| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
>Man Obscured By Tuba | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical? | Mike O'Really |
| August 23, 2021 |
Feed Your Brain Instead | The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man | The Inanimate Empathist |
| July 18, 2021 |
Unusual Teaching Methods At Chiptooth Kindergarten | Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 18, 2021 |
Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| July 18, 2021 |
Brave Dog Stops Home Intruder, Tortures Him In The Basement For 6 Months. | Micheal O'Really |
| July 18, 2021 |
Soldiers Required To Communicate Over Connection-based Protocol Tcp | Carl Mon |
| May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Under 5 List | Paul Kruger |
| May 29, 2021 |
Correction: Mathematicians On Mars | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Calcium And Nutrients | I know how you view my home. |
| April 9, 2021 |
Sister Spirits In Old Churchyard? | Finnick Lightfoot |
| April 9, 2021 |
Conversions Overheard Vol. 3: Gulled One Sighting. | Ophelia Jones |
| March 12, 2021 |
Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure | Bartholomew Bax |
| March 12, 2021 |
Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Capsoul: Color Your Life | Advertisement |
| March 12, 2021 |
Buddha Beans: Hemp Infused Coffee | Advertisement |
| March 12, 2021 |
Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Healthy Man | Bartholomew Bax |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Poem By ZZZ: The Lighthouse | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 9, 2021 |
Federal Reserve To Lower Global Brain Coefficient | Aldus Humbleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art | Jupiter |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| December 13, 2020 |
Protests Against Turkey In Space | Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 23, 2020 |
In Troubled Times, Skatebirder Spreads Calm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 16, 2020 |
Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax | Cryptic Mark |
| August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto | Leonid Chelmsford |
| July 21, 2020 |
Account: Hand Sanitizing Vigilantism Saves the World | Carl Mon |
| May 12, 2020 |
Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines | Theodore Munnely |
| May 7, 2020 |
Genetics For Hire | Doctor Rotcod |
| May 5, 2020 |
Conversations Overheard: Lobster Mac & Cheese | Phillis "Psychic Philip" Phillips |
| May 5, 2020 |
How "Toxic" By Britney Spears Saved Humankind From Destruction | Flip Gilligan |
| April 23, 2020 |
Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats | Tom Johnson |
| March 1, 2020 |
Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dumpster Squids Migrate To Mud Puddles | A Concerned Citizen |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Human Hair Salad: Is It Canabalism? | Derek Nussbaum |
| December 6, 2019 |
An Ancient Graveyard | Alan Partridge |
| December 6, 2019 |
Elites Hoard Hair Anywhere Spray | Whaler S. Fishpole |
| December 6, 2019 |
Continued Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull | Graham Rapier |
| December 6, 2019 |
PIA Defeated By The Reality Supremacists | Carl Mon |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
| December 6, 2019 |
Culture Corner: Fiddler On The Roof Opens This Thursday | Ridley Stump |
| December 6, 2019 |
Rabbit Hole Traps Halt Safety | Tom Johnson |
| November 2, 2019 |
I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It | V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas |
| November 2, 2019 |
Std Ray Gun Stolen | Ned Greebly |
| November 2, 2019 |
Television Host Ambivalent About His Job | Anonymous |
| November 2, 2019 |
Droids Invade Love | Dr. Harold S. Pirog |
| November 2, 2019 |
Hypercube Confessions And The Future | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Carousel Of Unending Happiness Vii | Ophelia Jones |
| October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest | Shock Johnson |
| October 3, 2019 |
Gulled One Quiet No More | The Gulled One |
| June 17, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show | Common Observer |
| June 17, 2019 |
Correspondence on Foreign Dreams | Alan Partridge |
| June 16, 2019 |
Advanced Carnival Will Do Extraordinary Things | Fechy Honcon |
| May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto | Eddie Octo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation | Ron Gutterston |
| May 21, 2019 |
Encounters of the Tweener Trinketeer Date Back to Early 70s | Melanie Richardson |
| April 16, 2019 |
Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali | Hank T. Joseph |
| April 16, 2019 |
Hot New Place to Live: Centralia Pennsylvania | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 16, 2019 |
Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy | The Mad Shark |
| April 16, 2019 |
The Weight of The Job and Who it Weighs On | Graham Rapier |
| April 16, 2019 |
Mutual Hallucination Vape Pod: Enter the Cave | Advertisement |
| April 16, 2019 |
Buttler Collective Seeks Information on Hobbling Jelly Filler | BoobnBob |
| March 13, 2019 |
Account: I feed Myself to Myself | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 11, 2019 |
Mouth of Pig Discovered in Roadside Soup | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 21, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness Just Around a Corner And Under Your Nose | Advertisement |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Agatha Pendleton | The Pendleton Family |
| January 17, 2019 |
Mound of Mixed Greens Appears in Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
| January 9, 2019 |
Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 8, 2019 |
Man Boasts Castle About Which World Rotates | “The oracle to which the world delivers its specimens” |
| December 27, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Banned Across the Pioneer Valley | Tom Johnson |
| December 22, 2018 |
La Paz: City of Blue and Gold | Cro Raka |
| December 19, 2018 |
Ongoing Offshoot of Liquid From Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Groundly Mouths | Carl Mon |
| December 18, 2018 |
Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life | Youbus Leeftim |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 11, 2018 |
My Visit With The Fugitive | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| November 18, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Rainbow Colors! | Tommy Potentuary |
| November 13, 2018 |
"Cigarette Jousting" -- A Danger To Our Youth | Rebecca Winston |
| October 9, 2018 |
The Martians Are Here, and it is Glorious | The Purple Hermit |
| September 25, 2018 |
An Overview of Surreality, Surreality Exposure, and Hyper-Mundanity | The Editors |
| August 11, 2018 |
The Tree Folk Under Pressure: A New Member Raises Tension | Roberto Piccolo |
| June 19, 2018 |
Union of the Clouds Zilches Borders | Clarence Mon |
| June 18, 2018 |
The Mad Cartographer, We Should Hear Him Out | Pablo Little |
| June 18, 2018 |
The Mad Cartographer Threatens our City | George S. Halfly |
| May 30, 2018 |
The Octo Report: "Collision Festival" Takes Off | Eddie Octo |
| May 30, 2018 |
Realm Of Ideas Narrows | Alfred Humbleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
We Can All Take A Hint From This Sandwich Anarchy | Pablo Little |
| April 19, 2018 |
Sightings Of Doppelgangers In The South | Cro Raka |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Problematic Advertisements Plague Amherst | Common Observer |
| March 15, 2018 |
Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
The Balloon: Part 2 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
Burgowittz Resigns | The Editors |
| February 20, 2018 |
Interesting Trend Spreads Across South America | Cro Raka |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 22, 2018 |
Goose Gingertop Deployed | Jang Ben |
| January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column | Dennis Horizontal Hands |
| November 28, 2017 |
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 27, 2017 |
My Search For Enlightenment in these Forsaken Times | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| October 26, 2017 |
Stolen Gurgleer | Clarence Mon |
| July 5, 2017 |
Dragonflies, Mind Control, Polar Bears & Oil | Clarence Mon |
| March 21, 2017 |
The Zebra Convention Unfolds | Armadeius Galouei |
| March 3, 2017 |
Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen | Cro Raka |
| March 2, 2017 |
ZZZ PUTS WORDS TO SPENGLETON'S CURVES | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
| February 1, 2017 |
NERB SPEAKS | Common Observer |
| February 1, 2017 |
Slam your head against the wall | William Howard |
| January 31, 2017 |
An Explanation | Doctor Goldstein |