| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| August 23, 2021 |
2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign | Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man | The Inanimate Empathist |
| August 23, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Year Anniversary Bash | The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! | The Mysterious M |
| May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times Joins The New York Times | The Editors |
| May 29, 2021 |
Ant Joins Surrealist Journalism Team | The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
Surreal Times Aquired By The Argonaut | The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 9, 2021 |
Letter To The Editor | Doctor Goldstein |
| April 9, 2021 |
Max On The Street: Repeated Exchanging Of Burritos In Cambridge | Max R. Normalman |
| April 9, 2021 |
New Distribution Station In Bombay Beach | The Editors |
| March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero | The Mysterious M |
| March 12, 2021 |
A View Into A Vietnamese Apartment | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| March 12, 2021 |
Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free | The Gulled One |
| February 9, 2021 |
Rates Of Self-immolation Skyrocket As Melon-man Hands Out Her Last Free Melon. | Micheal O’Really |
| February 9, 2021 |
News Pirates Hijack Distribution Box | Times Staff |
| February 8, 2021 |
Those With Single Personalities To Receive Free Personality Multiplexing Therapy | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Nation Unites In Anti-vampire Movement | Bartholomew Bax |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| December 13, 2020 |
Easy Alternative Diet Will Help You Lose Weight | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
Interview With Belinda Burger, The "Googly Eyes" Artist | The Mysterious M |
| October 28, 2020 |
10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records | Flip Gilligan |
| July 26, 2020 |
Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday | Tommy Potentuary |
| July 21, 2020 |
Account: Hand Sanitizing Vigilantism Saves the World | Carl Mon |
| May 27, 2020 |
Live News Broadcast | The Editors |
| May 5, 2020 |
Blargo is Back | Billy Nodges |
| May 5, 2020 |
Jim Morrison Support Group Meeting Cancelled | Surreal Times News Team |
| April 26, 2020 |
A New Generation Of Media | Surreal Times News Team |
| April 24, 2020 |
Local Crackpot Offers Contact-Free Mutterings | Surreal Times News Team |
| March 12, 2020 |
The Occation Event and other Events | The Editors |
| March 4, 2020 |
Events Listings | The Editors |
| March 1, 2020 |
Slug Delivery Not Controversial | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
#savecrabs Movement Sweeping The Country | Paul Kruger |
| March 1, 2020 |
The Banjoman Stalks Amherst | Roberto Piccolo |
| March 1, 2020 |
The Tree Folk Will Stop The Banjoman Menace | By Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko |
| March 1, 2020 |
Quiet Mortimer: I Will Cut The Banjomans Strings | quiet mortimer |
| March 1, 2020 |
“Pimp My Brain” Will Blow Your Mind | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery | Freak Funk Frank |
| March 1, 2020 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
| March 1, 2020 |
Discovery Of Junkyard Jukebox: Orchestrion Of Dreams | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dumpster Squids Migrate To Mud Puddles | A Concerned Citizen |
| February 29, 2020 |
Piety: A Review | Cryptic Mark |
| February 29, 2020 |
Salvation Of Gleez Mission Fails Due To Problematic Greg | Kangarth Jragzip |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Unsolved Case: Hand Disembodiment On The Charles | Tom Johnson |
| January 25, 2020 |
Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: I Warn You: I Watch You And Your Ideas | Earth Cow |
| January 25, 2020 |
Collective Cattle Consciousness Claps Carnivores | Aldus Humbleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Closet Man Report | Delana (DelTaco) Fausett |
| January 25, 2020 |
Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity | Cryptic Mark |
| January 25, 2020 |
Explosive Feast At The Gin Mill | Common Observer |
| January 3, 2020 |
Surreal Times Now Offering Newspaper Delivery | The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Weather Report | Cro Raka |
| December 6, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
| December 6, 2019 |
Surrealist Media Organizations Join Forces | The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Collegian Did Not Start Newsbox Fires | Tom Johnson |
| December 6, 2019 |
Ball Players Disciplined | Sherry Wolverton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Newspaper Box Fires | Sherry Wolverton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
| October 23, 2019 |
Kindergaten Learning Shines Like The Sun | Mrs Porter |
| October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest | Shock Johnson |
| October 15, 2019 |
Fire Breathing Lizards Hatch In Allston | M. Mumford |
| October 5, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness | Your RingMaster |
| October 5, 2019 |
Writer Glitches STD Ray Gun | Ned Greebly |
| October 4, 2019 |
Intelligent Life Destroying Itself | Ferdinand Maxwell |
| September 19, 2019 |
Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines | The Editors |
| June 17, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
| May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto | Eddie Octo |
| May 21, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow: As The Humans By The Pond Stalk, With The Tiny People I Will Talk | Roberto Piccolo |
| May 13, 2019 |
Mission Statement | The Editors |
| May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 20, 2019 |
Eddie: The Octopus Stings | Luap Killner |
| April 16, 2019 |
Pop Magazine Pivots Focus Away from The Animate | BoobnBob |
| April 16, 2019 |
Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap | Common Observer |
| April 16, 2019 |
Interview With NASA Computer Scientist | The Purple Hermit |
| March 13, 2019 |
Website Down, People Deprived of News | Armädeius Galouei |
| March 11, 2019 |
Mouth of Pig Discovered in Roadside Soup | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 18, 2019 |
Humpty: Retold And Reborn | Anonymous |
| February 16, 2019 |
Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant | The Purple Hermit |
| February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky | Tommy Potentuary |
| January 28, 2019 |
Linda Peterson Freed: How Will She Redeem Herself? | Dr. Linda Peterson |
| January 28, 2019 |
Accountant Missing: Have you seen Sally Gomez? | Maria Gonzales |
| January 28, 2019 |
Rogue Woman Returns: "The Deadly Touch Tarantula | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 23, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Leaves Jail Under Care of Lover | Clarence Mon |
| January 4, 2019 |
Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko: "YOU ARE ON NOTICE, SURREAL TIMES" | Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko |
| January 4, 2019 |
Letter to the Editor: Who is Dorf? | George S. Halfly |
| January 4, 2019 |
The Process Complete: R. Bottleby Gains Vague Telepathic Foresight | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 30, 2018 |
Chimp Joe Found in Midst of Noise Moth Binge | Tom Johnson |
| December 30, 2018 |
An Attempt on Dr. Linda Peterson's Life | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 18, 2018 |
Chimpanzee Joe Missing | Tom Johnson |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| November 26, 2018 |
The Monks Speak: The Mysterious Man | Roberto Piccolo |
| November 18, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Rainbow Colors! | Tommy Potentuary |
| November 15, 2018 |
Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms | The Purple Hermit |
| November 14, 2018 |
Wanted: Time Machine | "Lucky" Pete Sanchez |
| October 25, 2018 |
A New Stage of The Problem of The Upper Half Of The Man Cut into Two By A Window | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 15, 2018 |
I Did Not Give The Surreal Five The Thirteen-Second Frequency | Juan Ramirez |
| October 10, 2018 |
Mikey Reviews: Woke Foods Inc. - New “Conspiracy” Themed Family Restaurant | Mikey McCall |
| October 4, 2018 |
New Research Out of The University of Dortmund | The Editors |
| September 18, 2018 |
H-33 Explained | Eddie Octo |
| August 22, 2018 |
PSA From The Editors | The Editors |
| August 17, 2018 |
Let Them Search | Pablo Little |
| August 15, 2018 |
Eddie Octo Achieves Surreal Engineering Masters Degree | The Editors |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Mechanical Chum: Thoughts On Our New Metal Friend | Eddie Octo |
| August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow Is A Mormon Communist Spook | John Short |
| August 8, 2018 |
Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| August 6, 2018 |
Brave Help Wanted for Dangerous, Vital Work | Maximillian C. Ramped |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 29, 2018 |
In Wake of Cockfighting Bust, Roosters Euthanized | Tom Johnson |
| July 28, 2018 |
We Ought To Learn From And Care For The Birds of Ravenwold | Ron Gutterston |
| July 25, 2018 |
The Fate of The Cockfighting Roosters | Tom Johnson |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| July 11, 2018 |
Baron of Bullets: I Have The Ultimate Weapon | Marcus Van Door |
| July 1, 2018 |
Fighting Creatures Are Not Terrestrial | Alfred Humbleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Outlaw Killed Or Not | Megunticook Stevens |
| May 30, 2018 |
Silence That Pretentious Octopus | Chimpanzee Joe |
| May 30, 2018 |
Newspaper Spawns Subsidiary Adventure Capital Firm | The Editors |
| April 19, 2018 |
Sightings Of Doppelgangers In The South | Cro Raka |
| April 19, 2018 |
Writer Criticism | Phantom Framer |
| March 11, 2018 |
Piece of Surreal Engine Found Near Fault Line, Becomes Prize | Dr. Dan Nibbler |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 8, 2018 |
Anonymous Tape Left At Journalist's Home | The Editors |
| January 17, 2018 |
Accountant Wanted | Jonathan Smith Johnson |
| December 31, 2017 |
Breaking News: Hordes Gather At San Andreas Fault Line | The Editors |
| December 23, 2017 |
Wisdom From Archeology Worm | Professor Burgowittz |
| December 4, 2017 |
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? | Anonymous |
| October 15, 2017 |
UMass Football Goes Gorillas | Wes Sizemore |
| September 26, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring an Assistant Weatherman | The Editors |
| September 23, 2017 |
More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry | Cro Raka |
| September 13, 2017 |
Surreal Newsroom on 9/14/2017 | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 7, 2017 |
Earthwater Entities Mount Escape to Calm | Alfred Humbleton |
| September 6, 2017 |
Come to the Inaugural Surreal Newsroom | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 10, 2017 |
Hungry Parakeet Scandal | Common Observer |
| July 27, 2017 |
U.S. Scientists Edit Embryo DNA | Professor Burgowittz |
| June 14, 2017 |
Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems | Clarence Mon |
| April 25, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring! | The Editors |
| March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th | Hank T. Joseph |
| March 3, 2017 |
Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen | Cro Raka |
| March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 2, 2017 |
BURGOWITTZ FOOLISH, UNWISE | Jameson Eldar |
| February 2, 2017 |
SPENGLETON RELEASES NEW BOOK | Mumphurd Tongs |
| February 2, 2017 |
NEW ART GALLERY OPENING | The Editors |
| February 2, 2017 |
... Write for The Times! | The Editors |
| February 1, 2017 |
AN UPDATE ON SOUTH WORCESTER | Clarence Mon |
| January 31, 2017 |
Wanna write? | The Editors |