| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| July 18, 2021 |
Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! | The Mysterious M |
| July 18, 2021 |
What Really Happened When A Rodent Teether And A Tobot Roother Kissed. | The Speculative Asexual |
| February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM | Zed Murky |
| February 9, 2021 |
Man Sneezes; Gets Blessed By Jesus Christ | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Locals Be Advised: Harrison Honeycrisp | Aleister Frost |
| December 13, 2020 |
Account: Observations of An Oatmeal Beard on a Bus | Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Damn Good Case Of The Brownie Bonkers | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| July 21, 2020 |
Account: Hand Sanitizing Vigilantism Saves the World | Carl Mon |
| January 25, 2020 |
Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity | Cryptic Mark |
| January 25, 2020 |
Account: Misinterpretation Of Signs | Bresson Frank |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Account: Hearsay Heresy | Soosberg |
| November 2, 2019 |
Blue Alien Petting Zoo Coming To Amherst | Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Alien Farmers Market in my Backyard | Charlie Tomquat |
| June 16, 2019 |
Account: Victim of Crows | Tom Johnson |
| June 16, 2019 |
Death By Halal | Tom Johnson |
| May 16, 2019 |
CALIFORNIA SOCK PUPPET MAN ESCAPES SECRET FACILITY | Sax Tuba |
| May 13, 2019 |
These Things Are Innocent | Eddy Cruise |
| April 16, 2019 |
An Account on The English Language | Linguist Er |
| April 16, 2019 |
Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy | The Mad Shark |
| March 14, 2019 |
SGA Elections Delayed By Collective Burp | Common Observer |
| March 13, 2019 |
Ipsum Communications Satellite Aims Radar at 4th Moon of Jupiter | The Purple Hermit |
| March 13, 2019 |
Account: I feed Myself to Myself | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| February 21, 2019 |
Knocking for Dreams | Somoni Endadid |
| February 16, 2019 |
Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant | The Purple Hermit |
| February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky | Tommy Potentuary |
| January 29, 2019 |
The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 28, 2019 |
Accountant Missing: Have you seen Sally Gomez? | Maria Gonzales |
| December 12, 2018 |
Former Arms Dealer Assassinated | Roberto Piccolo |
| November 19, 2018 |
Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large | Sax Tuba |
| October 31, 2018 |
Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist | The Purple Hermit |
| October 20, 2018 |
Scale Replica of Amherst Discovered Miles Under Amherst | The Purple Hermit |
| October 2, 2018 |
Richard Smalls' Statement | The Editors |
| August 5, 2018 |
AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW | Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 29, 2018 |
Shiftier Than Ever: The Baron Receives 3.2 Billion Dollars | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| April 21, 2018 |
Special Report: On Recent Developments in Hermitude | The Editors |
| April 13, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 11, 2018 |
Head of Atonal Music Appreciation Club Silently Outed | Common Observer |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 20, 2018 |
Obituary: Ryan Patrick Johnson | The Editors |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 17, 2018 |
Accountant Wanted | Jonathan Smith Johnson |
| November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? | Anonymous |
| November 15, 2017 |
Symptoms of the New Avian Flu | Colette |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
| January 31, 2017 |
The Man in the Crows Nest | Ralphie Warbler |