| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Job Opening! | The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
Talking To Your Child About The Worker Elves That Live In Your Body | Lucy Bugle |
| July 18, 2021 |
Public Notice: Bones Will Be Distributed Evenly | Tom Johnson |
| July 18, 2021 |
Surreal Times Bottom Five Under Five. | The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
What Really Happened When A Rodent Teether And A Tobot Roother Kissed. | The Speculative Asexual |
| May 29, 2021 |
Ant Joins Surrealist Journalism Team | The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 9, 2021 |
Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero | The Mysterious M |
| March 12, 2021 |
Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker | Madame Madman |
| December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots | Carl Mon |
| December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
Bunny Rabbit Rave Hero | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
Pedro Stein, Un Secretary-general: | Adam Stein |
| September 23, 2020 |
Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled | Vivian Mauve |
| September 23, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself | Jupiter |
| May 12, 2020 |
Fleeting Touches on Other's Lives | Songsinger |
| May 7, 2020 |
Testy Time Travelers Take Time-out, Investigating Teleportation | Hedwig the Hangry |
| December 6, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| November 2, 2019 |
Television Host Ambivalent About His Job | Anonymous |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Missive To The Editors Of The Surreal Times | Alan Partridge |
| November 2, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Is Criminal, Police Do Nothing | Carl Mon |
| October 3, 2019 |
Letter From The Foreign Dreams Correspondent | Alan Partridge |
| October 3, 2019 |
Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy | Carl Mon |
| September 26, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself | Jupiter |
| May 21, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Resigns Post | Clarence Mon |
| May 21, 2019 |
My Name is Mr. Terrible And I Just Like to Sneak Around | Mr. Terrible |
| April 16, 2019 |
Have You Seen The Balloon With Teeth | Melanie Richardson |
| April 16, 2019 |
The Weight of The Job and Who it Weighs On | Graham Rapier |
| April 12, 2019 |
Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords | William (Bill) Gumby |
| March 14, 2019 |
Revamping Cruel and Unusual Punishment in The Hampshire County Jail | Common Observer |
| February 16, 2019 |
Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant | The Purple Hermit |
| February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| October 28, 2018 |
Words Discover How To Make Love | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 1, 2018 |
Bonkers Bozos Think the Answer is in The Past | Alfred Humbleton |
| September 19, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” | The Editors |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Mechanical Chum: Thoughts On Our New Metal Friend | Eddie Octo |
| July 21, 2018 |
Town Must Do Better | Chris Bascomb |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| April 19, 2018 |
A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... | Tom Johnson |
| April 19, 2018 |
Job Opening: Professional Wanderer | Cro Raka |
| March 15, 2018 |
Spear of Destiny Stolen From Auction | Roberto Piccolo |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
| October 17, 2017 |
Young People Try To Start Careers | Cryptic Mark |
| September 23, 2017 |
More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry | Cro Raka |
| May 7, 2017 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| March 17, 2017 |
Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |