| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012 | Rio Calais |
| December 12, 2021 |
Column: Pleakley's Afternoon | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| December 12, 2021 |
>Man Obscured By Tuba | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Facebook Subsidizing relocation to their simulated world | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 12, 2021 |
Holyman Summons A Party | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons? | Spookas Ghoulgen |
| December 12, 2021 |
Stuck in a bug | Vidya |
| December 12, 2021 |
Free Will Fridays | Tom Johnson |
| December 12, 2021 |
What is compound neuronal exposure disease? | Doctor Cozma |
| December 12, 2021 |
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils | Medusa's Tendril |
| August 23, 2021 |
Mourning Breath | The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Opinion: Animal Testing Is Wrong, Use Furries Instead | Dr. Mormonius Rex |
| August 23, 2021 |
God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero | Tommy Potentuary |
| August 23, 2021 |
Recommended Negative Vibe Quota | Milbod Hummmmmmmmm |
| August 23, 2021 |
New Study Suggests This Is All A 4th Grader’s Fever Dream | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| August 23, 2021 |
Monkey Tilt Laws | Tom Johnson |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man | The Inanimate Empathist |
| August 23, 2021 |
Simulation Hackday | Theodore Munnely |
| July 18, 2021 |
Woman Steps Out Of The Woods And Changes A Life Forever | Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Surreal Times Bottom Five Under Five. | The Editors |
| July 18, 2021 |
Once People Walked Here, But Now Only A Few Do. | Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| July 18, 2021 |
Add A Lockaway Room To Your Home | Tommy Potentuary |
| July 18, 2021 |
Brave Dog Stops Home Intruder, Tortures Him In The Basement For 6 Months. | Micheal O'Really |
| July 18, 2021 |
Dear Jupiter: My Tongue Has Become A Snake! | Jupiter |
| July 18, 2021 |
Have You Ever Experienced Something … So Bad | Vivian Mauve |
| May 29, 2021 |
Synchronicities As A Service | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 29, 2021 |
Reminder: Your Rights As A Dimension 3 Biped | Aldus Humbleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Top 10 Facts About Alligators | Big Daddy Terrible |
| May 29, 2021 |
Legal Notice | STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
| May 29, 2021 |
Presidential Orgy Designed To Find Future Moon King | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 29, 2021 |
Ant Joins Surrealist Journalism Team | The Editors |
| May 29, 2021 |
Parental Controls For The Eyeballs | Tom Johnson |
| April 9, 2021 |
Mathematicians On Mars | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Max On The Street: Repeated Exchanging Of Burritos In Cambridge | Max R. Normalman |
| April 9, 2021 |
Man Convicted Of Crime Against Humanity | Bartholomew Bax |
| April 9, 2021 |
Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining | Paul Kruger |
| April 9, 2021 |
Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure | Bartholomew Bax |
| March 12, 2021 |
Legal Notice | STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Mouth Roomba - Newest Dental Invention | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 12, 2021 |
The Octopus Saga: How I Ate A Live Octopus And Formed A Bond With It | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Capsoul: Color Your Life | Advertisement |
| March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero | The Mysterious M |
| March 12, 2021 |
Amadeus Huntington, The Plant Destroyer | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Healthy Man | Bartholomew Bax |
| February 9, 2021 |
Why I Became A Lizard | Lucard Haugauna |
| February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Man Sneezes; Gets Blessed By Jesus Christ | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Costco Burns To The Ground, Destroying Thousands Of Free Samples | Mike Hanson |
| February 9, 2021 |
Ufos Spark Momentary Cult | Carl Mon |
| February 8, 2021 |
Reality Supremacist Operatives Outed From Congress | Carl Mon |
| February 8, 2021 |
Blow To Head Changes Ball Player’s Life Forever | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art | Jupiter |
| December 13, 2020 |
Discovering My Sexy Alien Popstar Alter Ego | Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Tragedy Of Bug-no-pain-man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 13, 2020 |
