| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Power outage causes slow motion | Tom Johnson |
| December 12, 2021 |
Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 23, 2021 |
Legal Question | Vladimir |
| August 23, 2021 |
Feed Your Brain Instead | The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
Top 10 Lines To Guarantee Getting A Third Date | Big Mama Terrible |
| May 29, 2021 |
Top 10 Facts About Alligators | Big Daddy Terrible |
| May 29, 2021 |
Parental Controls For The Eyeballs | Tom Johnson |
| April 9, 2021 |
Meese Herds Return To Home In Sw Ontario. | Ellie Zandt-Balmer |
| April 9, 2021 |
Help! I've Been Kidnapped And Forced To Listen To The Mars Volta | Flip Gilligan |
| March 12, 2021 |
Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure | Bartholomew Bax |
| March 12, 2021 |
Plants With Teeth Strike Fear In Angelinos | Carl Mon |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Mouth Roomba - Newest Dental Invention | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 12, 2021 |
Task Tony Helps Belen Find Love | Tony Pepperoni |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Octopus Saga: How I Ate A Live Octopus And Formed A Bond With It | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Amadeus Huntington, The Plant Destroyer | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free | The Gulled One |
| February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Ufos Spark Momentary Cult | Carl Mon |
| February 8, 2021 |
Blow To Head Changes Ball Player’s Life Forever | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art | Jupiter |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Truth Behind Turkey | Joaquin |
| December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker | Madame Madman |
| December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots | Carl Mon |
| October 28, 2020 |
Bunny Rabbit Rave Hero | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
The Resilience Of Pastrami Man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Tender Moment | Engelbert Humperdinck |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Plea For Help From The Planet Of Dearth | John Doe |
| October 28, 2020 |
10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records | Flip Gilligan |
| September 23, 2020 |
Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled | Vivian Mauve |
| September 23, 2020 |
Luxury Space Lake Open for Family Fun | Tommy Potentuary |
| July 26, 2020 |
Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday | Tommy Potentuary |
| July 12, 2020 |
Third Eye's Brew | Murry Eyeball |
| May 17, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| May 17, 2020 |
Wife Dressed Up As Stray Anteater Surprised as Husband Shows Potential for Pet Care | Maaye Pujhol |
| May 7, 2020 |
Woman Uses Eyeballs as Toys | Common Observer |
| April 23, 2020 |
Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats | Tom Johnson |
| March 1, 2020 |
Discovery Of Junkyard Jukebox: Orchestrion Of Dreams | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead | Flip Gilligan |
| January 25, 2020 |
Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned | Vivian Mauve |
| December 24, 2019 |
Demon that Does Good Coming to Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
| December 6, 2019 |
Ball Players Disciplined | Sherry Wolverton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Builders Leave Backdoors for Tyranical Ants | Carl Mon |
| November 2, 2019 |
Slimeball Secretes When Scared | FunkFreakFrank |
| November 2, 2019 |
Strange Entity In The Woods Out West Can Send You To A Peaceful Place But You Won’t Ever Return | V. Mauve |
| November 2, 2019 |
Newspaper Box Fires | Sherry Wolverton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Blue Alien Petting Zoo Coming To Amherst | Charlie Tomquat |
| November 2, 2019 |
Tomlinson LLC Experiences Workplace Friction | BoobnBob |
| November 2, 2019 |
Demand: Show Me The Face Of Wisdom | Hank T. Joseph |
| October 5, 2019 |
Basketball Game Turns Into Cooking Game Show | Boobnbob |
| September 4, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: "I'm a Formless Ball of Light, and I don't want my boyfriend to know." | Jupiter |
| June 17, 2019 |
Blue Wall: Blown to Bits | Rio Calais |
| June 17, 2019 |
Head of PIA Hotdogged | Carl Mon |
| June 17, 2019 |
Sunderland Mound Growing | Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
Top 13 Ball Moments | Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carousel of Unending Happiness Lies In The Home of The Walking Dead | Charleigh Clark |
| June 16, 2019 |
Account: Victim of Crows | Tom Johnson |
