial First Impression
It’s always a shame when you spend hours, days, or weeks looking forward to a special moment, so carefully planning what to say and what to do, only to go completely blank when the moment finally comes. We all oaf up sometimes. Sometimes, upon meeting someone we aspire to be like or are curious about. Sometimes, when... [Continued]...
CHIMPANZEE JOE: THIS IS YOUR SECOND WARNING
Filthy humans, I hate repeating myself. I am not repetitious by nature. But when circumstances obligate, I will comply.... [Continued]...
A number of roosters from the recent cockfighting bust in Northampton managed to escape their containment areas at local animal rehabilitation centers. Five have been tracked down (only three without trouble). UMass PD is on the case.... [Continued]...
Chimpanzee Joe. Intelligent, verbose and misanthropic despite lacking functional vocal cords. Today, Chimpanzee Joes communicates via his typewriter, a computer and a special speech tablet.... [Continued]...
In these surreal times, a newspaper is required to document the history currently unfolding. Four doctors of journalism have dedicated themselves to unearthing the truth that lies somewhere beneath the crust of what was formerly perceived. What they and their colleagues discover is conveyed in these stories.
