| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Drink Helium For Social Distancing | Craig Burroughs |
| December 12, 2021 |
What is compound neuronal exposure disease? | Doctor Cozma |
| December 12, 2021 |
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils | Medusa's Tendril |
| August 23, 2021 |
Picnic In The Sahara | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 23, 2021 |
Recommended Negative Vibe Quota | Milbod Hummmmmmmmm |
| August 23, 2021 |
2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign | Paul Kruger |
| July 18, 2021 |
Unusual Teaching Methods At Chiptooth Kindergarten | Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 18, 2021 |
Once People Walked Here, But Now Only A Few Do. | Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Have You Ever Experienced Something … So Bad | Vivian Mauve |
| May 29, 2021 |
Synchronicities As A Service | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 29, 2021 |
Hiccupper Quarantine Camps | Carl Mon |
| May 29, 2021 |
Are You A Markov Chain? Find Out Now And Get Help? | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Experience New Qualia At Electromagnet World! | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 9, 2021 |
A New Kind Of Hiccup | Carl Mon |
| April 9, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Sister Spirits In Old Churchyard? | Finnick Lightfoot |
| April 9, 2021 |
Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM | Zed Murky |
| December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker | Madame Madman |
| December 13, 2020 |
Be The Video Game Character You Always Dreamed Of | Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
The Resilience Of Pastrami Man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| September 23, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
| September 23, 2020 |
Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled | Vivian Mauve |
| September 23, 2020 |
Questions: Would you Rather? | Paul Krueger |
| September 23, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself | Jupiter |
| September 23, 2020 |
Inexperience Pilots Needed | * Advertisement * |
| August 16, 2020 |
Alan Partridge Returns With Advice | Alan Partridge |
| August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto | Leonid Chelmsford |
| May 12, 2020 |
Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines | Theodore Munnely |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead | Flip Gilligan |
| January 25, 2020 |
Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity | Cryptic Mark |
| December 24, 2019 |
Demon that Does Good Coming to Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Human Hair Salad: Is It Canabalism? | Derek Nussbaum |
| December 6, 2019 |
Is Happy Greens Vegetable Farm An Insidious Cult? | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| November 2, 2019 |
I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It | V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas |
| November 2, 2019 |
Island Has Confusing Experience | Unnamed Island |
| November 2, 2019 |
Tomlinson LLC Experiences Workplace Friction | BoobnBob |
| October 5, 2019 |
Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream | Ed Nucklebalm |
| October 4, 2019 |
The Film Critic's Homunculus | Ryan Cameron |
| October 3, 2019 |
Letter From The Foreign Dreams Correspondent | Alan Partridge |
| September 26, 2019 |
Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston | Yellow Pete |
| September 19, 2019 |
Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines | The Editors |
| August 30, 2019 |
A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES | Dernberger Spengleton |
| June 17, 2019 |
On Underground Electricity Canals | Theodore Munnely |
| June 17, 2019 |
Correspondence on Foreign Dreams | Alan Partridge |
| June 17, 2019 |
Logs of Earl Bristol Goddard Published | The Purple Hermit |
| May 21, 2019 |
CC: Hallucinations Wanted | Gustav |
| May 21, 2019 |
Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation | Ron Gutterston |
| May 13, 2019 |
Visions of Emerald Sea Sweep Amherst | The Editors |
| April 16, 2019 |
Buttler Collective Seeks Information on Hobbling Jelly Filler | BoobnBob |
| April 14, 2019 |
Deluxe Papa Vape Pods Hit Stores | Roberto Piccolo |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
| March 12, 2019 |
Take a Whiff of an Aroma Flick At The Aroma-Theatre Downtown Amherst | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 11, 2019 |
Man Who Won't Stop Talking Caught, Applauded | Michael O’Really |
| February 22, 2019 |
Local Student Finally Escapes Infinitely Looping Hallway, Angry He Missed Winter Break | Sax Tuba |
| February 21, 2019 |
A Secret Feast in Argentina | Cro Raka |
| February 20, 2019 |
Geese Departure Pushed Back Again | Leila |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Big Brass Bessie | The Editors |
| January 13, 2019 |
Psychoactive Noise Moths Do Not Affect Humans | Whaler S. Fishpole |
| December 19, 2018 |
"Beware The Tabun Needle" | Saul Smalls, with the help of an editor surviving the same illness |
| December 18, 2018 |
The Great Terrifier Returns to Campus | Cecelia Ceiling-Sealant |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| November 19, 2018 |
Teenager Looses Tooth Cigarette Jousting | Bernard Gigliotti |
| October 31, 2018 |
Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist | The Purple Hermit |
| October 20, 2018 |
Scale Replica of Amherst Discovered Miles Under Amherst | The Purple Hermit |
| October 15, 2018 |
The Surreal Three Split | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| October 7, 2018 |
Dodge Responsibilites with New Disassociex©! | Advertisement |
| September 3, 2018 |
Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment | Cryptic Mark |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 20, 2018 |
Craigslist Post Appears Offering Bicycle Day Deal | Common Observer |
| April 19, 2018 |
Government To Begin Investigation of The 'Shower Act' | Cryptic Mark |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
An Inspiring and Virtuous Tale Unfolds Before Our Eyes | Earnest |
| February 20, 2018 |
Interesting Trend Spreads Across South America | Cro Raka |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 8, 2018 |
Eyrie Eyrie House Hotel Is Recieving Guests Again | Cro Raka |
| February 8, 2018 |
Anonymous Tape Left At Journalist's Home | The Editors |
| January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column | Dennis Horizontal Hands |
| December 23, 2017 |
Response to that Lousy Chimp | Doctor Goldstein |
| November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? | Anonymous |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 26, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring an Assistant Weatherman | The Editors |
| September 23, 2017 |
More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry | Cro Raka |
| August 4, 2017 |
The Eclipse and A Call To Action | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| August 4, 2017 |
Call to action for the second coming | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| June 14, 2017 |
Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems | Clarence Mon |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
| February 2, 2017 |
A peculiar occurrence | Dernberger Spengleton |