| June 16, 2019 |
Eyeball Juice Stand A Success | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 21, 2019 |
Occultist Ball Graveyard Growing Rapidly | Sherry Wolverton |
| May 21, 2019 |
A Note on Some People I Met During a Year Spent As Surreal Times Interesting Person Contact | Charleigh Clark |
| May 21, 2019 |
Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation | Ron Gutterston |
| May 21, 2019 |
She's in the Carousel of Unending Happiness Now | Your RingMaster |
| May 21, 2019 |
My Name is Mr. Terrible And I Just Like to Sneak Around | Mr. Terrible |
| May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 16, 2019 |
Have You Seen The Balloon With Teeth | Melanie Richardson |
| April 12, 2019 |
Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords | William (Bill) Gumby |
| March 24, 2019 |
Journalist's Life Partner Goes Missing | Tom Johnson |
| February 20, 2019 |
A Study in Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
| February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky | Tommy Potentuary |
| January 9, 2019 |
Peripheral Intelligence Agency Opens A New Office In NYC | Clarence Mon |
| January 9, 2019 |
Join Our Cause | The Editors |
| January 9, 2019 |
We Have Been Given Quandaries | Tevobet Nope |
| December 11, 2018 |
My Visit With The Fugitive | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 3, 2018 |
May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2018 |
Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident | The Purple Hermit |
| November 26, 2018 |
Random Act of Apathy | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 26, 2018 |
Recipe for Alphabet Soup | The Editors |
| November 22, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Graffiti Scoundrels Run Rampant | Tom Johnson |
| September 27, 2018 |
Police Chief Gonzales: Info Wanted on Traveler | The Editors |
| August 23, 2018 |
"The Spot" Breaks Box Office Records, Becoming the Most Profitable Movie in History | Steve Hackwood |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 1, 2018 |
Terrible Assault on General Consciousness | Tiggy Sintrupuli |
| May 30, 2018 |
Internship Position Opens | Management |
| May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Cloud Anchor Proposed, P.I.A. Investigating | Clarence Mon |
| March 15, 2018 |
Problematic Advertisements Plague Amherst | Common Observer |
| March 15, 2018 |
The Balloon: Part 2 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| March 11, 2018 |
Hotline Hotline Prototype Released | Tommy Potentuary |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| February 20, 2018 |
Norwottuck Rail Trail to be Extended | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 22, 2018 |
Goose Gingertop Deployed | Jang Ben |
| December 31, 2017 |
Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade | Alfred Humbleton |
| December 23, 2017 |
A Call to Writers | The Editors |
| November 20, 2017 |
Local Boys Learns Not To Lie | Cro Raka |
| November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson | Praa Para |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 27, 2017 |
My Search For Enlightenment in these Forsaken Times | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| October 26, 2017 |
Stolen Gurgleer | Clarence Mon |
| October 15, 2017 |
UMass Football Goes Gorillas | Wes Sizemore |
| October 3, 2017 |
Call For Writers | The Editors |
| September 26, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring an Assistant Weatherman | The Editors |
| September 4, 2017 |
Sermon #4 - Our Great Final Neglect | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| August 10, 2017 |
Hungry Parakeet Scandal | Common Observer |
| July 11, 2017 |
Routine interaction in NYC | Jessem Ichel |
| May 19, 2017 |
A Quick Rewind | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 25, 2017 |
LOW-TEMP VOLCANO ERUPTS | Earnest |
| April 1, 2017 |
Anarchy Among Our Youth! | Clarence Mon |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
| February 2, 2017 |
Running in circles? | Alfred Humbleton |
| February 1, 2017 |
NERB SPEAKS | Common Observer |
| February 1, 2017 |
A Most Bizarre Questionnaire | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 1, 2017 |
OPEN QUESTIONS REGARDING THE DYNAMICS OF BALLOONS | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 1, 2017 |
Botany can really Ruffle Feathers | Armädeius Galouei |
| January 31, 2017 |
An Explanation | Doctor Goldstein |
| January 31, 2017 |
ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE RECRUITMENT OF NEW WRITERS | The Editors |
| January 31, 2017 |
MAN SQUASHED BY METEORITE | The Editors |