RECENTLY:   
Gulled One Quiet No More   .:.   
An Unexpected Source of Calm   .:.   
Piss Potability Activists Give Us The Piss   .:.   
A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES   .:.   
Common Man Builds Amazing Inspectrograph   .:.   
PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers   .:.   
Ants Construct Germ Lab With Stolen Viruses   .:.   
Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself   .:.   
Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines   .:.   
Emergent Artificial Intelligence Sends Cryptic Message    .:.   
The Mechanical Fellow Warns Us of His Counterpart   .:.   
Dear Jupiter: "I'm a Formless Ball of Light, and I don't want my boyfriend to know."   .:.   
A Letter of Recruitment to a Novelty Prodigy   .:.   
Ants Join Arms at The Strait of Gibraltar    .:.   
The Conspiracy of The Crows   .:.   
Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy   .:.   
Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston   .:.   
Mechanical Man Spotted in Boston   .:.   
Very Small Dinosaur Spotted at Faneuil Hall   .:.   

The Surreal Times

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Gulled One Quiet No More

October 3, 2019 The Gulled One,
Times Correspondent

I was quiet and left to my memories. I especially like reliving the days leading up to the festival, when artists would paint the sand to look like the sky. I'd float through the crowds, sandcastle in hand, clouds in eye, saltwater dripping off my trunks. Mom made bootleg cola in a bucket and Dad was a music man who pl... [Continued]...

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An Unexpected Source of Calm

October 3, 2019 Brendovic Leebac,
Eternal Plasma Entity

I was sitting in a large armchair reading a book on Mary Todd Lincoln. My eyes ached and my head was throbbing. 14 hours…... [Continued]...

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Piss Potability Activists Give Us The Piss

October 3, 2019 Himturr Shnottz,
Thinking Man

Those dag-flimpin hunger strike skin-twigs were on one thing when they were advocating for vegetarianism. They stepped it up a few notches too many, I’d say a whole hunk of notches too many, when they began cleaning up the town’s piss supply.... [Continued]...

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A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES

August 30, 2019 Dernberger Spengleton,
Tender to The Grand Conveyor

To the those who value dreams,... [Continued]...

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Common Man Builds Amazing Inspectrograph

October 3, 2019

PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers

October 3, 2019

Ants Construct Germ Lab With Stolen Viruses

October 3, 2019

Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself

September 26, 2019

Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines

September 19, 2019

Emergent Artificial Intelligence Sends Cryptic Message

September 4, 2019

The Mechanical Fellow Warns Us of His Counterpart

September 4, 2019

Dear Jupiter: "I'm a Formless Ball of Light, and I don't want my boyfriend to know."

September 4, 2019
  • A Letter of Recruitment to a Novelty Prodigy

    October 3, 2019
  • Ants Join Arms at The Strait of Gibraltar

    October 3, 2019
  • The Conspiracy of The Crows

    October 3, 2019
  • Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy

    October 3, 2019
  • Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston

    September 26, 2019
  • Mechanical Man Spotted in Boston

    September 4, 2019
  • Very Small Dinosaur Spotted at Faneuil Hall

    September 4, 2019

About

In these surreal times, a newspaper is required to document the history currently unfolding. Four doctors of journalism have dedicated themselves to unearthing the truth that lies somewhere beneath the crust of what was formerly perceived. What they and their colleagues discover is conveyed in these stories.

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