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Date Published Title Author(s)
December 12, 2021 Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle Dernberger Spengleton
December 12, 2021 Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween Dernberger Spengleton
December 12, 2021 What I learned from trading my penis for a VHS copy of "Willow" starring Warwick Davis (Now on Redbox!) Hank T. Joseph
December 12, 2021 Federal Reserve of Thoughts to replace The Federal Reserve Carl Mon
December 12, 2021 Power outage causes slow motion Tom Johnson
December 12, 2021 31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012 Rio Calais
December 12, 2021 Column: Pleakley's Afternoon Pleakley Pow Pow
December 12, 2021 Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst Dernberger Spengleton
December 12, 2021 A Dimension inside a Disco Ball Dernberger Spengleton
December 12, 2021 God Has Second Thoughts Anonymous
December 12, 2021 >Man Obscured By Tuba Dernberger Spengleton
December 12, 2021 Drink Helium For Social Distancing Craig Burroughs
December 12, 2021 Holyman Summons A Party Dernberger Spengleton
December 12, 2021 Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons? Spookas Ghoulgen
December 12, 2021 Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical? Mike O'Really
December 12, 2021 Introduction of Vacuum Tube Transport on UMass Campus Ophelia Jones
December 12, 2021 Stuck in a bug Vidya
December 12, 2021 Free Will Fridays Tom Johnson
December 12, 2021 What is compound neuronal exposure disease? Doctor Cozma
December 12, 2021 Observations of a Dad-like Cryptid Wendy Rutrage
December 12, 2021 Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils Medusa's Tendril
August 23, 2021 The Dangers of An Unlicensed Masseuse Tommy Potentuary
August 23, 2021 Wacky Weather Report, Brought To You By Bozo The Clown Bozo The Clown
August 23, 2021 Mourning Breath The Editors
August 23, 2021 Picnic In The Sahara Dernberger Spengleton
August 23, 2021 New Covid Variant Detected Paul Kruger
August 23, 2021 Legal Question Vladimir
August 23, 2021 Feed Your Brain Instead The Editors
August 23, 2021 Turtle's Dreams The Editors
August 23, 2021 Mental Magnet Erases Hard Drives Dernberger Spengleton
August 23, 2021 Jeff Bezos: Chimpanzee Murderer Paul Kruger
August 23, 2021 Opinion: Animal Testing Is Wrong, Use Furries Instead Dr. Mormonius Rex
August 23, 2021 God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero Tommy Potentuary
August 23, 2021 Recommended Negative Vibe Quota Milbod Hummmmmmmmm
August 23, 2021 New Study Suggests This Is All A 4th Grader’s Fever Dream Ludwig Andre Hogan
August 23, 2021 The Diving Bell And The Butterfly And A Nipple The Editors
August 23, 2021 Monkey Tilt Laws Tom Johnson
August 23, 2021 2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign Paul Kruger
August 23, 2021 The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man The Inanimate Empathist
August 23, 2021 The Completed Observations Of An Oatmeal Beard On A Bus. Melanie Richardson PsyD
August 23, 2021 Simulation Hackday Theodore Munnely
August 23, 2021 Convert Me Daddy! This Could Be A One Buck Pantheon For You. Anonymous
August 23, 2021 Wrestling With Waves And Fish Dernberger Spengleton
July 18, 2021 Woman Steps Out Of The Woods And Changes A Life Forever Vivian Mauve
July 18, 2021 Unusual Teaching Methods At Chiptooth Kindergarten Dernberger Spengleton
July 18, 2021 Unions Oppose Corporate Piano Method Common Observer
July 18, 2021 Talking To Your Child About The Worker Elves That Live In Your Body Lucy Bugle
July 18, 2021 Astronaut Stranded On Lagrange Point Carl Mon
July 18, 2021 Fair Redistribution Of The Bones To Personalities Carl Mon
July 18, 2021 Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! The Mysterious M
July 18, 2021 Surreal Times Bottom Five Under Five. The Editors
July 18, 2021 Once People Walked Here, But Now Only A Few Do. Vivian Mauve
July 18, 2021 Introspecting On The Side Effects Of Divorce Dernberger Spengleton
July 18, 2021 Contagious Hiccupers Required To Glue Kazzoos To Faces Carl Mon
July 18, 2021 Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray Pleakley Pow Pow
July 18, 2021 Add A Lockaway Room To Your Home Tommy Potentuary
July 18, 2021 Brave Dog Stops Home Intruder, Tortures Him In The Basement For 6 Months. Micheal O'Really
July 18, 2021 Dear Jupiter: My Tongue Has Become A Snake! Jupiter
July 18, 2021 Have You Ever Experienced Something … So Bad Vivian Mauve
July 18, 2021 Soldiers Required To Communicate Over Connection-based Protocol Tcp Carl Mon
July 18, 2021 Top 10 Lines To Guarantee Getting A Third Date Big Mama Terrible
July 18, 2021 What Really Happened When A Rodent Teether And A Tobot Roother Kissed. The Speculative Asexual
May 29, 2021 Surreal Times 5 Under 5 List Paul Kruger
May 29, 2021 Synchronicities As A Service Tommy Potentuary
May 29, 2021 Reminder: Your Rights As A Dimension 3 Biped Aldus Humbleton
May 29, 2021 Surreal Times Joins The New York Times The Editors
May 29, 2021 Top 10 Facts About Alligators Big Daddy Terrible
May 29, 2021 Hiccupper Quarantine Camps Carl Mon
May 29, 2021 Are You A Markov Chain? Find Out Now And Get Help? Dernberger Spengleton
May 29, 2021 Legal Notice STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP
May 29, 2021 Weather Forecast for April 2324 God
May 29, 2021 Fractional Reserve Bone Keeping Carl Mon
May 29, 2021 Presidential Orgy Designed To Find Future Moon King Tommy Potentuary
May 29, 2021 Ant Joins Surrealist Journalism Team The Editors
May 29, 2021 Martians Discover Helicopter Drones Tom Johnson
May 29, 2021 Experience New Qualia At Electromagnet World! Tommy Potentuary
May 29, 2021 Correction: Mathematicians On Mars Dernberger Spengleton
May 29, 2021 Immersive Pet Store Aldus Humbleton
May 29, 2021 A Night In The Frothing Chamber Whaler S. Fishpole
May 29, 2021 Fire In The Fractal Factory Dernberger Spengleton
May 29, 2021 Group Attempts To Hypnotize The Gods Dernberger Spengleton
May 29, 2021 Parental Controls For The Eyeballs Tom Johnson
May 29, 2021 Calcium And Nutrients I know how you view my home.
