| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Local Business Tries Out Causal Fridays | Johnathan Delsignore |
| August 23, 2021 |
Legal Question | Vladimir |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Completed Observations Of An Oatmeal Beard On A Bus. | Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| July 18, 2021 |
Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Message From An Ant Stuck In An Ant Farm | Ant |
| April 9, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Octopus Saga: How I Ate A Live Octopus And Formed A Bond With It | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Buddha Beans: Hemp Infused Coffee | Advertisement |
| February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM | Zed Murky |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Hot Bath | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Open Letter To My Past Self | Name Withheld Due To Safety |
| February 9, 2021 |
Costco Burns To The Ground, Destroying Thousands Of Free Samples | Mike Hanson |
| February 9, 2021 |
Free Respawn Service Offered Downtown | Tommy Potentuary |
| February 8, 2021 |
Dentist Starves After Robot Teeth Steal Food | Tom Johnson |
| December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Account: Observations of An Oatmeal Beard on a Bus | Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Tragedy Of Bug-no-pain-man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker | Madame Madman |
| October 28, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| October 28, 2020 |
New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
“Happy App” Bug Gone Wild | Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
Monkey Phrases Come To Life | Adam Stein |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Tender Moment | Engelbert Humperdinck |
| August 16, 2020 |
WHERE DID PAST MATT HIDE MY CIGARETTES? | Future Matt |
| August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto | Leonid Chelmsford |
| May 17, 2020 |
Bird Funeral, At Least You Know, A Public Notary | The Gulled One |
| May 12, 2020 |
Fleeting Touches on Other's Lives | Songsinger |
| May 7, 2020 |
Time Travel Candy for Curious Tongues | Margaretta Fleese |
| May 7, 2020 |
Letter to the Editor: I am Hiding Future Matt's Ciggarettes | Past Matt |
| May 5, 2020 |
Jim Morrison Support Group Meeting Cancelled | Surreal Times News Team |
| April 24, 2020 |
Local Crackpot Offers Contact-Free Mutterings | Surreal Times News Team |
| March 1, 2020 |
Slug Delivery Not Controversial | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
“Pimp My Brain” Will Blow Your Mind | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: A Confession | Casaul Lucada |
| March 1, 2020 |
Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery | Freak Funk Frank |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Biological Father Is Abraham Lincoln | Jupiter |
| February 29, 2020 |
Book Review: Voldemort Goes To Hawaii | Professor Nutmeg |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
| February 29, 2020 |
Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work | Hockey Face |
| January 25, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| January 25, 2020 |
Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned | Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
Closet Man Report | Delana (DelTaco) Fausett |
| January 25, 2020 |
Explosive Feast At The Gin Mill | Common Observer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Account: Misinterpretation Of Signs | Bresson Frank |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Sanctuary Animals Uploaded To The Realm Of Ideas | Aldus Humbleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Inanimate Empathist Breaking And Entering | Tom Johnson |
| November 2, 2019 |
Shoe Communication For My Fellow Shyfolk! | ShyGuy |
| November 2, 2019 |
Placenta And Loneliness, At Least For Now | The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
How I Transitioned Into A New Form | Anew Nema |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Missive To The Editors Of The Surreal Times | Alan Partridge |
| October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest | Shock Johnson |
| October 5, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness | Your RingMaster |
| October 5, 2019 |
Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream | Ed Nucklebalm |
| October 3, 2019 |
Geographic Oddity Between The Stans | George The Geographer |
| June 17, 2019 |
Alien Farmers Market in my Backyard | Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Designer Birth Control on The Rise | Tommy Potentuary |
| June 17, 2019 |
Correspondence on Foreign Dreams | Alan Partridge |
| June 17, 2019 |
Head of PIA Hotdogged | Carl Mon |
| June 17, 2019 |
Top 13 Ball Moments | Sherry Wolverton |
| June 16, 2019 |
Eyeball Juice Stand A Success | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto | Eddie Octo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Resigns Post | Clarence Mon |
