| Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
| December 12, 2021 |
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Federal Reserve of Thoughts to replace The Federal Reserve | Carl Mon |
| December 12, 2021 |
Column: Pleakley's Afternoon | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Local Business Tries Out Causal Fridays | Johnathan Delsignore |
| December 12, 2021 |
>Man Obscured By Tuba | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Holyman Summons A Party | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 12, 2021 |
Stuck in a bug | Vidya |
| December 12, 2021 |
Free Will Fridays | Tom Johnson |
| December 12, 2021 |
What is compound neuronal exposure disease? | Doctor Cozma |
| December 12, 2021 |
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils | Medusa's Tendril |
| August 23, 2021 |
Mourning Breath | The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Picnic In The Sahara | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 23, 2021 |
New Covid Variant Detected | Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
Legal Question | Vladimir |
| August 23, 2021 |
Turtle's Dreams | The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
Mental Magnet Erases Hard Drives | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 23, 2021 |
Jeff Bezos: Chimpanzee Murderer | Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
Opinion: Animal Testing Is Wrong, Use Furries Instead | Dr. Mormonius Rex |
| August 23, 2021 |
Dependence Day A National Holliday | Ms. Porter |
| August 23, 2021 |
God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero | Tommy Potentuary |
| August 23, 2021 |
Recommended Negative Vibe Quota | Milbod Hummmmmmmmm |
| August 23, 2021 |
New Study Suggests This Is All A 4th Grader’s Fever Dream | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| August 23, 2021 |
Monkey Tilt Laws | Tom Johnson |
| August 23, 2021 |
2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign | Paul Kruger |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man | The Inanimate Empathist |
| August 23, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Year Anniversary Bash | The Editors |
| August 23, 2021 |
The Completed Observations Of An Oatmeal Beard On A Bus. | Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| August 23, 2021 |
Convert Me Daddy! This Could Be A One Buck Pantheon For You. | Anonymous |
| July 18, 2021 |
Unions Oppose Corporate Piano Method | Common Observer |
| July 18, 2021 |
Talking To Your Child About The Worker Elves That Live In Your Body | Lucy Bugle |
| July 18, 2021 |
Astronaut Stranded On Lagrange Point | Carl Mon |
| July 18, 2021 |
Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! | The Mysterious M |
| July 18, 2021 |
Once People Walked Here, But Now Only A Few Do. | Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Introspecting On The Side Effects Of Divorce | Dernberger Spengleton |
| July 18, 2021 |
Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| July 18, 2021 |
Brave Dog Stops Home Intruder, Tortures Him In The Basement For 6 Months. | Micheal O'Really |
| July 18, 2021 |
Dear Jupiter: My Tongue Has Become A Snake! | Jupiter |
| July 18, 2021 |
Have You Ever Experienced Something … So Bad | Vivian Mauve |
| July 18, 2021 |
Soldiers Required To Communicate Over Connection-based Protocol Tcp | Carl Mon |
| July 18, 2021 |
What Really Happened When A Rodent Teether And A Tobot Roother Kissed. | The Speculative Asexual |
| May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Under 5 List | Paul Kruger |
| May 29, 2021 |
Reminder: Your Rights As A Dimension 3 Biped | Aldus Humbleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times Joins The New York Times | The Editors |
| May 29, 2021 |
Gov. Mandates Continuous Integration Testing Of Humans | Common Observer |
| May 29, 2021 |
Hiccupper Quarantine Camps | Carl Mon |
| May 29, 2021 |
Are You A Markov Chain? Find Out Now And Get Help? | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Martians Discover Helicopter Drones | Tom Johnson |
| May 29, 2021 |
Immersive Pet Store | Aldus Humbleton |
| May 29, 2021 |
Group Attempts To Hypnotize The Gods | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Surreal Times Aquired By The Argonaut | The Editors |
| April 9, 2021 |
A New Kind Of Hiccup | Carl Mon |
| April 9, 2021 |
Meese Herds Return To Home In Sw Ontario. | Ellie Zandt-Balmer |
| April 9, 2021 |
A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 9, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Mathematicians On Mars | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 9, 2021 |
Max On The Street: Repeated Exchanging Of Burritos In Cambridge | Max R. Normalman |
| April 9, 2021 |
Man Convicted Of Crime Against Humanity | Bartholomew Bax |
| April 9, 2021 |
Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining | Paul Kruger |
| April 9, 2021 |
Caterpillar Rash | Opheila Jones |
| April 9, 2021 |
Conversions Overheard Vol. 3: Gulled One Sighting. | Ophelia Jones |
| April 9, 2021 |
Help! I've Been Kidnapped And Forced To Listen To The Mars Volta | Flip Gilligan |
| April 9, 2021 |
Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Can Bone Removal Prevent The Spread Of Covid? | Common Observer |
| March 12, 2021 |
Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure | Bartholomew Bax |
| March 12, 2021 |
Multiple Personalities Given Voting Rights | Carl Mon |
| March 12, 2021 |
Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 12, 2021 |
Capsoul: Color Your Life | Advertisement |
| March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero | The Mysterious M |
| March 12, 2021 |
Amadeus Huntington, The Plant Destroyer | Paul Kruger |
| March 12, 2021 |
A View Into A Vietnamese Apartment | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| March 12, 2021 |
Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| March 12, 2021 |
Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free | The Gulled One |
| February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM | Zed Murky |
| February 9, 2021 |
A Healthy Man | Bartholomew Bax |
| February 9, 2021 |
Why I Became A Lizard | Lucard Haugauna |
| February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| February 9, 2021 |
University Of California To Introduce Spiritual Evaluation To Admission Process | Nicholas M. Sennott |
| February 9, 2021 |
Rates Of Self-immolation Skyrocket As Melon-man Hands Out Her Last Free Melon. | Micheal O’Really |
| February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap | Paul Kruger |
| February 9, 2021 |
Open Letter To My Past Self | Name Withheld Due To Safety |
| February 9, 2021 |
Letter To The Editor | Anonymous |
| February 9, 2021 |
Individual Protests Federeral Reserve | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 9, 2021 |
Individuals Celebrate Organization | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 9, 2021 |
Federal Reserve To Lower Global Brain Coefficient | Aldus Humbleton |
| February 9, 2021 |
News Pirates Hijack Distribution Box | Times Staff |
| February 8, 2021 |
Novelty Society Achieves Success | Theodore Munnely |
| February 8, 2021 |
Reality Supremacist Operatives Outed From Congress | Carl Mon |
| February 8, 2021 |
Dentist Starves After Robot Teeth Steal Food | Tom Johnson |
| February 8, 2021 |
Congress Passes Reality Relief Bill | Common Observer |
| December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Account: Observations of An Oatmeal Beard on a Bus | Melanie Richardson PsyD |
| December 13, 2020 |
Notice: You May Be Entitled to Money | Anonymous |
| December 13, 2020 |
Opinion: Humans Should Be Banned | Guy Person |
| December 13, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art | Jupiter |
| December 13, 2020 |
Nation Unites In Anti-vampire Movement | Bartholomew Bax |
| December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Truth Behind Turkey | Joaquin |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Tragedy Of Bug-no-pain-man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker | Madame Madman |
| December 13, 2020 |
Aldus Presents: Unperiodic Reminder | Aldus Humbleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots | Carl Mon |
| December 13, 2020 |
Anonymous Robot Vandals Ruin The City | Aldous Humbleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Be The Video Game Character You Always Dreamed Of | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 13, 2020 |
Cdc Now Recommends Three Personalities Per Person | Common Observer |
| December 13, 2020 |
The Art Of Fishing With Birds, A Beautiful Bond | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 13, 2020 |
Help! I Just Can't Get Away From These Beefy Crabs | Hubert E. “Eyebrows” Perrywinkler |
| December 13, 2020 |
Protests Against Turkey In Space | Common Observer |
| December 7, 2020 |
Imaginary Divorces Are Skyrocketing | Dr Peter Rambis |
| October 28, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| October 28, 2020 |
Notice To The Public | Mike |
| October 28, 2020 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 32 | Armädeius Galouei |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Damn Good Case Of The Brownie Bonkers | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| October 28, 2020 |
Interview With Belinda Burger, The "Googly Eyes" Artist | The Mysterious M |
| October 28, 2020 |
Paparazzi Have A Foot Fetish | Common Observer |
| October 28, 2020 |
A New “Intellectual Property” | Aldous Humbleton |
| October 28, 2020 |
Sandcastle Sex Dolls Deemed Unhealthy | Tom Johnson |
| October 28, 2020 |
“Happy App” Bug Gone Wild | Tommy Potentuary |
| October 28, 2020 |
The Resilience Of Pastrami Man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| October 28, 2020 |
Fundamentalism For Green | Captain Colorful |
| October 28, 2020 |
The City Of Jehovah | Mayor Pete Davidson |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Tender Moment | Engelbert Humperdinck |
| October 28, 2020 |
A Plea For Help From The Planet Of Dearth | John Doe |
| October 28, 2020 |
Gender Reveal Causes Tornado | Bartholomew Bax |
| October 28, 2020 |
How To Smoke Dandelions | Charleigh Clark |
| October 28, 2020 |
For Lease: My Grandmother’s Voice In A Box | Charleigh Clark |
| October 28, 2020 |
10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records | Flip Gilligan |
| September 23, 2020 |
Pro-Reality Gang Sentenced to Sane Assylum | Carl Mon |
| September 23, 2020 |
Meet the denizens of my cyst, You Dirty Dog | The Inanimate Empathist |
| September 23, 2020 |
Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled | Vivian Mauve |
| September 23, 2020 |
Luxury Space Lake Open for Family Fun | Tommy Potentuary |
| September 23, 2020 |
Tales of The Kandy Kingpin | Doctor Rotcod |
| September 23, 2020 |
In Troubled Times, Skatebirder Spreads Calm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 23, 2020 |
Questions: Would you Rather? | Paul Krueger |
| September 23, 2020 |
Please, Replace Your Teeth With Small Rodents | Kitty Collins |
| September 23, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself | Jupiter |
| September 23, 2020 |
Inexperience Pilots Needed | * Advertisement * |
| September 23, 2020 |
Sky Bottling Uncovered | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| August 16, 2020 |
WHERE DID PAST MATT HIDE MY CIGARETTES? | Future Matt |
| August 16, 2020 |
Alan Partridge Returns With Advice | Alan Partridge |
| August 16, 2020 |
Blip in The Axioms of The Universe | Common Observer |
| August 16, 2020 |
Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax | Cryptic Mark |
| August 15, 2020 |
Profile: The Skatebirder | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto | Leonid Chelmsford |
| August 6, 2020 |
Not Enough Karma For Hands | Common Observer |
| July 26, 2020 |
Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday | Tommy Potentuary |
| July 12, 2020 |
Third Eye's Brew | Murry Eyeball |
| May 12, 2020 |
Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines | Theodore Munnely |
| May 7, 2020 |
Testy Time Travelers Take Time-out, Investigating Teleportation | Hedwig the Hangry |
| May 7, 2020 |
Woman Uses Eyeballs as Toys | Common Observer |
| May 7, 2020 |
Genetics For Hire | Doctor Rotcod |
| May 5, 2020 |
Let's Paint a Picture: Trout Fishing | Vivian Mauve |
| May 5, 2020 |
Woman Fell In Love With A Yeast Infection | Common Observer |
| May 5, 2020 |
How "Toxic" By Britney Spears Saved Humankind From Destruction | Flip Gilligan |
| April 26, 2020 |
A New Generation Of Media | Surreal Times News Team |
| April 23, 2020 |
Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats | Tom Johnson |
| March 4, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| March 1, 2020 |
Slug Delivery Not Controversial | Tommy Potentuary |
| March 1, 2020 |
#savecrabs Movement Sweeping The Country | Paul Kruger |
| March 1, 2020 |
Quiet Mortimer: I Will Cut The Banjomans Strings | quiet mortimer |
| March 1, 2020 |
Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| March 1, 2020 |
Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery | Freak Funk Frank |
| March 1, 2020 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
| March 1, 2020 |
Discovery Of Junkyard Jukebox: Orchestrion Of Dreams | Pleakley Pow Pow |
| March 1, 2020 |
Dumpster Squids Migrate To Mud Puddles | A Concerned Citizen |
| March 1, 2020 |
Fireworks At The Convergence Bowl | Common Observer |
| February 29, 2020 |
Rest In Peace With Ripper Linda | Ripper Linda |
| February 29, 2020 |
Salvation Of Gleez Mission Fails Due To Problematic Greg | Kangarth Jragzip |
| February 29, 2020 |
Book Review: Voldemort Goes To Hawaii | Professor Nutmeg |
| February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Unsolved Case: Hand Disembodiment On The Charles | Tom Johnson |
| February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
| February 29, 2020 |
Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work | Hockey Face |
| January 25, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| January 25, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: I Warn You: I Watch You And Your Ideas | Earth Cow |
| January 25, 2020 |
Return Hair Anywhere Spray To The People | Whaler S. Fishpole |
| January 25, 2020 |
Sewer Snorts Make Downtown A Minefield | Common Observer |
| January 25, 2020 |
Squid Wrangling Methods | Dave Fingle |
| January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead | Flip Gilligan |
| January 25, 2020 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Receives Funding, Updates Curriculum | Mrs. Porter |
| January 25, 2020 |
Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned | Vivian Mauve |
| January 25, 2020 |
60 More Star Wars Films Planned For Release By 2030 | Martin “Marty” Kovacs |
| January 25, 2020 |
Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity | Cryptic Mark |
| January 25, 2020 |
Surreal Times Marching Orders | The Editors |
| December 24, 2019 |
Demon that Does Good Coming to Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Is Happy Greens Vegetable Farm An Insidious Cult? | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
| December 6, 2019 |
The Operation Was A Success But The Patient Was Dead | The Crooked Spoke |
| December 6, 2019 |
Continued Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull | Graham Rapier |
| December 6, 2019 |
Advertisement: The Finch Inc. Homing Lobster | Finney Finch |
| December 6, 2019 |
PIA Defeated By The Reality Supremacists | Carl Mon |
| December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
| December 6, 2019 |
Win Big At The Object Lottery | Tommy Potentuary |
| December 6, 2019 |
Surrealist Media Organizations Join Forces | The Editors |
| December 6, 2019 |
Culture Corner: Fiddler On The Roof Opens This Thursday | Ridley Stump |
| December 6, 2019 |