April 9, 2021 Well Well Well Madame Madman
April 9, 2021 From The Mouth of The Pig 36 Armädeius Galouei
April 9, 2021 Surreal Times Aquired By The Argonaut The Editors
April 9, 2021 A New Kind Of Hiccup Carl Mon
April 9, 2021 Meese Herds Return To Home In Sw Ontario. Ellie Zandt-Balmer
April 9, 2021 A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig Zulu Z. Zulu
April 9, 2021 Letter To The Editor Doctor Goldstein
April 9, 2021 A Message From An Ant Stuck In An Ant Farm Ant
April 9, 2021 Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet Dernberger Spengleton
April 9, 2021 Dear Jupiter: Should I Build Robot Lips To Please My Girlfriend? Jupiter
April 9, 2021 Max On The Street: Repeated Exchanging Of Burritos In Cambridge Max R. Normalman
April 9, 2021 Man Convicted Of Crime Against Humanity Bartholomew Bax
April 9, 2021 New Distribution Station In Bombay Beach The Editors
April 9, 2021 Sister Spirits In Old Churchyard? Finnick Lightfoot
April 9, 2021 Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining Paul Kruger
April 9, 2021 Caterpillar Rash Opheila Jones
April 9, 2021 Conversions Overheard Vol. 3: Gulled One Sighting. Ophelia Jones
April 9, 2021 Weird Local Film Festival #5 Advertisement
April 9, 2021 Bone Storage Problems Carl Mon
April 9, 2021 Help! I've Been Kidnapped And Forced To Listen To The Mars Volta Flip Gilligan
April 9, 2021 Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom Dernberger Spengleton
March 12, 2021 Women Re-defines Love Function Dernberger Spengleton
March 12, 2021 Trapped 5ft Off The Ground Eddie Backle
March 12, 2021 Top Tier Goon Drafted For Half-a-million Lenny Abel Hogan
March 12, 2021 Can Bone Removal Prevent The Spread Of Covid? Common Observer
March 12, 2021 Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure Bartholomew Bax
March 12, 2021 Plants With Teeth Strike Fear In Angelinos Carl Mon
March 12, 2021 Legal Notice STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP
March 12, 2021 Multiple Personalities Given Voting Rights Carl Mon
March 12, 2021 The Mouth Roomba - Newest Dental Invention Tommy Potentuary
March 12, 2021 Task Tony Helps Belen Find Love Tony Pepperoni
March 12, 2021 The Octopus Saga: How I Ate A Live Octopus And Formed A Bond With It Paul Kruger
March 12, 2021 Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level Dernberger Spengleton
March 12, 2021 Human-like Pet Store Opens Downtown Tommy Potentuary
March 12, 2021 Capsoul: Color Your Life Advertisement
March 12, 2021 Buddha Beans: Hemp Infused Coffee Advertisement
March 12, 2021 Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero The Mysterious M
March 12, 2021 Amadeus Huntington, The Plant Destroyer Paul Kruger
March 12, 2021 A View Into A Vietnamese Apartment Zulu Z. Zulu
March 12, 2021 Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild Pleakley Pow Pow
March 12, 2021 Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free The Gulled One
February 20, 2021 Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM Zed Murky
February 9, 2021 A Healthy Man Bartholomew Bax
February 9, 2021 A Poem By ZZZ: The Lighthouse Zulu Z. Zulu
February 9, 2021 A Hot Bath Zulu Z. Zulu
February 9, 2021 Why I Became A Lizard Lucard Haugauna
February 9, 2021 The Petri Dish Kids Pleakley Pow Pow
February 9, 2021 University Of California To Introduce Spiritual Evaluation To Admission Process Nicholas M. Sennott
February 9, 2021 Effects Of "caterpillar Rashe" Are Wide Felt Ophelia Jones
February 9, 2021 Rates Of Self-immolation Skyrocket As Melon-man Hands Out Her Last Free Melon. Micheal O’Really
February 9, 2021 New Business In Town: Kid Swap Paul Kruger
February 9, 2021 Man Sneezes; Gets Blessed By Jesus Christ Paul Kruger
February 9, 2021 Open Letter To My Past Self Name Withheld Due To Safety
February 9, 2021 Letter To The Editor Anonymous
February 9, 2021 Costco Burns To The Ground, Destroying Thousands Of Free Samples Mike Hanson
February 9, 2021 Individuals Celebrate Organization Dernberger Spengleton
February 9, 2021 Federal Reserve To Lower Global Brain Coefficient Aldus Humbleton
February 9, 2021 Locals Be Advised: Harrison Honeycrisp Aleister Frost
February 9, 2021 Free Respawn Service Offered Downtown Tommy Potentuary
February 9, 2021 News Pirates Hijack Distribution Box Times Staff
February 9, 2021 Ufos Spark Momentary Cult Carl Mon
February 8, 2021 Lobster Whisperer Teaches Sonar Spoofing, Saves Crustations Dernberger Spengleton
February 8, 2021 Reality Supremacist Operatives Outed From Congress Carl Mon
February 8, 2021 Dentist Starves After Robot Teeth Steal Food Tom Johnson
February 8, 2021 Woman Overdoses On Helium Tom Johnson
February 8, 2021 Those With Single Personalities To Receive Free Personality Multiplexing Therapy Tommy Potentuary
February 8, 2021 Congress Passes Reality Relief Bill Common Observer
February 8, 2021 Blow To Head Changes Ball Player’s Life Forever Dernberger Spengleton
February 8, 2021 Couple Has A Real Marriage Dernberger Spengleton
December 13, 2020 Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy Dernberger Spengleton
December 13, 2020 Oroxtaclüve Sighting Downtown Amherst, Collateral Damage Carl Mon
December 13, 2020 Notice: You May Be Entitled to Money Anonymous
December 13, 2020 Opinion: Humans Should Be Banned Guy Person
December 13, 2020 Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art Jupiter
December 13, 2020 Discovering My Sexy Alien Popstar Alter Ego Anonymous
December 13, 2020 Nation Unites In Anti-vampire Movement Bartholomew Bax
December 13, 2020 LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok Paul Kruger
December 13, 2020 The Truth Behind Turkey Joaquin
December 13, 2020 The Tragedy Of Bug-no-pain-man Ludwig Andre Hogan
December 13, 2020 Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker Madame Madman
December 13, 2020 Aldus Presents: Unperiodic Reminder Aldus Humbleton
December 13, 2020 Easy Alternative Diet Will Help You Lose Weight Tommy Potentuary
December 13, 2020 Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots Carl Mon
December 13, 2020 Anonymous Robot Vandals Ruin The City Aldous Humbleton