Aldus Presents: Unperiodic Reminder | Aldus Humbleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Easy Alternative Diet Will Help You Lose Weight | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots | Carl Mon |
| December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Be The Video Game Character You Always Dreamed Of | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Cdc Now Recommends Three Personalities Per Person | Common Observer |
| December 13, 2020 |
Cosmic Ju-jitsu Tournament With A Dramatic Finish | Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Damn Good Case Of The Brownie Bonkers | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| October 28, 2020 |
Interview With Belinda Burger, The "Googly Eyes" Artist | The Mysterious M |
| October 28, 2020 |
Spiders As An Alternative To Music | Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
Paparazzi Have A Foot Fetish | Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
“Happy App” Bug Gone Wild | Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
The Resilience Of Pastrami Man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| October 28, 2020 |
Monkey Phrases Come To Life | Adam Stein |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Tender Moment | Engelbert Humperdinck |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Plea For Help From The Planet Of Dearth | John Doe |
| October 28, 2020 |
For Lease: My Grandmother’s Voice In A Box | Charleigh Clark |
| October 28, 2020 |
10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records | Flip Gilligan |
| September 23, 2020 |
Questions: Would you Rather? | Paul Krueger |
| September 23, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself | Jupiter |
| September 23, 2020 |
Existential Dread Down the Drain | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 23, 2020 |
Sky Bottling Uncovered | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| August 16, 2020 |
WHERE DID PAST MATT HIDE MY CIGARETTES? | Future Matt |
| August 16, 2020 |
Alan Partridge Returns With Advice | Alan Partridge |
| August 16, 2020 |
Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax | Cryptic Mark |
| August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto | Leonid Chelmsford |
| May 12, 2020 |
Fleeting Touches on Other's Lives | Songsinger |
| May 12, 2020 |
Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines | Theodore Munnely |
| May 7, 2020 |
Letter to the Editor: I am Hiding Future Matt's Ciggarettes | Past Matt |
| May 5, 2020 |
Let's Paint a Picture: Trout Fishing | Vivian Mauve |
| May 5, 2020 |
Man Wakes Up As Words on The Page of a Book | Carl Mon |
| May 5, 2020 |
How "Toxic" By Britney Spears Saved Humankind From Destruction | Flip Gilligan |
| April 28, 2020 |
Attendence Required At Imagining Abundance Event | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 26, 2020 |
A New Generation Of Media | Surreal Times News Team |
| April 23, 2020 |
Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats | Tom Johnson |
| March 1, 2020 |
#savecrabs Movement Sweeping The Country | Paul Kruger |
| March 1, 2020 |
Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 1, 2020 |
Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery | Freak Funk Frank |
| March 1, 2020 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Biological Father Is Abraham Lincoln | Jupiter |
| February 29, 2020 |
Book Review: Voldemort Goes To Hawaii | Professor Nutmeg |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
| February 29, 2020 |
Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work | Hockey Face |
| January 25, 2020 |
Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 25, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| January 25, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: I Warn You: I Watch You And Your Ideas | Earth Cow |
| January 25, 2020 |
Squid Wrangling Methods | Dave Fingle |
| January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead | Flip Gilligan |
| January 25, 2020 |
Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned | Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
Explosive Feast At The Gin Mill | Common Observer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Reality: An Inescapable Eternity, Or A Failed Century-long Experiment | Ezra Ryder |
| January 25, 2020 |
A Dream Is Simply A Wasted 8-hour Rest Cycle | Loomis Taunch |
| December 6, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Human Hair Salad: Is It Canabalism? | Derek Nussbaum |
| December 6, 2019 |
Continued Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull | Graham Rapier |
| December 6, 2019 |