Account: Hearsay Heresy | Soosberg |
| December 6, 2019 |
Sanctuary Animals Uploaded To The Realm Of Ideas | Aldus Humbleton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Ball Players Disciplined | Sherry Wolverton |
| December 6, 2019 |
Builders Leave Backdoors for Tyranical Ants | Carl Mon |
| November 11, 2019 |
Status of the Gord | The Gord's Keeper |
| November 2, 2019 |
Diary Of Edna Cooper Uncovered | Edna Cooper |
| November 2, 2019 |
This Is About You | V. Mauve |
| November 2, 2019 |
I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It | V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas |
| November 2, 2019 |
Surprise Inverse Birth Rattles The Community | Common Observer |
| November 2, 2019 |
Newspaper Box Fires | Sherry Wolverton |
| November 2, 2019 |
Fins And Legs Plan An Offspring | The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
Serious Man Failed By His Steed Who Took Too Much Acid | The Collective |
| November 2, 2019 |
How I Transitioned Into A New Form | Anew Nema |
| November 2, 2019 |
Tomlinson LLC Experiences Workplace Friction | BoobnBob |
| November 2, 2019 |
In Pursuit Of A Smooth Marriage | BoobnBob |
| November 2, 2019 |
Droids Invade Love | Dr. Harold S. Pirog |
| November 2, 2019 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
| November 2, 2019 |
Demand: Show Me The Face Of Wisdom | Hank T. Joseph |
| November 2, 2019 |
What We Crave | Clist Cthrutchy |
| October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest | Shock Johnson |
| October 15, 2019 |
Fire Breathing Lizards Hatch In Allston | M. Mumford |
| October 5, 2019 |
Partial Devastation, Questions Follow Maritime Disaster | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| October 5, 2019 |
Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream | Ed Nucklebalm |
| October 5, 2019 |
Serial Chakra Unaligner Walks Streets | Maximo Piccolo |
| October 5, 2019 |
Basketball Game Turns Into Cooking Game Show | Boobnbob |
| October 5, 2019 |
Writer Glitches STD Ray Gun | Ned Greebly |
| October 4, 2019 |
The Film Critic's Homunculus | Ryan Cameron |
| October 4, 2019 |
Intelligent Life Destroying Itself | Ferdinand Maxwell |
| October 4, 2019 |
Workers Cooperative Hiring All Species Comanagers | Charlie Tomquat |
| October 3, 2019 |
Letter From The Foreign Dreams Correspondent | Alan Partridge |
| October 3, 2019 |
A Short Treatise on Insects and Loneliness | Cro Raka |
| October 3, 2019 |
Geographic Oddity Between The Stans | George The Geographer |
| October 3, 2019 |
Common Man Builds Amazing Inspectrograph | Common Observer |
| October 3, 2019 |
An Unexpected Source of Calm | Brendovic Leebac |
| October 3, 2019 |
PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers | Tom Johnson |
| October 3, 2019 |
Ants Join Arms at The Strait of Gibraltar | Carl Mon |
| October 3, 2019 |
Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy | Carl Mon |
| September 26, 2019 |
Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston | Yellow Pete |
| June 17, 2019 |
People Advised to Castrate Their Flowers | Aldus Humbleton |
| June 17, 2019 |
Alien Farmers Market in my Backyard | Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
| June 17, 2019 |
Designer Birth Control on The Rise | Tommy Potentuary |
| June 17, 2019 |
Optometrist Takes New Approach | BoobnBob |
| June 17, 2019 |
Blue Wall: Blown to Bits | Rio Calais |
| June 17, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Safe at Alien Commune | Ron Gutterston |
| June 17, 2019 |
Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show | Common Observer |
| June 17, 2019 |
Correspondence on Foreign Dreams | Alan Partridge |
| June 17, 2019 |
Head of PIA Hotdogged | Carl Mon |
| June 17, 2019 |
Sunderland Mound Growing | Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
Top 13 Ball Moments | Sherry Wolverton |
| June 17, 2019 |
For Amherst, With Bees in Mind | Charlie Tomquat |
| June 17, 2019 |
Logs of Earl Bristol Goddard Published | The Purple Hermit |
| June 16, 2019 |
Advanced Carnival Will Do Extraordinary Things | Fechy Honcon |
| June 16, 2019 |
Death By Halal | Tom Johnson |
| June 16, 2019 |
Eyeball Juice Stand A Success | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto | Eddie Octo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Honey Alliance Coop Opening Its Gates | Cro Raka |
| May 21, 2019 |
Occultist Ball Graveyard Growing Rapidly | Sherry Wolverton |
| May 21, 2019 |
The Sunken Head Says Bye and Somni Says Hi | The Narrator |
| May 21, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow: As The Humans By The Pond Stalk, With The Tiny People I Will Talk | Roberto Piccolo |
| May 21, 2019 |
Novelty Vandals Reconfigure West Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
| May 16, 2019 |
CALIFORNIA SOCK PUPPET MAN ESCAPES SECRET FACILITY | Sax Tuba |
| May 15, 2019 |
The Story of Time | Cryptic Mark |
| May 14, 2019 |
Metal Tree Erected Atop Mountain | Clarence Mon |
| May 14, 2019 |
In Response to A Study In Cow Pelt And Citrus | The Inanimate Empathist |
| May 13, 2019 |
These Things Are Innocent | Eddy Cruise |
| May 13, 2019 |
I Have Seen The Emerald Sea | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 20, 2019 |
Eddie: The Octopus Stings | Luap Killner |
| April 16, 2019 |
Have You Seen The Balloon With Teeth | Melanie Richardson |
| April 16, 2019 |
Les Quatre Dialogues Studiex | Multiple |
| April 16, 2019 |
Man Spots Fire Hydrant In Desert | The Editors |
| April 16, 2019 |
Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali | Hank T. Joseph |
| April 16, 2019 |
Perspective: Aquarius Is A Bitch | Anonymous Offspring |
| April 16, 2019 |
Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap | Common Observer |
| April 16, 2019 |
Interview With NASA Computer Scientist | The Purple Hermit |
| April 16, 2019 |
Hot New Place to Live: Centralia Pennsylvania | Tommy Potentuary |
| April 16, 2019 |
Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy | The Mad Shark |
| April 12, 2019 |
Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords | William (Bill) Gumby |
| March 24, 2019 |
Journalist's Life Partner Goes Missing | Tom Johnson |
| March 14, 2019 |
Rats Carry Messages Throughout Downtown | Roberto Piccolo |
| March 14, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Cannot Break Out or Be Broken Out | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Majestic Dance: A Crustacean's Art | Cro Raka |
| March 14, 2019 |
A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
| March 14, 2019 |
&-Pose Trend Sweeping Nation's Youth | The Purple Hermit |
| March 13, 2019 |
Ipsum Communications Satellite Aims Radar at 4th Moon of Jupiter | The Purple Hermit |
| March 13, 2019 |
Hippo Causes Destruction Downtown | BoobnBob |
| March 12, 2019 |
Monstrous House Cat Donated to Shelter | Opa Kaanrus |
| February 26, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 26, 2019 |
The Fall of The Former Martian Ambassador | The Purple Hermit |
| February 24, 2019 |
Minor Scrapes, Tears, In Aftermath of High Rise Collapse | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
| February 21, 2019 |
A Secret Feast in Argentina | Cro Raka |
| February 21, 2019 |
Knocking for Dreams | Somoni Endadid |
| February 20, 2019 |
How To Reach the End of The World | Cro Raka |
| February 20, 2019 |
Geese Departure Pushed Back Again | Leila |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Earnest Earhorn | The Earhorn Family |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy | The People With Repetitive Names Society |
| February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Agatha Pendleton | The Pendleton Family |
| February 17, 2019 |
y2k38 Is Not Just Another y2k | Kurt Bonzo |
| February 16, 2019 |
Plane Destroys Blimp, Deadly Tabun Needles Rain Upon Civilians | Tom Johnson |
| February 14, 2019 |
Le’tratte Storage LLC Thriving | Tommy Potentuary |
| February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky | Tommy Potentuary |
| January 29, 2019 |
The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 28, 2019 |
Linda Peterson Freed: How Will She Redeem Herself? | Dr. Linda Peterson |
| January 23, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Leaves Jail Under Care of Lover | Clarence Mon |
| January 22, 2019 |
Bill "Nerb" Elsasser to Sue Town For Killing Flowers | Common Observer |
| January 17, 2019 |
Serum to Counter Hair Anywhere Spray | Tom Johnson |
| January 17, 2019 |
Mound of Mixed Greens Appears in Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
| January 13, 2019 |
Psychoactive Noise Moths Do Not Affect Humans | Whaler S. Fishpole |
| January 9, 2019 |
Peripheral Intelligence Agency Opens A New Office In NYC | Clarence Mon |
| January 9, 2019 |
Join Our Cause | The Editors |
| January 9, 2019 |
Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 9, 2019 |
We Have Been Given Quandaries | Tevobet Nope |
| January 9, 2019 |
Tabletalk Cries | Tommy Origami |
| January 8, 2019 |
Man Boasts Castle About Which World Rotates | “The oracle to which the world delivers its specimens” |
| January 4, 2019 |
Whole Grain Bread Numbers Rising | Clarence Mon |
| January 4, 2019 |
The Process Complete: R. Bottleby Gains Vague Telepathic Foresight | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 30, 2018 |
An Attempt on Dr. Linda Peterson's Life | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 27, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Banned Across the Pioneer Valley | Tom Johnson |
| December 22, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail Bans Reptiles | Common Observer |
| December 19, 2018 |
"Beware The Tabun Needle" | Saul Smalls, with the help of an editor surviving the same illness |
| December 18, 2018 |
Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life | Youbus Leeftim |
| December 18, 2018 |
Chimpanzee Joe Missing | Tom Johnson |
| December 16, 2018 |
"Force-field" Surrounds Isenberg Campus | The Purple Hermit |
| December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 13, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Graffiti Grows Back When Cut | Joe Tellie |
| December 11, 2018 |
Cryptid Caught: "Belmontian Gurp" Apprehended in Amherst Sewers | Sax Tuba |
| December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 3, 2018 |
May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2018 |
Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident | The Purple Hermit |
| November 27, 2018 |
Hair Graffiti Growing Wildly | Joe Tellie |
| November 26, 2018 |
New Theory Appears in Nazca | Cro Raka |