December 13, 2020 A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown Dernberger Spengleton
December 13, 2020 Be The Video Game Character You Always Dreamed Of Tommy Potentuary
December 13, 2020 Cdc Now Recommends Three Personalities Per Person Common Observer
December 13, 2020 The Art Of Fishing With Birds, A Beautiful Bond Dernberger Spengleton
December 13, 2020 Cosmic Ju-jitsu Tournament With A Dramatic Finish Tommy Potentuary
December 13, 2020 Help! I Just Can't Get Away From These Beefy Crabs Hubert E. “Eyebrows” Perrywinkler
December 13, 2020 Protests Against Turkey In Space Common Observer
December 7, 2020 Imaginary Divorces Are Skyrocketing Dr Peter Rambis
October 28, 2020 Community Classifieds The Editors
October 28, 2020 Notice To The Public Mike
October 28, 2020 New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas Dernberger Spengleton
October 28, 2020 A Damn Good Case Of The Brownie Bonkers Pleakley Pow Pow
October 28, 2020 Interview With Belinda Burger, The "Googly Eyes" Artist The Mysterious M
October 28, 2020 Bunny Rabbit Rave Hero Dernberger Spengleton
October 28, 2020 Spiders As An Alternative To Music Common Observer
October 28, 2020 Paparazzi Have A Foot Fetish Common Observer
October 28, 2020 Sandcastle Sex Dolls Deemed Unhealthy Tom Johnson
October 28, 2020 “Happy App” Bug Gone Wild Tommy Potentuary
October 28, 2020 Status Of The Realm Of Ideas Aldus Humbleton
October 28, 2020 The Resilience Of Pastrami Man Ludwig Andre Hogan
October 28, 2020 Monkey Phrases Come To Life Adam Stein
October 28, 2020 Pedro Stein, Un Secretary-general: Adam Stein
October 28, 2020 Title: Asian City Under Assault By The Times By: Zulu Z. Zulu
October 28, 2020 The City Of Jehovah Mayor Pete Davidson
October 28, 2020 A Tender Moment Engelbert Humperdinck
October 28, 2020 A Plea For Help From The Planet Of Dearth John Doe
October 28, 2020 Gender Reveal Causes Tornado Bartholomew Bax
October 28, 2020 How To Smoke Dandelions Charleigh Clark
October 28, 2020 Task Tony Episode 1 Tony Pepperoni
October 28, 2020 "Sane Asylum" Opening Near You Tommy Potentuary
October 28, 2020 Write For Us The Editors
October 28, 2020 For Lease: My Grandmother’s Voice In A Box Charleigh Clark
October 28, 2020 10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records Flip Gilligan
September 23, 2020 Community Classifieds Management
September 23, 2020 Pro-Reality Gang Sentenced to Sane Assylum Carl Mon
September 23, 2020 Meet the denizens of my cyst, You Dirty Dog The Inanimate Empathist
September 23, 2020 Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled Vivian Mauve
September 23, 2020 Luxury Space Lake Open for Family Fun Tommy Potentuary
September 23, 2020 Tales of The Kandy Kingpin Doctor Rotcod
September 23, 2020 It Finally Came In The Mail Louie Howden
September 23, 2020 In Troubled Times, Skatebirder Spreads Calm Dernberger Spengleton
September 23, 2020 Questions: Would you Rather? Paul Krueger
September 23, 2020 Drunk Hotline Available Now Tommy Potentuary
September 23, 2020 Please, Replace Your Teeth With Small Rodents Kitty Collins
September 23, 2020 Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself Jupiter
September 23, 2020 Existential Dread Down the Drain Dernberger Spengleton
September 23, 2020 Inexperience Pilots Needed * Advertisement *
September 23, 2020 Sky Bottling Uncovered Pleakley Pow Pow
September 23, 2020 Scooter Coolman Finds A Lover Dernberger Spengleton
September 23, 2020 Dental Delinquent On The Loose Gum Girl
August 16, 2020 WHERE DID PAST MATT HIDE MY CIGARETTES? Future Matt
August 16, 2020 Letters to The Editor Various
August 16, 2020 Alan Partridge Returns With Advice Alan Partridge
August 16, 2020 Blip in The Axioms of The Universe Common Observer
August 16, 2020 Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax Cryptic Mark
August 15, 2020 Profile: The Skatebirder Dernberger Spengleton
August 8, 2020 Preservationism: A Manifesto Leonid Chelmsford
August 6, 2020 Not Enough Karma For Hands Common Observer
August 6, 2020 Airplane Stuck in Orbit Carl Mon
July 29, 2020 Volcano Gods Demand Tribute Grand Elder Edna
July 26, 2020 Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday Tommy Potentuary
July 21, 2020 Account: Hand Sanitizing Vigilantism Saves the World Carl Mon
July 12, 2020 Third Eye's Brew Murry Eyeball
May 27, 2020 Live News Broadcast The Editors
May 17, 2020 Community Classifieds The Editors
May 17, 2020 Man Suffers Cell Merging Disorder Aaron Friedman
May 17, 2020 Love Story Matt Languadoc
May 17, 2020 Bird Funeral, At Least You Know, A Public Notary The Gulled One
May 17, 2020 Wife Dressed Up As Stray Anteater Surprised as Husband Shows Potential for Pet Care Maaye Pujhol
May 12, 2020 Fleeting Touches on Other's Lives Songsinger
May 12, 2020 Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines Theodore Munnely
May 7, 2020 Testy Time Travelers Take Time-out, Investigating Teleportation Hedwig the Hangry
May 7, 2020 Woman Uses Eyeballs as Toys Common Observer
May 7, 2020 Genetics For Hire Doctor Rotcod
May 5, 2020 Let's Paint a Picture: Trout Fishing Vivian Mauve
May 5, 2020 Woman Fell In Love With A Yeast Infection Common Observer
May 5, 2020 Man Wakes Up As Words on The Page of a Book Carl Mon
May 5, 2020 Blargo is Back Billy Nodges
May 5, 2020 Conversations Overheard: Lobster Mac & Cheese Phillis "Psychic Philip" Phillips
May 5, 2020 How "Toxic" By Britney Spears Saved Humankind From Destruction Flip Gilligan
May 5, 2020 Jim Morrison Support Group Meeting Cancelled Surreal Times News Team
April 28, 2020 Attendence Required At Imagining Abundance Event Tommy Potentuary
April 28, 2020 New Trend To Communicate With Babies In Womb Carl Mon
April 26, 2020 A New Generation Of Media Surreal Times News Team
April 23, 2020 Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats Tom Johnson
March 4, 2020 Community Classifieds The Editors
March 1, 2020 Slug Delivery Not Controversial Tommy Potentuary
March 1, 2020 #savecrabs Movement Sweeping The Country Paul Kruger
March 1, 2020 The Banjoman Stalks Amherst Roberto Piccolo
March 1, 2020 The Tree Folk Will Stop The Banjoman Menace By Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko
