Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap

Dr. Linda Peterson and (RIP) Professor Burgowittz involved

This article concerns journalist Dernberger Spengleton’s life partner. She is a wholesome, caring, wise woman. She gave him her eyes when his were ripped out from his eye sockets by a spider. Having somehow seen the goodness in him, she married him a moment afterward, entrusting him to forever act as her eyes.... [Continued]...

Deluxe Papa Vape Pods Hit Stores

Mutual Hallucination Ensues

The enigmatic company Deluxe Papa, known primarily for selling server hardware during the dotcom boom, has found success in a new market: vape pods. Deluxe Papa sells pods for many of the most popular vapes, but their pods don’t contain any nicotine. Their new product is marketed under the name Deluxe Papa Mutual H... [Continued]...

Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords

Moths from Butterfield Hall attack innocent people on Orchard Hill

I told them this would happen. I told the Chancellor himself I wasn’t capable of managing a goddamned quarantine. But he didn’t listen, both he and those bureaucratic bozos. “You’re the facilities manager, Bill,” they said, “So, do your job. Manage the facilities.”... [Continued]...