| November 26, 2018 |
Honors College Begins Mushroom Operation On Finely-Shredded Hopes and Dreams | The Purple Hermit |
| November 21, 2018 |
Lobster Spawning Brigade Accidentally Descends On Amherst | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| November 19, 2018 |
Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large | Sax Tuba |
| November 19, 2018 |
Teenager Looses Tooth Cigarette Jousting | Bernard Gigliotti |
| November 15, 2018 |
Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms | The Purple Hermit |
| November 15, 2018 |
The Pentagon Loses Edge, Becomes Square | Dr. Oxford |
| November 13, 2018 |
"Cigarette Jousting" -- A Danger To Our Youth | Rebecca Winston |
| November 5, 2018 |
Surreal Paraguay | Cro Raka |
| November 5, 2018 |
Honor to The Search | The Editors |
| October 29, 2018 |
A Letter to a Friend Tossed in The Wind.?. | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
| October 28, 2018 |
Truck Breeding Season Returns After 100 Year Absence | Clarence Mon |
| October 28, 2018 |
Words Discover How To Make Love | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 28, 2018 |
I Hereby Endorse Whorf's Cactus Balm | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| October 25, 2018 |
A New Stage of The Problem of The Upper Half Of The Man Cut into Two By A Window | Dernberger Spengleton |
| October 23, 2018 |
Ode to Seagulls | Carët “Egg” Ozoné |
| October 20, 2018 |
Scale Replica of Amherst Discovered Miles Under Amherst | The Purple Hermit |
| October 20, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig 13 | Armädeius Galouei |
| October 15, 2018 |
I Did Not Give The Surreal Five The Thirteen-Second Frequency | Juan Ramirez |
| October 10, 2018 |
Mikey Reviews: Woke Foods Inc. - New “Conspiracy” Themed Family Restaurant | Mikey McCall |
| October 9, 2018 |
The Martians Are Here, and it is Glorious | The Purple Hermit |
| October 7, 2018 |
Dodge Responsibilites with New Disassociex©! | Advertisement |
| October 5, 2018 |
Man Shows Vulnerability, Successfully Apprehended | Aleister Frost |
| October 4, 2018 |
New Research Out of The University of Dortmund | The Editors |
| October 4, 2018 |
Community Bikes Sustainably Kick | Clarence Mon |
| October 2, 2018 |
A Letter To My Brother | Saul Smalls |
| September 29, 2018 |
Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| September 25, 2018 |
An Overview of Surreality, Surreality Exposure, and Hyper-Mundanity | The Editors |
| September 24, 2018 |
A Joint Statement From The Surreal Five | The Editors |
| September 23, 2018 |
Is There A Seven-Second Frequency? | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| September 20, 2018 |
Questionable Hustle in Central Park: HUMAN ZOO | Tom Johnson |
| September 19, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” | The Editors |
| September 18, 2018 |
H-33 Explained | Eddie Octo |
| September 3, 2018 |
Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment | Cryptic Mark |
| August 23, 2018 |
"The Spot" Breaks Box Office Records, Becoming the Most Profitable Movie in History | Steve Hackwood |
| August 16, 2018 |
The Feathered Travesty: One Naturalist's Thoughts On An Unnatural Matter | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
| August 15, 2018 |
Eddie Octo Achieves Surreal Engineering Masters Degree | The Editors |
| August 11, 2018 |
The Tree Folk Under Pressure: A New Member Raises Tension | Roberto Piccolo |
| August 9, 2018 |
The Surreal Enforcement Agency Is Formed | The Editors |
| August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow Is A Mormon Communist Spook | John Short |
| August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow is a Mechanical Menace | George S. Halfly |
| August 8, 2018 |
Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| August 6, 2018 |
Brave Help Wanted for Dangerous, Vital Work | Maximillian C. Ramped |
| August 5, 2018 |
AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 2, 2018 |
Hope of Interplanetary Cordiality Extinguished | Ron Gutterston |
| July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
| July 29, 2018 |
Shiftier Than Ever: The Baron Receives 3.2 Billion Dollars | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| July 28, 2018 |
We Ought To Learn From And Care For The Birds of Ravenwold | Ron Gutterston |
| July 27, 2018 |
Demon Unveils Foundation Line | Roberto Piccolo |
| July 25, 2018 |
The Fate of The Cockfighting Roosters | Tom Johnson |
| July 24, 2018 |
Spanish Monks Time Travel To Amherst | Roberto Piccolo |
| July 21, 2018 |
Cockfighter's Genetic Medium A Mystery | Oswald Avery |
| July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| July 11, 2018 |
Baron of Bullets: I Have The Ultimate Weapon | Marcus Van Door |
| July 1, 2018 |
Terrible Assault on General Consciousness | Tiggy Sintrupuli |
| July 1, 2018 |
Fighting Creatures Are Not Terrestrial | Alfred Humbleton |
| July 1, 2018 |
Cockfighting Bust in Northampton | Tom Johnson |
| June 6, 2018 |
Science Fair Invention Makes Relationships a Dream | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon | Tommy Potentuary |
| May 30, 2018 |
Internship Position Opens | Management |
| May 30, 2018 |
A Recording Of The Ranting Of The Hermenaut | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| May 30, 2018 |
Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Outlaw Killed Or Not | Megunticook Stevens |
| May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun | Dernberger Spengleton |
| May 30, 2018 |
Silence That Pretentious Octopus | Chimpanzee Joe |
| May 30, 2018 |
Cloud Anchor Proposed, P.I.A. Investigating | Clarence Mon |
| May 30, 2018 |
Murderer To Be Executed | Old Souls Anonymous |
| April 20, 2018 |
Craigslist Post Appears Offering Bicycle Day Deal | Common Observer |
| April 19, 2018 |
Arkansas Howler Arrested After Altercation With Neighbors | Roberto Piccolo |
| April 19, 2018 |
Government To Begin Investigation of The 'Shower Act' | Cryptic Mark |
| April 19, 2018 |
Intelligent Computer Worm On The Loose | Tom Johnson |
| April 19, 2018 |
Musical Fun All Around | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 19, 2018 |
An Update From Inside The Old Chapel Dome | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| April 19, 2018 |
Dj Hawk Radio Passes Along | Dernberger Spengleton |
| April 19, 2018 |
2nd Annual Acupuncture Social | Loomis Taunch |
| April 19, 2018 |
Elderly Man Carves Crop Circles For Charity | Common Observer |
| April 19, 2018 |
A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... | Tom Johnson |
| April 19, 2018 |
The Hermenaut Blasts Himself Into Orbit | Roberto Piccolo |
| April 19, 2018 |
Opinion: Is The Hermenaut Even Interested In Becoming The Ultimate Hermit? | Roberto Piccolo |
| April 13, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| March 28, 2018 |
Writing Competition Finished! Winners announced! | Dr. Dan Nibbler |
| March 15, 2018 |
Possibilities Involving Outlets | Wes Sizemore |
| March 15, 2018 |
Malicious Koi Robs World of Nwidvee | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 15, 2018 |
Letter to The Editor | Joseph Altmann |
| March 15, 2018 |
Upcoming Event: Art Takes on Art | Loomis Taunch |
| March 15, 2018 |
The Balloon: Part 2 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| March 11, 2018 |
Carnival Observed in The South | Cro Raka |
| March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 25, 2018 |
Mail Truck Crash, Strong Impression on Witnesses | Patty Geortenhul |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 25, 2018 |
Burgowittz Resigns | The Editors |
| February 25, 2018 |
An Inspiring and Virtuous Tale Unfolds Before Our Eyes | Earnest |
| February 25, 2018 |
The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 | Old Souls Anonymous |
| February 25, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail & House of Corrections Re-Opens | Common Observer |
| February 24, 2018 |
After the Extraplosion: Moe Lives to Tell The Tale | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| February 24, 2018 |
P.S.A. Regarding Meteor Impacts | Jonothan Woodruff |
| February 24, 2018 |
A Depraved Scene Among Our Youth | Chef Xenu Zorelli |
| February 20, 2018 |
New Gameshow, Pilot Episode Airs Tonight | Tommy Potentuary |
| February 20, 2018 |
The Rise Together Corporation Falls | Roberto Piccolo |
| February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 22, 2018 |
Goose Gingertop Deployed | Jang Ben |
| January 22, 2018 |
Faith Can Move Mountains | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 17, 2018 |
The State | ~? |
| January 17, 2018 |
Introducing the Portable Surreal Engine | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| January 17, 2018 |
A Love Supreme | J.D. |
| January 17, 2018 |
PSA: Keep Animals Inside | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| January 17, 2018 |
Creativity Blossoms at The Fault | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| January 17, 2018 |
The Princess Presents: Rope Arms ^Goliath | Common Observer |
| January 16, 2018 |
MONSTROSITY APPROACHING | Clarence Mon |
| January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column | Dennis Horizontal Hands |
| December 31, 2017 |
Breaking News: Hordes Gather At San Andreas Fault Line | The Editors |
| December 31, 2017 |
Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade | Alfred Humbleton |
| December 25, 2017 |
The New Assault on Rationality | Roberto Piccolo |
| December 23, 2017 |
A PICKLE TO THE PREFRONTAL | Wes Sizemore |
| December 23, 2017 |
Leaning Tower Falling | Earnest |
| December 23, 2017 |
A Call to Writers | The Editors |
| December 16, 2017 |
Researchers Discover Cure For Excessive Sanity | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 16, 2017 |
A Trail of Ashes | J.D. |
| December 16, 2017 |
The New Mexico Surreal Engine | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
| December 15, 2017 |
The Surreal Web Died Today | Priestess Charlene |
| December 12, 2017 |
Howler Howls His Last | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
| December 4, 2017 |
A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts | J.D. |
| December 4, 2017 |
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 30, 2017 |
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants | Wes Sizemore |
| November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? | Anonymous |
| November 28, 2017 |
What's So Great About Language Anyway? | Chimpanzee Joe |
| November 28, 2017 |
Letter to The Editor | A Concerned Mother |
| November 28, 2017 |