March 1, 2020 Quiet Mortimer: I Will Cut The Banjomans Strings quiet mortimer
March 1, 2020 “Pimp My Brain” Will Blow Your Mind Tommy Potentuary
March 1, 2020 Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler
March 1, 2020 Letter To The Editor: A Confession Casaul Lucada
March 1, 2020 Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery Freak Funk Frank
March 1, 2020 Selected Not-news Since 1973 Frank Earhorn
March 1, 2020 Discovery Of Junkyard Jukebox: Orchestrion Of Dreams Pleakley Pow Pow
March 1, 2020 Dumpster Squids Migrate To Mud Puddles A Concerned Citizen
March 1, 2020 Dear Jupiter: My Biological Father Is Abraham Lincoln Jupiter
March 1, 2020 Fireworks At The Convergence Bowl Common Observer
February 29, 2020 Piety: A Review Cryptic Mark
February 29, 2020 Rest In Peace With Ripper Linda Ripper Linda
February 29, 2020 Salvation Of Gleez Mission Fails Due To Problematic Greg Kangarth Jragzip
February 29, 2020 Book Review: Voldemort Goes To Hawaii Professor Nutmeg
February 29, 2020 My First Line Training Experience Dernberger Spengleton
February 29, 2020 An Unsolved Case: Hand Disembodiment On The Charles Tom Johnson
February 29, 2020 An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good Vivian Mauve
February 29, 2020 Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work Hockey Face
January 25, 2020 Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton Dernberger Spengleton
January 25, 2020 Community Classifieds The Editors
January 25, 2020 Letter To The Editor: I Warn You: I Watch You And Your Ideas Earth Cow
January 25, 2020 Hair Salad Grows In Your Stomach Whaler S. Fishpole
January 25, 2020 Return Hair Anywhere Spray To The People Whaler S. Fishpole
January 25, 2020 Geography By George: The Kentucky Bend George the Geographer
January 25, 2020 Mutant Animals Want Entrance To The Idea Realm As Well Aldus Humbleton
January 25, 2020 Squid Wrangling Methods Dave Fingle
January 25, 2020 Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead Flip Gilligan
January 25, 2020 Chiptooth Kindergarten Receives Funding, Updates Curriculum Mrs. Porter
January 25, 2020 Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned Vivian Mauve
January 25, 2020 60 More Star Wars Films Planned For Release By 2030 Martin “Marty” Kovacs
January 25, 2020 Collective Cattle Consciousness Claps Carnivores Aldus Humbleton
January 25, 2020 Closet Man Report Delana (DelTaco) Fausett
January 25, 2020 Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity Cryptic Mark
January 25, 2020 Explosive Feast At The Gin Mill Common Observer
January 25, 2020 A Dream Is Simply A Wasted 8-hour Rest Cycle Loomis Taunch
January 25, 2020 Surreal Times Marching Orders The Editors
January 25, 2020 Account: Misinterpretation Of Signs Bresson Frank
January 25, 2020 Conjoined Headmunk Appears Ambivalent Sherry Wolverton
December 6, 2019 Human Hair Salad: Is It Canabalism? Derek Nussbaum
December 6, 2019 An Ancient Graveyard Alan Partridge
December 6, 2019 Is Happy Greens Vegetable Farm An Insidious Cult? Ludwig Andre Hogan
December 6, 2019 Elites Hoard Hair Anywhere Spray Whaler S. Fishpole
December 6, 2019 The Operation Was A Success But The Patient Was Dead The Crooked Spoke
December 6, 2019 Continued Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull Graham Rapier
December 6, 2019 Learn To Lucid Dream Cro Raka
December 6, 2019 Free TV Stand Stolen The Dumb Banana
December 6, 2019 Letter To The Editors: Black Moon Gerald Yelle
December 6, 2019 Advertisement: The Finch Inc. Homing Lobster Finney Finch
December 6, 2019 PIA Defeated By The Reality Supremacists Carl Mon
December 6, 2019 Review Of Maplewood 5 Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton
December 6, 2019 Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! Mrs. Porter
December 6, 2019 Guided Thoughts 2 Aldus Humbleton
December 6, 2019 Designer Birth Control Not Safe Tom Johnson
December 6, 2019 Win Big At The Object Lottery Tommy Potentuary
December 6, 2019 Surrealist Media Organizations Join Forces The Editors
December 6, 2019 Culture Corner: Fiddler On The Roof Opens This Thursday Ridley Stump
December 6, 2019 Account: Hearsay Heresy Soosberg
December 6, 2019 Opinion: Eat Blue Aliens For Morals And Sustainability Aldus Humbleton
December 6, 2019 Rabbit Hole Traps Halt Safety Tom Johnson
December 6, 2019 Sanctuary Animals Uploaded To The Realm Of Ideas Aldus Humbleton
December 6, 2019 Collegian Did Not Start Newsbox Fires Tom Johnson
December 6, 2019 Inanimate Empathist Breaking And Entering Tom Johnson
December 6, 2019 Ball Players Disciplined Sherry Wolverton
December 6, 2019 Builders Leave Backdoors for Tyranical Ants Carl Mon
November 11, 2019 Weather Report WeatherJ
November 11, 2019 Status of the Gord The Gord's Keeper
November 3, 2019 Photo of Revolutionary Unicorn Anonymous
November 2, 2019 Diary Of Edna Cooper Uncovered Edna Cooper
November 2, 2019 Slimeball Secretes When Scared FunkFreakFrank
November 2, 2019 Help Me! Do I Smell Like Cough Syrup? Anonymous ad placer
November 2, 2019 Strange Entity In The Woods Out West Can Send You To A Peaceful Place But You Won’t Ever Return V. Mauve
November 2, 2019 Shoe Communication For My Fellow Shyfolk! ShyGuy
November 2, 2019 Guided Thoughts Number One Aldus Humbleton
November 2, 2019 This Is About You V. Mauve
November 2, 2019 I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas
November 2, 2019 Surprise Inverse Birth Rattles The Community Common Observer
November 2, 2019 Opinion: I Love Tinnitus Chadborne Prendergast
November 2, 2019 A Poem By Death Itself Graham Rapier
November 2, 2019 Newspaper Box Fires Sherry Wolverton
November 2, 2019 Std Ray Gun Stolen Ned Greebly
November 2, 2019 Placenta And Loneliness, At Least For Now The Collective
November 2, 2019 Blue Alien Petting Zoo Coming To Amherst Charlie Tomquat
November 2, 2019 Television Host Ambivalent About His Job Anonymous
November 2, 2019 Fins And Legs Plan An Offspring The Collective
November 2, 2019 Serious Man Failed By His Steed Who Took Too Much Acid The Collective
November 2, 2019 How I Transitioned Into A New Form Anew Nema
November 2, 2019 On Cornflower Blue Thoughts The Collective
