RECENTLY:   
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle   .:.   
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween    .:.   
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball   .:.   
Wacky Weather Report, Brought To You By Bozo The Clown   .:.   
From the Mouth of the Pig 40   .:.   
Federal Reserve of Thoughts to replace The Federal Reserve   .:.   
Power outage causes slow motion   .:.   
31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012   .:.   
Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst   .:.   
>Man Obscured By Tuba   .:.   
Drink Helium For Social Distancing   .:.   
Holyman Summons A Party    .:.   
Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical?   .:.   
What is compound neuronal exposure disease?   .:.   
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils   .:.   
Job Opening!   .:.   
The Dangers of An Unlicensed Masseuse    .:.   
What I learned from trading my penis for a VHS copy of "Willow" starring Warwick Davis (Now on Redbox!)    .:.   
Column: Pleakley's Afternoon   .:.   
Local Business Tries Out Causal Fridays   .:.   
God Has Second Thoughts   .:.   
Facebook Subsidizing relocation to their simulated world   .:.   
Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons?   .:.   
Wanted: Geoffrey   .:.   
Stuck in a bug   .:.   
Free Will Fridays   .:.   
Observations of a Dad-like Cryptid   .:.   

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Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle

December 12, 2021 Dernberger Spengleton,
Tender to the Conveyor

The mime lifted his own head from his body, holding it in the air. The body fell to the floor, but the mime's head remained levitating. A third eye emerged from the center of its forehead. Stick figures jumped from the mime’s ears and parachuted to the ground using umbrellas and yelling, “Mother Wings has been summ... [Continued]...

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  • #battle
  • #magic
  • ♥ 3
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Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween

December 12, 2021 Dernberger Spengleton,
Tender to the Conveyor

October 31st, at a house party in Amherst, MA -- Bedsheet ghosts, cardboard box robots, and others fled the scene after a giant worm swallowed the drummer. It was a punk rock show on Halloween, costumes everywhere, and the mosh was heavy.... [Continued]...

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  • ♥ 2
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A Dimension inside a Disco Ball

December 12, 2021 Dernberger Spengleton,
Tender to the Conveyor

This year began the annual juggler council retreat inside Anna and Spanky's giant inverted disco ball. The time was 9 o'clock. The location: Venice Beach. Representatives from various sects of the juggling world gathered from lands far away, coming to a common point to stir a cauldron containing that which cannot be en... [Continued]...

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  • #the-matrix
  • #juggling
  • ♥ 1
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Wacky Weather Report, Brought To You By Bozo The Clown

August 23, 2021 Bozo The Clown,
Times Correspondent

The weather will change from rainy to sunny at some point if it hasn’t already. Hang in there, folks, it’s going to be a wild ride. ... [Continued]...

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  • #weather
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From the Mouth of the Pig 40

December 12, 2021

Federal Reserve of Thoughts to replace The Federal Reserve

December 12, 2021

Power outage causes slow motion

December 12, 2021

31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012

December 12, 2021

Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst

December 12, 2021

>Man Obscured By Tuba

December 12, 2021

Drink Helium For Social Distancing

December 12, 2021

Holyman Summons A Party

December 12, 2021

Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical?

December 12, 2021

What is compound neuronal exposure disease?

December 12, 2021

Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils

December 12, 2021

Job Opening!

December 12, 2021

The Dangers of An Unlicensed Masseuse

August 23, 2021
  • What I learned from trading my penis for a VHS copy of "Willow" starring Warwick Davis (Now on Redbox!)

    December 12, 2021
  • Column: Pleakley's Afternoon

    December 12, 2021
  • Local Business Tries Out Causal Fridays

    December 12, 2021
  • God Has Second Thoughts

    December 12, 2021
  • Facebook Subsidizing relocation to their simulated world

    December 12, 2021
  • Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons?

    December 12, 2021
  • Wanted: Geoffrey

    December 12, 2021
  • Stuck in a bug

    December 12, 2021
  • Free Will Fridays

    December 12, 2021
  • Observations of a Dad-like Cryptid

    December 12, 2021

About

In these surreal times, a newspaper is required to document the history currently unfolding. Four doctors of journalism have dedicated themselves to unearthing the truth that lies somewhere beneath the crust of what was formerly perceived. What they and their colleagues discover is conveyed in these stories.

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