| May 21, 2019 |
Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation | Ron Gutterston |
| May 15, 2019 |
The Story of Time | Cryptic Mark |
| May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 20, 2019 |
Eddie: The Octopus Stings | Luap Killner |
| April 16, 2019 |
Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali | Hank T. Joseph |
| March 13, 2019 |
Account: I feed Myself to Myself | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 11, 2019 |
Profile: The Student Farm's Newest Caretaker | The Purple Hermit |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy | The People With Repetitive Names Society |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Agatha Pendleton | The Pendleton Family |
| January 22, 2019 |
Bill "Nerb" Elsasser to Sue Town For Killing Flowers | Common Observer |
| January 17, 2019 |
Mound of Mixed Greens Appears in Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
| January 9, 2019 |
We Have Been Given Quandaries | Tevobet Nope |
| December 18, 2018 |
Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life | Youbus Leeftim |
| December 16, 2018 |
"Force-field" Surrounds Isenberg Campus | The Purple Hermit |
| December 12, 2018 |
Former Arms Dealer Assassinated | Roberto Piccolo |
| December 10, 2018 |
Landscaping Companies On Call For Hair Anywhere Spray Emergencies | Tom Johnson |
| December 3, 2018 |
May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2018 |
Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident | The Purple Hermit |
| November 15, 2018 |
Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms | The Purple Hermit |
| October 31, 2018 |
Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist | The Purple Hermit |
| October 24, 2018 |
Hoards of Stolen Personal Diaries Found in Tent in Forest | Clarence Mon |
| October 5, 2018 |
Man Shows Vulnerability, Successfully Apprehended | Aleister Frost |
| October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 3, 2018 |
His Name Is Mr. Terrible and He Just Likes to Sneak Around | Ron Gutterston |
| September 29, 2018 |
Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 3, 2018 |
Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment | Cryptic Mark |
| August 30, 2018 |
The Spot Director Kerm Fergus Goes Missing | Steve Hackwood |
| August 16, 2018 |
The Feathered Travesty: One Naturalist's Thoughts On An Unnatural Matter | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Surreal Enforcement Agency Is Formed | The Editors |
| August 8, 2018 |
Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| August 2, 2018 |
Hope of Interplanetary Cordiality Extinguished | Ron Gutterston |
| July 31, 2018 |
Realm of Ideas Collapses Momentarily, Conveys Particular Idea | Alfred Humbleton |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 29, 2018 |
In Wake of Cockfighting Bust, Roosters Euthanized | Tom Johnson |
| July 25, 2018 |
The Fate of The Cockfighting Roosters | Tom Johnson |
| July 21, 2018 |
Escaped Roosters Wreak Havoc Downtown | Tom Johnson |
| July 1, 2018 |
Fighting Creatures Are Not Terrestrial | Alfred Humbleton |
| July 1, 2018 |
Cockfighting Bust in Northampton | Tom Johnson |
| May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Newspaper Spawns Subsidiary Adventure Capital Firm | The Editors |
| March 15, 2018 |
Possibilities Involving Outlets | Wes Sizemore |
| March 11, 2018 |
Head of Atonal Music Appreciation Club Silently Outed | Common Observer |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 25, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail & House of Corrections Re-Opens | Common Observer |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 16, 2018 |
MONSTROSITY APPROACHING | Clarence Mon |
| November 30, 2017 |
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants | Wes Sizemore |
| November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? | Anonymous |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
| November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson | Praa Para |
| November 2, 2017 |
Local Boy Falls Into iPhone, Loses Thumb | J.D. |
| October 3, 2017 |
Let's Talk About This Whole Human Thing | Chimpanzee Joe |
| March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th | Hank T. Joseph |
| March 17, 2017 |
Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 27, 2017 |
Zulu Z. Zulu's travels: NYC Bussed Tour | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
| February 2, 2017 |
Running in circles? | Alfred Humbleton |
| February 1, 2017 |
Political Update: Jeb Bush cruises to victory. | Josh Matteo |
| February 1, 2017 |
RADICALS GO VIOLENT | Undercarriage Roth |
| February 1, 2017 |
Botany can really Ruffle Feathers | Armädeius Galouei |
| January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 31, 2017 |
ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE RECRUITMENT OF NEW WRITERS | The Editors |