November 2, 2019 Tomlinson LLC Experiences Workplace Friction BoobnBob
November 2, 2019 In Pursuit Of A Smooth Marriage BoobnBob
November 2, 2019 The Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull Graham Rapier
November 2, 2019 Droids Invade Love Dr. Harold S. Pirog
November 2, 2019 Hypercube Confessions And The Future Dernberger Spengleton
November 2, 2019 Selected Not-news Since 1973 Frank Earhorn
November 2, 2019 The Carousel Of Unending Happiness Vii Ophelia Jones
November 2, 2019 A Few Words Charleigh Clark
November 2, 2019 Demand: Show Me The Face Of Wisdom Hank T. Joseph
November 2, 2019 What We Crave Clist Cthrutchy
November 2, 2019 A Missive To The Editors Of The Surreal Times Alan Partridge
November 2, 2019 Ant Coordinator Is Criminal, Police Do Nothing Carl Mon
November 2, 2019 The Fate Of Hotdog Attack Victims Carl Mon
November 1, 2019 Dear Jupiter: My Boyfriend Turned Me Into a Vampire And Dumped Me Jupiter
October 23, 2019 Kindergaten Learning Shines Like The Sun Mrs Porter
October 22, 2019 International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest Shock Johnson
October 15, 2019 Fire Breathing Lizards Hatch In Allston M. Mumford
October 15, 2019 The Best Kind of Music: Gregorian Whispering quiet mortimer
October 5, 2019 Reality Supremacists Go Violent Carl Mon
October 5, 2019 Partial Devastation, Questions Follow Maritime Disaster Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr
October 5, 2019 The Carousel of Unending Happiness Your RingMaster
October 5, 2019 Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream Ed Nucklebalm
October 5, 2019 Serial Chakra Unaligner Walks Streets Maximo Piccolo
October 5, 2019 Realm of Ideas at Full Width Aldus Humbleton
October 5, 2019 Basketball Game Turns Into Cooking Game Show Boobnbob
October 5, 2019 Jesus Reincarnated Before My Eyes Dernberger Spengleton
October 5, 2019 Writer Glitches STD Ray Gun Ned Greebly
October 4, 2019 The Film Critic's Homunculus Ryan Cameron
October 4, 2019 Breakthrough: Subtle Divine Contact Theodore Munnely
October 4, 2019 Participate in Novelty on the InterHarmony App Theodore Munnely
October 4, 2019 Intelligent Life Destroying Itself Ferdinand Maxwell
October 4, 2019 Cyborg Baby Causes Chaos in Munich Vidyadama Brencobcharl
October 4, 2019 DJ Gooba To Play at Alien Market Tommy Potentuary
October 3, 2019 Letter From The Foreign Dreams Correspondent Alan Partridge
October 3, 2019 A Short Treatise on Insects and Loneliness Cro Raka
October 3, 2019 Geographic Oddity Between The Stans George The Geographer
October 3, 2019 Gulled One Quiet No More The Gulled One
October 3, 2019 Common Man Builds Amazing Inspectrograph Common Observer
October 3, 2019 An Unexpected Source of Calm Brendovic Leebac
October 3, 2019 PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers Tom Johnson
October 3, 2019 A Letter of Recruitment to a Novelty Prodigy Theodore Munnely
October 3, 2019 Piss Potability Activists Give Us The Piss Himturr Shnottz
October 3, 2019 Ants Join Arms at The Strait of Gibraltar Carl Mon
October 3, 2019 The Conspiracy of The Crows Rudy Raultz
October 3, 2019 Ants Construct Germ Lab With Stolen Viruses Carl Mon
October 3, 2019 Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy Carl Mon
September 26, 2019 Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston Yellow Pete
September 26, 2019 Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself Jupiter
September 19, 2019 Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines The Editors
September 4, 2019 Emergent Artificial Intelligence Sends Cryptic Message Carl Mon
September 4, 2019 The Mechanical Fellow Warns Us of His Counterpart The Mechanical Fellow
September 4, 2019 Mechanical Man Spotted in Boston Samantha Kicsi
September 4, 2019 Dear Jupiter: "I'm a Formless Ball of Light, and I don't want my boyfriend to know." Jupiter
September 4, 2019 Very Small Dinosaur Spotted at Faneuil Hall Eliza Newman
August 30, 2019 A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES Dernberger Spengleton
June 17, 2019 Pioneer Valley Urine Found to Be Not Potable Kenneth Power-Ranger
June 17, 2019 People Advised to Castrate Their Flowers Aldus Humbleton
June 17, 2019 Alien Farmers Market in my Backyard Charlie Tomquat
June 17, 2019 Community Classifieds Management
June 17, 2019 Designer Birth Control on The Rise Tommy Potentuary
June 17, 2019 Ode to Lobotomies Your Neighbor
June 17, 2019 On Underground Electricity Canals Theodore Munnely
June 17, 2019 Optometrist Takes New Approach BoobnBob
June 17, 2019 Blue Wall: Blown to Bits Rio Calais
June 17, 2019 Chimp Joe Safe at Alien Commune Ron Gutterston
June 17, 2019 Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show Common Observer
June 17, 2019 Correspondence on Foreign Dreams Alan Partridge
June 17, 2019 I've Lost My Jack of Hearts The Streuufin-Hoffer Boy
June 17, 2019 Head of PIA Hotdogged Carl Mon
June 17, 2019 Top 13 Ball Moments Sherry Wolverton
June 17, 2019 Logs of Earl Bristol Goddard Published The Purple Hermit
June 17, 2019 Carousel of Unending Happiness Lies In The Home of The Walking Dead Charleigh Clark
June 16, 2019 Account: Victim of Crows Tom Johnson
June 16, 2019 Advanced Carnival Will Do Extraordinary Things Fechy Honcon
June 16, 2019 Death By Halal Tom Johnson
June 16, 2019 Eyeball Juice Stand A Success Tommy Potentuary
May 22, 2019 The Novelty Manifesto Eddie Octo
May 21, 2019 Honey Alliance Coop Opening Its Gates Cro Raka
May 21, 2019 Ant Coordinator Resigns Post Clarence Mon
May 21, 2019 Occultist Ball Graveyard Growing Rapidly Sherry Wolverton
May 21, 2019 A Note on Some People I Met During a Year Spent As Surreal Times Interesting Person Contact Charleigh Clark
May 21, 2019 The Sunken Head Says Bye and Somni Says Hi The Narrator
May 21, 2019 Group of Mistreated Plants Attack Herb Gardens, Flower Beds The Purple Hermit
May 21, 2019 Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation Ron Gutterston
May 21, 2019 Encounters of the Tweener Trinketeer Date Back to Early 70s Melanie Richardson
May 21, 2019 Microscopic Seafarers Discovered at Puffer's Pond Roberto Piccolo