Learn To Lucid Dream | Cro Raka |
| December 6, 2019 |
PIA Defeated By The Reality Supremacists | Carl Mon |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Account: Hearsay Heresy | Soosberg |
| December 6, 2019 |
Opinion: Eat Blue Aliens For Morals And Sustainability | Aldus Humbleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Sanctuary Animals Uploaded To The Realm Of Ideas | Aldus Humbleton |
| November 11, 2019 |
Status of the Gord | The Gord's Keeper |
| November 2, 2019 |
I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It | V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Poem By Death Itself | Graham Rapier |
| November 2, 2019 |
Placenta And Loneliness, At Least For Now | The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Serious Man Failed By His Steed Who Took Too Much Acid | The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Island Has Confusing Experience | Unnamed Island |
| November 2, 2019 |
How I Transitioned Into A New Form | Anew Nema |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull | Graham Rapier |
| November 2, 2019 |
Droids Invade Love | Dr. Harold S. Pirog |
| November 2, 2019 |
Hypercube Confessions And The Future | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 2, 2019 |
The Carousel Of Unending Happiness Vii | Ophelia Jones |
| November 2, 2019 |
Demand: Show Me The Face Of Wisdom | Hank T. Joseph |
| November 2, 2019 |
What We Crave | Clist Cthrutchy |
| November 2, 2019 |
A Missive To The Editors Of The Surreal Times | Alan Partridge |
| November 1, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: My Boyfriend Turned Me Into a Vampire And Dumped Me | Jupiter |
| October 5, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness | Your RingMaster |
| October 5, 2019 |
Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream | Ed Nucklebalm |
| October 5, 2019 |
Jesus Reincarnated Before My Eyes | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 4, 2019 |
The Film Critic's Homunculus | Ryan Cameron |
| October 4, 2019 |
Intelligent Life Destroying Itself | Ferdinand Maxwell |
| October 4, 2019 |
Workers Cooperative Hiring All Species Comanagers | Charlie Tomquat |
| October 3, 2019 |
A Short Treatise on Insects and Loneliness | Cro Raka |
| October 3, 2019 |
A Letter of Recruitment to a Novelty Prodigy | Theodore Munnely |
| September 26, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself | Jupiter |
| September 4, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Warns Us of His Counterpart | The Mechanical Fellow |
| June 17, 2019 |
Ode to Lobotomies | Your Neighbor |
| June 17, 2019 |
Top 13 Ball Moments | Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
For Amherst, With Bees in Mind | Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Logs of Earl Bristol Goddard Published | The Purple Hermit |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carousel of Unending Happiness Lies In The Home of The Walking Dead | Charleigh Clark |
| May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto | Eddie Octo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Honey Alliance Coop Opening Its Gates | Cro Raka |
| May 21, 2019 |
The Sunken Head Says Bye and Somni Says Hi | The Narrator |
| May 21, 2019 |
Encounters of the Tweener Trinketeer Date Back to Early 70s | Melanie Richardson |
| May 15, 2019 |
The Story of Time | Cryptic Mark |
| May 14, 2019 |
In Response to A Study In Cow Pelt And Citrus | The Inanimate Empathist |
| May 13, 2019 |
These Things Are Innocent | Eddy Cruise |
| May 13, 2019 |
I Have Seen The Emerald Sea | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 20, 2019 |
Eddie: The Octopus Stings | Luap Killner |
| April 16, 2019 |
RCSC Distribution Begins | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 16, 2019 |
Man Spots Fire Hydrant In Desert | The Editors |
| April 16, 2019 |
Woman Rashly Consumes Leg Seed | Anonymous |
| April 16, 2019 |
Man Grows Auxiliary Mind | Clarence Mon |
| April 16, 2019 |
Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali | Hank T. Joseph |
| April 16, 2019 |
Looking Forward to The Return of Toad Kill Flame-Tire | Elijah Groust |
| April 16, 2019 |
Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap | Common Observer |
| April 16, 2019 |
Interview With NASA Computer Scientist | The Purple Hermit |
| April 16, 2019 |
Dorf Deported After Altercations With Serr-Vo and The Mechanical Fellow | Ron Gutterston |
| April 16, 2019 |
The Weight of The Job and Who it Weighs On | Graham Rapier |
| April 14, 2019 |
Deluxe Papa Vape Pods Hit Stores | Roberto Piccolo |
| March 24, 2019 |
