| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Column: Pleakley's Afternoon | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| December 12, 2021 |
Free Will Fridays | Tom Johnson |
| August 23, 2021 |
God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero | Tommy Potentuary |
| July 18, 2021 |
Woman Steps Out Of The Woods And Changes A Life Forever | Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Public Notice: Bones Will Be Distributed Evenly | Tom Johnson |
| May 29, 2021 |
Hiccupper Quarantine Camps | Carl Mon |
| May 29, 2021 |
Parental Controls For The Eyeballs | Tom Johnson |
| March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero | The Mysterious M |
| February 9, 2021 |
Rates Of Self-immolation Skyrocket As Melon-man Hands Out Her Last Free Melon. | Micheal O’Really |
| February 9, 2021 |
Locals Be Advised: Harrison Honeycrisp | Aleister Frost |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| October 28, 2020 |
Sandcastle Sex Dolls Deemed Unhealthy | Tom Johnson |
| October 28, 2020 |
The City Of Jehovah | Mayor Pete Davidson |
| August 16, 2020 |
Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax | Cryptic Mark |
| July 26, 2020 |
Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
The Banjoman Stalks Amherst | Roberto Piccolo |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Unsolved Case: Hand Disembodiment On The Charles | Tom Johnson |
| February 29, 2020 |
Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work | Hockey Face |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Rabbit Hole Traps Halt Safety | Tom Johnson |
| December 6, 2019 |
Collegian Did Not Start Newsbox Fires | Tom Johnson |
| November 2, 2019 |
Newspaper Box Fires | Sherry Wolverton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Std Ray Gun Stolen | Ned Greebly |
| November 2, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Is Criminal, Police Do Nothing | Carl Mon |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Fate Of Hotdog Attack Victims | Carl Mon |
| October 5, 2019 |
Reality Supremacists Go Violent | Carl Mon |
| October 3, 2019 |
An Unexpected Source of Calm | Brendovic Leebac |
| October 3, 2019 |
PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers | Tom Johnson |
| September 26, 2019 |
Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston | Yellow Pete |
| June 17, 2019 |
Head of PIA Hotdogged | Carl Mon |
| May 21, 2019 |
Novelty Vandals Reconfigure West Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
| May 14, 2019 |
Metal Tree Erected Atop Mountain | Clarence Mon |
| April 16, 2019 |
Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap | Common Observer |
| March 11, 2019 |
Man Who Won't Stop Talking Caught, Applauded | Michael O’Really |
| March 7, 2019 |
Burp Rumbles Across Town | Clarence Mon |
| February 26, 2019 |
The Fall of The Former Martian Ambassador | The Purple Hermit |
| January 28, 2019 |
Accountant Missing: Have you seen Sally Gomez? | Maria Gonzales |
| December 19, 2018 |
Ongoing Offshoot of Liquid From Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Groundly Mouths | Carl Mon |
| November 19, 2018 |
Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large | Sax Tuba |
| October 5, 2018 |
Man Shows Vulnerability, Successfully Apprehended | Aleister Frost |
| September 29, 2018 |
Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 27, 2018 |
Police Chief Gonzales: Info Wanted on Traveler | The Editors |
| September 20, 2018 |
Questionable Hustle in Central Park: HUMAN ZOO | Tom Johnson |
| August 30, 2018 |
The Spot Director Kerm Fergus Goes Missing | Steve Hackwood |
| August 27, 2018 |
The Spot Movie Lands Big Movie in Hot Water Following Alleged Copycat Crimes | Steve Hackwood |
| August 18, 2018 |
Bigfeet Are Legal And A "Bigfoot Crusade" Is Out Of The Question | Maria Gonzales |
| August 16, 2018 |
The Feathered Travesty: One Naturalist's Thoughts On An Unnatural Matter | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 21, 2018 |
Escaped Roosters Wreak Havoc Downtown | Tom Johnson |
| July 21, 2018 |
Town Must Do Better | Chris Bascomb |
| May 30, 2018 |
Outlaw Killed Or Not | Megunticook Stevens |
| April 19, 2018 |
Arkansas Howler Arrested After Altercation With Neighbors | Roberto Piccolo |
| April 19, 2018 |
Who Really Stole The Spear Of Destiny? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| April 19, 2018 |
A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... | Tom Johnson |
| April 13, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 11, 2018 |
The Arkansas Howler Returns | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 11, 2018 |
Carnival Observed in The South | Cro Raka |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
Mail Truck Crash, Strong Impression on Witnesses | Patty Geortenhul |
| January 16, 2018 |
MONSTROSITY APPROACHING | Clarence Mon |
| December 12, 2017 |
Howler Howls His Last | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 4, 2017 |
A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts | J.D. |
| November 30, 2017 |
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants | Wes Sizemore |
| November 23, 2017 |
William Blanket Found Guilty of Existential Malpractice | J.D. |
| November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson | Praa Para |
| June 19, 2017 |
Splinter | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 26, 2017 |
A Visit From The Bird | Cro Raka |
| April 10, 2017 |
Large Idea Rotisserie Halts, The Unlegged Rise, The Sun Continues to Shine | Alfred Humbleton |
| March 6, 2017 |
Police Kidnapping Maybe Solved | Richard Jenkins |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
| February 1, 2017 |
Baby Squeezers Spotted, Walking Calmly, Sometimes Grimacing | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| January 31, 2017 |
The Man in the Crows Nest | Ralphie Warbler |