May 21, 2019 The Mechanical Fellow: As The Humans By The Pond Stalk, With The Tiny People I Will Talk Roberto Piccolo
May 21, 2019 Hot Dog Pranks Legal But Not Okay Tom Johnson
May 21, 2019 She's in the Carousel of Unending Happiness Now Your RingMaster
May 21, 2019 My Name is Mr. Terrible And I Just Like to Sneak Around Mr. Terrible
May 16, 2019 The Vow of Loudness Must be Silenced quiet mortimer
May 16, 2019 CALIFORNIA SOCK PUPPET MAN ESCAPES SECRET FACILITY Sax Tuba
May 15, 2019 The Story of Time Cryptic Mark
May 14, 2019 Metal Tree Erected Atop Mountain Clarence Mon
May 14, 2019 In Response to A Study In Cow Pelt And Citrus The Inanimate Empathist
May 13, 2019 These Things Are Innocent Eddy Cruise
May 13, 2019 Mission Statement The Editors
May 13, 2019 The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis Tommy Potentuary
April 20, 2019 Eddie: The Octopus Stings Luap Killner
April 16, 2019 Have You Seen The Balloon With Teeth Melanie Richardson
April 16, 2019 RCSC Distribution Begins Tommy Potentuary
April 16, 2019 Carousel of Unending Happiness Nearing Your RingMaster
April 16, 2019 Man Spots Fire Hydrant In Desert The Editors
April 16, 2019 Woman Rashly Consumes Leg Seed Anonymous
April 16, 2019 Pop Magazine Pivots Focus Away from The Animate BoobnBob
April 16, 2019 Man Grows Auxiliary Mind Clarence Mon
April 16, 2019 Student Has Unconventional Taste Gabriella Grondalski
April 16, 2019 Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali Hank T. Joseph
April 16, 2019 Perspective: Aquarius Is A Bitch Anonymous Offspring
April 16, 2019 Looking Forward to The Return of Toad Kill Flame-Tire Elijah Groust
April 16, 2019 Hooded Woman Dies in Butterfield Dorm Tom Johnson
April 16, 2019 Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap Common Observer
April 16, 2019 Tree-climbing Student Attacked By Spear Tom Johnson
April 16, 2019 Interview With NASA Computer Scientist The Purple Hermit
April 16, 2019 Hot New Place to Live: Centralia Pennsylvania Tommy Potentuary
April 16, 2019 Dorf Deported After Altercations With Serr-Vo and The Mechanical Fellow Ron Gutterston
April 16, 2019 Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy The Mad Shark
April 16, 2019 The Weight of The Job and Who it Weighs On Graham Rapier
April 16, 2019 Mutual Hallucination Vape Pod: Enter the Cave Advertisement
April 16, 2019 Buttler Collective Seeks Information on Hobbling Jelly Filler BoobnBob
April 16, 2019 NASA "Oport2nity" Project Plagued by Unexplained Accidents The Purple Hermit
April 15, 2019 I Speak From Jail: Deluxe Papa is a Menace George S. Halfly
April 12, 2019 Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords William (Bill) Gumby
March 24, 2019 Journalist's Life Partner Goes Missing Tom Johnson
March 14, 2019 Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Cannot Break Out or Be Broken Out Dernberger Spengleton
March 14, 2019 A Majestic Dance: A Crustacean's Art Cro Raka
March 14, 2019 A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus Eddy Cruise
March 14, 2019 &-Pose Trend Sweeping Nation's Youth The Purple Hermit
March 14, 2019 Genius Offers Secrets BoobnBob
March 14, 2019 Revamping Cruel and Unusual Punishment in The Hampshire County Jail Common Observer
March 14, 2019 Wives Aspire to do Psychology Research BoobnBob
March 14, 2019 SGA Elections Delayed By Collective Burp Common Observer
March 13, 2019 Ipsum Communications Satellite Aims Radar at 4th Moon of Jupiter The Purple Hermit
March 13, 2019 Hippo Causes Destruction Downtown BoobnBob
March 13, 2019 Website Down, People Deprived of News Armädeius Galouei
March 13, 2019 Account: I feed Myself to Myself Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler
March 12, 2019 Monstrous House Cat Donated to Shelter Opa Kaanrus
March 12, 2019 The Sunken Head Says "Hi" Anonymous
March 12, 2019 Destroyer of Blimp Going to Jail Tom Johnson
March 12, 2019 Take a Whiff of an Aroma Flick At The Aroma-Theatre Downtown Amherst Tommy Potentuary
March 12, 2019 Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Wishes To Leave His Castle Dernberger Spengleton
March 11, 2019 Profile: The Student Farm's Newest Caretaker The Purple Hermit
March 11, 2019 Mouth of Pig Discovered in Roadside Soup Zulu Z. Zulu
March 11, 2019 Man Who Won't Stop Talking Caught, Applauded Michael O’Really
March 11, 2019 Doorstep Toddlers Stealing Data Tom Johnson
March 7, 2019 Burp Rumbles Across Town Clarence Mon
February 26, 2019 Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly Dernberger Spengleton
February 26, 2019 The Fall of The Former Martian Ambassador The Purple Hermit
February 24, 2019 Minor Scrapes, Tears, In Aftermath of High Rise Collapse Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr
February 22, 2019 Local Student Finally Escapes Infinitely Looping Hallway, Angry He Missed Winter Break Sax Tuba
February 21, 2019 The Carousel of Unending Happiness Just Around a Corner And Under Your Nose Advertisement
February 21, 2019 A Secret Feast in Argentina Cro Raka
February 21, 2019 Knocking for Dreams Somoni Endadid
February 20, 2019 How To Reach the End of The World Cro Raka
February 20, 2019 Geese Departure Pushed Back Again Leila
February 20, 2019 A Study in Cow Pelt and Citrus Eddy Cruise
February 19, 2019 The Wake of The Tabun Needle Tragedy The Editors
February 19, 2019 Obituary: Earnest Earhorn The Earhorn Family
February 19, 2019 Obituary: Chuck Stylish The Stylish Family
February 19, 2019 Obituary: Big Brass Bessie The Editors
February 19, 2019 Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy The People With Repetitive Names Society
February 19, 2019 Obituary: Dingus Hullentail The Hullentail Family
February 19, 2019 Obituary: Agatha Pendleton The Pendleton Family
February 18, 2019 Man In Castle Rejects Tour Dernberger Spengleton
February 18, 2019 Man In The Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Is Disappointed Dernberger Spengleton
February 18, 2019 Humpty: Retold And Reborn Anonymous
February 17, 2019 y2k38 Is Not Just Another y2k Kurt Bonzo
February 17, 2019 High-quality Spot Found Downtown Clarence Mon
February 16, 2019 Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant The Purple Hermit
