| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012 | Rio Calais |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils | Medusa's Tendril |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly And A Nipple | The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM | Zed Murky |
| February 9, 2021 |
Open Letter To My Past Self | Name Withheld Due To Safety |
| December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Cdc Now Recommends Three Personalities Per Person | Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| September 23, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
| July 29, 2020 |
Volcano Gods Demand Tribute | Grand Elder Edna |
| May 5, 2020 |
Let's Paint a Picture: Trout Fishing | Vivian Mauve |
| April 28, 2020 |
Attendence Required At Imagining Abundance Event | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
Fireworks At The Convergence Bowl | Common Observer |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
Geography By George: The Kentucky Bend | George the Geographer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Squid Wrangling Methods | Dave Fingle |
| January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead | Flip Gilligan |
| December 6, 2019 |
An Ancient Graveyard | Alan Partridge |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
| November 2, 2019 |
Hypercube Confessions And The Future | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Fate Of Hotdog Attack Victims | Carl Mon |
| October 5, 2019 |
Partial Devastation, Questions Follow Maritime Disaster | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| October 5, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness | Your RingMaster |
| October 4, 2019 |
Intelligent Life Destroying Itself | Ferdinand Maxwell |
| October 3, 2019 |
Larping Kids Cause a Ruckus | Tom Johnson |
| October 3, 2019 |
The Conspiracy of The Crows | Rudy Raultz |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show | Common Observer |
| May 21, 2019 |
Novelty Vandals Reconfigure West Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
| March 14, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Cannot Break Out or Be Broken Out | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
| March 13, 2019 |
Ipsum Communications Satellite Aims Radar at 4th Moon of Jupiter | The Purple Hermit |
| March 11, 2019 |
Man Who Won't Stop Talking Caught, Applauded | Michael O’Really |
| February 26, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 24, 2019 |
Minor Scrapes, Tears, In Aftermath of High Rise Collapse | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| January 24, 2019 |
Castle About Which World Rotates: dweller unsatisfied, unable to paint or escape | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 22, 2018 |
La Paz: City of Blue and Gold | Cro Raka |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| November 18, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Rainbow Colors! | Tommy Potentuary |
| November 5, 2018 |
Surreal Paraguay | Cro Raka |
| October 31, 2018 |
Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist | The Purple Hermit |
| October 21, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Stores | Tommy Potentuary |
| October 9, 2018 |
The Martians Are Here, and it is Glorious | The Purple Hermit |
| September 23, 2018 |
Is There A Seven-Second Frequency? | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 21, 2018 |
Escaped Roosters Wreak Havoc Downtown | Tom Johnson |
| July 21, 2018 |
Cockfighter's Genetic Medium A Mystery | Oswald Avery |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Letter To The Fake Sun 2 | The Editors |
| May 30, 2018 |
Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 19, 2018 |
Musical Fun All Around | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 19, 2018 |
2nd Annual Acupuncture Social | Loomis Taunch |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| March 15, 2018 |
Upcoming Event: Art Takes on Art | Loomis Taunch |
| March 15, 2018 |
The Balloon: Part 2 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
Bihexical Search #8 | Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| January 22, 2018 |
Faith Can Move Mountains | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 17, 2018 |
PSA: Keep Animals Inside | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 17, 2018 |
The Princess Presents: Rope Arms ^Goliath | Common Observer |
| January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column | Dennis Horizontal Hands |
| December 31, 2017 |
Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade | Alfred Humbleton |
| December 25, 2017 |
The Fun Is Over Early This Year | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 23, 2017 |
A PICKLE TO THE PREFRONTAL | Wes Sizemore |
| December 15, 2017 |
The Surreal Web Died Today | Priestess Charlene |
| November 15, 2017 |
Symptoms of the New Avian Flu | Colette |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 24, 2017 |
Letter to the Fake Sun | S. Smalls |
| October 15, 2017 |
UMass Football Goes Gorillas | Wes Sizemore |
| July 5, 2017 |
Dragonflies, Mind Control, Polar Bears & Oil | Clarence Mon |
| April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social to be hosted at the Fine Arts Center! | Loomis Taunch |
| March 31, 2017 |
Protest by the Tree Folk | Moriarty Collins |
| March 3, 2017 |
Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen | Cro Raka |
| March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 2, 2017 |
A Negative Event | Chett Vildermesh |
| February 1, 2017 |
Botany can really Ruffle Feathers | Armädeius Galouei |
| January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 31, 2017 |
IMPORTANT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY | Professor Burgowittz |
| January 31, 2017 |
Letter to the editor | Chett Vildermesh |
| January 31, 2017 |
Letter to the editor | Chett Vildermesh |