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 20, 2017 |
Local Boys Learns Not To Lie | Cro Raka |
| November 16, 2017 |
At The Foot of The Altar | Doctor Goldstein |
| November 15, 2017 |
Symptoms of the New Avian Flu | Colette |
| November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
| November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson | Praa Para |
| November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness | Dernberger Spengleton |
| November 9, 2017 |
Prose Poem From Recent Festival | The Editors |
| November 2, 2017 |
Local Boy Falls Into iPhone, Loses Thumb | J.D. |
| October 27, 2017 |
My Search For Enlightenment in these Forsaken Times | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| October 26, 2017 |
Stolen Gurgleer | Clarence Mon |
| October 19, 2017 |
Mathematicians Speak Out | Suthagorous |
| October 18, 2017 |
Interested in Buying a Soul? | Cro Raka |
| October 17, 2017 |
Young People Try To Start Careers | Cryptic Mark |
| October 15, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #2 | Armädeius Galouei |
| October 3, 2017 |
Call For Writers | The Editors |
| September 25, 2017 |
Squanderers of the Molecule of Life! | Professor Burgowittz |
| September 25, 2017 |
The Schizo Report | The Voices |
| September 23, 2017 |
More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry | Cro Raka |
| September 13, 2017 |
Surreal Newsroom on 9/14/2017 | Dernberger Spengleton |
| September 7, 2017 |
Earthwater Entities Mount Escape to Calm | Alfred Humbleton |
| September 6, 2017 |
Come to the Inaugural Surreal Newsroom | Dernberger Spengleton |
| August 10, 2017 |
Hungry Parakeet Scandal | Common Observer |
| August 4, 2017 |
The Eclipse and A Call To Action | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| August 4, 2017 |
Call to action for the second coming | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| July 27, 2017 |
U.S. Scientists Edit Embryo DNA | Professor Burgowittz |
| July 5, 2017 |
Dragonflies, Mind Control, Polar Bears & Oil | Clarence Mon |
| June 14, 2017 |
Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems | Clarence Mon |
| May 19, 2017 |
A Quick Rewind | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| April 26, 2017 |
A Visit From The Bird | Cro Raka |
| April 25, 2017 |
LOW-TEMP VOLCANO ERUPTS | Earnest |
| April 10, 2017 |
Large Idea Rotisserie Halts, The Unlegged Rise, The Sun Continues to Shine | Alfred Humbleton |
| April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social to be hosted at the Fine Arts Center! | Loomis Taunch |
| April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social at the FAC! | Loomis Taunch |
| April 1, 2017 |
Anarchy Among Our Youth! | Clarence Mon |
| March 31, 2017 |
Protest by the Tree Folk | Moriarty Collins |
| March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th | Hank T. Joseph |
| March 17, 2017 |
Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant | Dernberger Spengleton |
| March 8, 2017 |
Three Generalizations | Chuulepher "Future Mann" Erp-mangus IV |
| March 3, 2017 |
Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen | Cro Raka |
| March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
| February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
| February 2, 2017 |
UMass seeks energy crown | Clarence Mon |
| February 2, 2017 |
BURGOWITTZ FOOLISH, UNWISE | Jameson Eldar |
| February 2, 2017 |
The Battle of the Beaks | Cadence P. Crockpot |
| February 2, 2017 |
SPENGLETON RELEASES NEW BOOK | Mumphurd Tongs |
| February 2, 2017 |
... Write for The Times! | The Editors |
| February 2, 2017 |
Running in circles? | Alfred Humbleton |
| February 2, 2017 |
ROGUE WOMAN ON CAMPUS | Tom Johnson |
| February 2, 2017 |
An Alarming Attack of Alliteration | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 2, 2017 |
Board of selectmen vote down dinosaur proposal | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 2, 2017 |
Experiments that you Should Probably Know About | Chuulepher "Future Mann" Erp-mangus IV |
| February 2, 2017 |
A Negative Event | Chett Vildermesh |
| February 1, 2017 |
Political Update: Jeb Bush cruises to victory. | Josh Matteo |
| February 1, 2017 |
NERB SPEAKS | Common Observer |
| February 1, 2017 |
RADICALS GO VIOLENT | Undercarriage Roth |
| February 1, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
| February 1, 2017 |
Kind soul does what he can | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| February 1, 2017 |
OPEN QUESTIONS REGARDING THE DYNAMICS OF BALLOONS | Professor Burgowittz |
| February 1, 2017 |
AN UPDATE ON SOUTH WORCESTER | Clarence Mon |
| February 1, 2017 |
Baby Squeezers Spotted, Walking Calmly, Sometimes Grimacing | Zulu Z. Zulu |
| February 1, 2017 |
Letter of the editor | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
| January 31, 2017 |
An Explanation | Doctor Goldstein |
| January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
| January 31, 2017 |
IMPORTANT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY | Professor Burgowittz |
| January 31, 2017 |
That Looks Like This | Common Observer |
| January 31, 2017 |
ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE RECRUITMENT OF NEW WRITERS | The Editors |
| January 31, 2017 |
The Man in the Crows Nest | Ralphie Warbler |