February 16, 2019 Take The Vow Of Loudness Norman E. Constanza
February 16, 2019 Plane Destroys Blimp, Deadly Tabun Needles Rain Upon Civilians Tom Johnson
February 16, 2019 From The Mouth of The Pig 18 Armädeius Galouei
February 14, 2019 Le’tratte Storage LLC Thriving Tommy Potentuary
February 9, 2019 Cheap Storage in The Sky Tommy Potentuary
February 4, 2019 Dernberger Spengleton Appointed Tender to the Grand Conveyor The Editors
February 2, 2019 The Mechanical Fellow: "Humanity is on track for doom" The Mechanical Fellow
January 29, 2019 The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces Joe Kierlskegrienger
January 28, 2019 Rogue Woman Returns: "The Deadly Touch Tarantula Joe Kierlskegrienger
January 24, 2019 Castle About Which World Rotates: dweller unsatisfied, unable to paint or escape Dernberger Spengleton
January 23, 2019 Chimp Joe Leaves Jail Under Care of Lover Clarence Mon
January 22, 2019 Bill "Nerb" Elsasser to Sue Town For Killing Flowers Common Observer
January 22, 2019 Hair Anywhere Spray Serum Is Successful, Town Plagued by Baldness Page Tottman
January 17, 2019 Serum to Counter Hair Anywhere Spray Tom Johnson
January 17, 2019 Mound of Mixed Greens Appears in Cemetery Clarence Mon
January 13, 2019 Psychoactive Noise Moths Do Not Affect Humans Whaler S. Fishpole
January 9, 2019 Alfred Humbleton Repairing the Spectacular Isomorphism from Within The Realm of Ideas Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate
January 9, 2019 Peripheral Intelligence Agency Opens A New Office In NYC Clarence Mon
January 9, 2019 Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City Dernberger Spengleton
January 9, 2019 Response to "Sinners in The Hands of The Fake Sun" George S. Halfly
January 9, 2019 We Have Been Given Quandaries Tevobet Nope
January 9, 2019 Tabletalk Cries Tommy Origami
January 8, 2019 Man Boasts Castle About Which World Rotates “The oracle to which the world delivers its specimens”
January 7, 2019 Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo Forced Out of The Tree Folk The Editors
January 4, 2019 Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko: "YOU ARE ON NOTICE, SURREAL TIMES" Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko
January 4, 2019 Letter to the Editor: Who is Dorf? George S. Halfly
January 4, 2019 Whole Grain Bread Numbers Rising Clarence Mon
January 4, 2019 The Process Complete: R. Bottleby Gains Vague Telepathic Foresight Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
January 2, 2019 "Carousel of Unending Happiness" Coming This Spring Advertisement
January 2, 2019 Liquid Spewing from Hotel is No Longer Intelligence Boosting Carl Mon
January 2, 2019 Mullen: "You'll Get What You Want" Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler
December 30, 2018 Chimp Joe Found in Midst of Noise Moth Binge Tom Johnson
December 30, 2018 An Attempt on Dr. Linda Peterson's Life Joe Kierlskegrienger
December 27, 2018 Hair Anywhere Spray Banned Across the Pioneer Valley Tom Johnson
December 22, 2018 La Paz: City of Blue and Gold Cro Raka
December 22, 2018 Hampshire County Jail Bans Reptiles Common Observer
December 19, 2018 "Beware The Tabun Needle" Saul Smalls, with the help of an editor surviving the same illness
December 19, 2018 Ongoing Offshoot of Liquid From Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Groundly Mouths Carl Mon
December 19, 2018 Kid Cuppino to Play Amherst Roberto Piccolo
December 18, 2018 Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life Youbus Leeftim
December 18, 2018 Butterfield Hall Uninhabitable Due To Noise Moth Infestation William (Bill) Gumby
December 18, 2018 Felines Divorce Salshim Hearsel
December 18, 2018 Same As It Ever Was .?. Graham Rapier
December 16, 2018 "Force-field" Surrounds Isenberg Campus The Purple Hermit
December 16, 2018 Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
December 14, 2018 Reminder: Inform Children of The Dangers of Cig Jousting Imogene Larkley
December 13, 2018 Use Disassociex© To Fight Hair Anywhere Spray Forests Advertisement
December 13, 2018 Hair Anywhere Spray Engulfs Your Free Time Mistress Tumbly
December 13, 2018 Hair Anywhere Graffiti Grows Back When Cut Joe Tellie
December 12, 2018 Baron of Bullets Releases Cryptic Statement The Editors
December 12, 2018 Former Arms Dealer Assassinated Roberto Piccolo
December 11, 2018 My Visit With The Fugitive Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
December 11, 2018 Cryptid Caught: "Belmontian Gurp" Apprehended in Amherst Sewers Sax Tuba
December 10, 2018 From The Mouth of The Pig 16 Armädeius Galouei
December 4, 2018 Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? Joe Kierlskegrienger
December 3, 2018 May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children Dernberger Spengleton
November 30, 2018 Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident The Purple Hermit
November 27, 2018 Hair Graffiti Growing Wildly Joe Tellie
November 26, 2018 Random Act of Apathy Dernberger Spengleton
November 26, 2018 The Monks Speak: The Mysterious Man Roberto Piccolo
November 26, 2018 Recipe for Alphabet Soup The Editors
November 26, 2018 New Theory Appears in Nazca Cro Raka
November 26, 2018 Honors College Begins Mushroom Operation On Finely-Shredded Hopes and Dreams The Purple Hermit
November 22, 2018 Hair Anywhere Graffiti Scoundrels Run Rampant Tom Johnson
November 21, 2018 Lobster Spawning Brigade Accidentally Descends On Amherst Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
November 19, 2018 Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large Sax Tuba
November 19, 2018 Teenager Looses Tooth Cigarette Jousting Bernard Gigliotti
November 18, 2018 Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Rainbow Colors! Tommy Potentuary
November 18, 2018 Fortune Cookies Throw Insults Tom Johnson
November 16, 2018 Noise Moth Infestation in UMass Dormitory William (Bill) Gumby
November 16, 2018 Obituary: The Gulled One Has Pecked the Bucket The Editors
November 15, 2018 Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms The Purple Hermit
November 15, 2018 The Pentagon Loses Edge, Becomes Square Dr. Oxford
November 13, 2018 "Cigarette Jousting" -- A Danger To Our Youth Rebecca Winston