Journalist's Life Partner Goes Missing | Tom Johnson |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
| March 14, 2019 |
Revamping Cruel and Unusual Punishment in The Hampshire County Jail | Common Observer |
| March 13, 2019 |
For Sale: Noise Moths | Whaler S. Fishpole |
| March 13, 2019 |
Account: I feed Myself to Myself | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 12, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Wishes To Leave His Castle | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 11, 2019 |
Mouth of Pig Discovered in Roadside Soup | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 26, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 26, 2019 |
The Fall of The Former Martian Ambassador | The Purple Hermit |
| February 21, 2019 |
Knocking for Dreams | Somoni Endadid |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Earnest Earhorn | The Earhorn Family |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Chuck Stylish | The Stylish Family |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy | The People With Repetitive Names Society |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Dingus Hullentail | The Hullentail Family |
| January 29, 2019 |
The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 28, 2019 |
Linda Peterson Freed: How Will She Redeem Herself? | Dr. Linda Peterson |
| January 28, 2019 |
Rogue Woman Returns: "The Deadly Touch Tarantula | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 24, 2019 |
Castle About Which World Rotates: dweller unsatisfied, unable to paint or escape | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 23, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Leaves Jail Under Care of Lover | Clarence Mon |
| January 22, 2019 |
Bill "Nerb" Elsasser to Sue Town For Killing Flowers | Common Observer |
| January 8, 2019 |
Man Boasts Castle About Which World Rotates | “The oracle to which the world delivers its specimens” |
| December 30, 2018 |
An Attempt on Dr. Linda Peterson's Life | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 27, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Banned Across the Pioneer Valley | Tom Johnson |
| December 19, 2018 |
Ongoing Offshoot of Liquid From Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Groundly Mouths | Carl Mon |
| December 18, 2018 |
Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life | Youbus Leeftim |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 13, 2018 |
Use Disassociex© To Fight Hair Anywhere Spray Forests | Advertisement |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| November 19, 2018 |
Teenager Looses Tooth Cigarette Jousting | Bernard Gigliotti |
| November 16, 2018 |
Obituary: The Gulled One Has Pecked the Bucket | The Editors |
| November 15, 2018 |
Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms | The Purple Hermit |
| November 5, 2018 |
Riddles By Eyebrows | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| October 29, 2018 |
A Letter to a Friend Tossed in The Wind.?. | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| October 23, 2018 |
Ode to Seagulls | Carët “Egg” Ozoné |
| October 15, 2018 |
The Surreal Three Split | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| October 11, 2018 |
A Facebook Status From Pavlo Polertski | The Editors |
| October 7, 2018 |
Dodge Responsibilites with New Disassociex©! | Advertisement |
| October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 3, 2018 |
His Name Is Mr. Terrible and He Just Likes to Sneak Around | Ron Gutterston |
| October 2, 2018 |
A Letter To My Brother | Saul Smalls |
| October 1, 2018 |
Bonkers Bozos Think the Answer is in The Past | Alfred Humbleton |
| September 29, 2018 |
Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 27, 2018 |
What Professor Ramirez Said to the Surreal Five | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 27, 2018 |
Wendy Yoon: "I'm doing it for the dreams." | Roberto Piccolo |
| September 27, 2018 |
Professor Ramirez Reemerges | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinski |
| September 26, 2018 |
Become Rich and Satisfied By Living at One With Nature | Tommy Potentuary |
| September 25, 2018 |
An Overview of Surreality, Surreality Exposure, and Hyper-Mundanity | The Editors |
| September 19, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” | The Editors |
| September 3, 2018 |
Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment | Cryptic Mark |
| August 23, 2018 |
"The Spot" Breaks Box Office Records, Becoming the Most Profitable Movie in History | Steve Hackwood |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Surreal Enforcement Agency Is Formed | The Editors |
