RECENTLY:   
Geese Departure Pushed Back Again   .:.   
High-quality Spot Found Downtown   .:.   
Plane Destroys Blimp, Deadly Tabun Needles Rain Upon Civilians   .:.   
Linda Peterson Freed: How Will She Redeem Herself?   .:.   
The Carousel of Unending Happiness Just Around a Corner And Under Your Nose   .:.   
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How To Reach the End of The World   .:.   
A Study in Cow Pelt and Citrus   .:.   
The Wake of The Tabun Needle Tragedy   .:.   
Man In The Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Is Disappointed   .:.   
Take The Vow Of Loudness   .:.   
Cheap Storage in The Sky   .:.   
Dernberger Spengleton Appointed Tender to the Grand Conveyor   .:.   
The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces   .:.   
A Secret Feast in Argentina   .:.   
Obituary: Chuck Stylish   .:.   
Obituary: Big Brass Bessie   .:.   
Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy   .:.   
Obituary: Dingus Hullentail   .:.   
Obituary: The Last Pale Duck   .:.   
Obituary: Agatha Pendleton   .:.   
Bihexical Search 18   .:.   
Man In Castle Rejects Tour   .:.   
y2k38 Is Not Just Another y2k   .:.   
Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant   .:.   
From The Mouth of The Pig 18   .:.   
Le’tratte Storage LLC Thriving   .:.   
The Mechanical Fellow: "Humanity is on track for doom"   .:.   

Plane Destroys Blimp, Deadly Tabun Needles Rain Upon Civilians

Tom Johnson,
Sergeant, UMass PD

Yesterday a crank named George S. Halfly flew a stolen single-engine plane into the storage blimp floating above Amherst. The blimp erupted into flames as Halfly narrowly escaped. Thousands of items rained from the sky: furniture, antique snow machines, brown boxes, live kittens, and more brown boxes. While a number of... [Continued]...

Linda Peterson Freed: How Will She Redeem Herself?

Now on house arrest

Dr. Linda Peterson,
Jailed Doctor

After surviving an attempt on my life in prison, I am now faced with what to do with the life I have just preserved. Given that the plot was concocted by the warden of the prison himself, my parole board has decided to allow me to finish my sentence at home, under house arrest. However, there is a stipulation: I must p... [Continued]...