| August 8, 2018 |
Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| August 2, 2018 |
Hope of Interplanetary Cordiality Extinguished | Ron Gutterston |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 28, 2018 |
We Ought To Learn From And Care For The Birds of Ravenwold | Ron Gutterston |
| July 21, 2018 |
Town Must Do Better | Chris Bascomb |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| May 30, 2018 |
A Peek Into The Life Of Eddie Octo | Marina Parella |
| May 30, 2018 |
A Recording Of The Ranting Of The Hermenaut | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 30, 2018 |
Outlaw Killed Or Not | Megunticook Stevens |
| May 30, 2018 |
Newspaper Spawns Subsidiary Adventure Capital Firm | The Editors |
| April 19, 2018 |
Government To Begin Investigation of The 'Shower Act' | Cryptic Mark |
| April 19, 2018 |
On The Bihexical Search | Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
| April 19, 2018 |
A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... | Tom Johnson |
| April 19, 2018 |
Job Opening: Professional Wanderer | Cro Raka |
| April 19, 2018 |
Vow: I Will Drown Out The Chimp's Taunts With My Howl | The Arkansas Howler |
| April 19, 2018 |
New Column: Ask G.G. For Advice | G.G. |
| April 13, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 15, 2018 |
Possibilities Involving Outlets | Wes Sizemore |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Letter to The Editor | Joseph Altmann |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| February 25, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail & House of Corrections Re-Opens | Common Observer |
| February 24, 2018 |
A Depraved Scene Among Our Youth | Chef Xenu Zorelli |
| February 20, 2018 |
New Gameshow, Pilot Episode Airs Tonight | Tommy Potentuary |
| January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column | Dennis Horizontal Hands |
| December 25, 2017 |
Ant Pursues Fountain of Youth | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 23, 2017 |
A PICKLE TO THE PREFRONTAL | Wes Sizemore |
| December 16, 2017 |
Researchers Discover Cure For Excessive Sanity | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 15, 2017 |
The Surreal Web Died Today | Priestess Charlene |
| December 4, 2017 |
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2017 |
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants | Wes Sizemore |
| November 14, 2017 |
Catching Up With The Arkansas Howler | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson | Praa Para |
| November 2, 2017 |
Local Boy Falls Into iPhone, Loses Thumb | J.D. |
| October 19, 2017 |
Mathematicians Speak Out | Suthagorous |
| October 17, 2017 |
Young People Try To Start Careers | Cryptic Mark |
| September 25, 2017 |
Squanderers of the Molecule of Life! | Professor Burgowittz |
| September 25, 2017 |
The Schizo Report | The Voices |
| September 22, 2017 |
Couple Does a Marriage | Cryptic Mark |
| September 7, 2017 |
Earthwater Entities Mount Escape to Calm | Alfred Humbleton |
| September 6, 2017 |
Come to the Inaugural Surreal Newsroom | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 10, 2017 |
Hungry Parakeet Scandal | Common Observer |
| August 4, 2017 |
The Eclipse and A Call To Action | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| August 4, 2017 |
Call to action for the second coming | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| June 14, 2017 |
Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems | Clarence Mon |
| June 1, 2017 |
Disc Jam Descending on Stephenstown NY | Doctor Goldstein |
| May 19, 2017 |
A Quick Rewind | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| May 3, 2017 |
OBITUARY: TRUTH HAS DEPARTED THIS LIFE | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 26, 2017 |
A Visit From The Bird | Cro Raka |
| April 25, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring! | The Editors |
| March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th | Hank T. Joseph |
| March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass | Professor Burgowittz |
| March 1, 2017 |
Ice jam aborted | Alfred Humbleton |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
| February 2, 2017 |
BURGOWITTZ FOOLISH, UNWISE | Jameson Eldar |
| February 1, 2017 |
Botany can really Ruffle Feathers | Armädeius Galouei |
| January 31, 2017 |
An Explanation | Doctor Goldstein |
| January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 31, 2017 |
IMPORTANT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY | Professor Burgowittz |