November 5, 2018 Surreal Paraguay Cro Raka
November 5, 2018 Honor to The Search The Editors
November 5, 2018 Riddles By Eyebrows Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler
October 31, 2018 Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist The Purple Hermit
October 29, 2018 A Letter to a Friend Tossed in The Wind.?. Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler
October 28, 2018 Truck Breeding Season Returns After 100 Year Absence Clarence Mon
October 28, 2018 Words Discover How To Make Love Dernberger Spengleton
October 28, 2018 I Hereby Endorse Whorf's Cactus Balm Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi
October 28, 2018 Whorf's Cactus Balm: A Cure For Degeneracy Emmanuel E. Whorf
October 25, 2018 A New Stage of The Problem of The Upper Half Of The Man Cut into Two By A Window Dernberger Spengleton
October 24, 2018 Hoards of Stolen Personal Diaries Found in Tent in Forest Clarence Mon
October 23, 2018 Ode to Seagulls Carët “Egg” Ozoné
October 21, 2018 Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Stores Tommy Potentuary
October 20, 2018 Scale Replica of Amherst Discovered Miles Under Amherst The Purple Hermit
October 20, 2018 From the mouth of the pig 14 Armädeius Galouei
October 15, 2018 The Surreal Three Split Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
October 15, 2018 I Did Not Give The Surreal Five The Thirteen-Second Frequency Juan Ramirez
October 12, 2018 The Surreal Five Are Now The Surreal Three & Will Make Permanent Their Sickness Roberto Piccolo
October 10, 2018 Mikey Reviews: Woke Foods Inc. - New “Conspiracy” Themed Family Restaurant Mikey McCall
October 9, 2018 We Are Not Kings After All The Purple Hermit
October 9, 2018 The Martians Are Here, and it is Glorious The Purple Hermit
October 7, 2018 Dodge Responsibilites with New Disassociex©! Advertisement
October 5, 2018 Man Shows Vulnerability, Successfully Apprehended Aleister Frost
October 5, 2018 Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children Dernberger Spengleton
October 4, 2018 New Research Out of The University of Dortmund The Editors
October 4, 2018 Community Bikes Sustainably Kick Clarence Mon
October 4, 2018 Beloved Surreal Times Reporter Zulu Z. Zulu Wanted Dead or Alive Giles Squin
October 3, 2018 His Name Is Mr. Terrible and He Just Likes to Sneak Around Ron Gutterston
October 1, 2018 Bonkers Bozos Think the Answer is in The Past Alfred Humbleton
September 30, 2018 "The Thirteen-second Frequency Will Free Us" The Editors
September 29, 2018 Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? Joe Kierlskegrienger
September 27, 2018 Professor Ramirez Reemerges Peter “Mini-P” Petrinski
September 25, 2018 An Overview of Surreality, Surreality Exposure, and Hyper-Mundanity The Editors
September 24, 2018 A Joint Statement From The Surreal Five The Editors
September 23, 2018 Is There A Seven-Second Frequency? Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi
September 20, 2018 Questionable Hustle in Central Park: HUMAN ZOO Tom Johnson
September 19, 2018 The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” The Editors
September 18, 2018 H-33 Explained Eddie Octo
September 17, 2018 Five UMass Students Exposed to Mind-Altering Chemical H-33 Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
September 9, 2018 "I Have Discovered the Parallel Universes", says The Mad Cartographer Richard R. Mohamed
September 3, 2018 Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment Cryptic Mark
August 30, 2018 The Spot Director Kerm Fergus Goes Missing Steve Hackwood
August 27, 2018 The Spot Movie Lands Big Movie in Hot Water Following Alleged Copycat Crimes Steve Hackwood
August 23, 2018 "The Spot" Breaks Box Office Records, Becoming the Most Profitable Movie in History Steve Hackwood
August 19, 2018 The Bigfeet Are Clearly KGB Spooks John Short
August 18, 2018 Bigfeet Are Legal And A "Bigfoot Crusade" Is Out Of The Question Maria Gonzales
August 17, 2018 There Are No Bigfeet In Amherst, Stop This Delusion George S. Halfly
August 16, 2018 The Feathered Travesty: One Naturalist's Thoughts On An Unnatural Matter Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi
August 11, 2018 ”I No Longer Recognize The Tree Folk”: Dazzle-Razzle Speaks Out Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo
August 11, 2018 The Tree Folk Under Pressure: A New Member Raises Tension Roberto Piccolo
August 9, 2018 The Surreal Enforcement Agency Is Formed The Editors
August 9, 2018 The Mechanical Chum: Thoughts On Our New Metal Friend Eddie Octo
August 8, 2018 The Mechanical Fellow Is A Mormon Communist Spook John Short
August 8, 2018 Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
August 5, 2018 AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW Dernberger Spengleton
August 2, 2018 Hope of Interplanetary Cordiality Extinguished Ron Gutterston
July 31, 2018 Realm of Ideas Collapses Momentarily, Conveys Particular Idea Alfred Humbleton
July 30, 2018 April 29th Special Broadcast Times Staff
July 29, 2018 Chimpanzee Joe: "This is Your Second Warning" Chimpanzee Joe
July 29, 2018 Shiftier Than Ever: The Baron Receives 3.2 Billion Dollars Joe Kierlskegrienger
July 29, 2018 In Wake of Cockfighting Bust, Roosters Euthanized Tom Johnson
July 27, 2018 Demon Unveils Foundation Line Roberto Piccolo
July 25, 2018 The Fate of The Cockfighting Roosters Tom Johnson
July 24, 2018 Spanish Monks Time Travel To Amherst Roberto Piccolo
July 21, 2018 Escaped Roosters Wreak Havoc Downtown Tom Johnson
July 21, 2018 Cockfighter's Genetic Medium A Mystery Oswald Avery
July 18, 2018 Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? Joe Kierlskegrienger
July 11, 2018 Baron of Bullets: I Have The Ultimate Weapon Marcus Van Door
July 1, 2018 Terrible Assault on General Consciousness Tiggy Sintrupuli
July 1, 2018 Cockfighting Bust in Northampton Tom Johnson
June 19, 2018 Union of the Clouds Zilches Borders Clarence Mon
June 18, 2018 The Mad Cartographer, We Should Hear Him Out Pablo Little
June 18, 2018 The Mad Cartographer Threatens our City George S. Halfly
May 30, 2018 The Octo Report: "Collision Festival" Takes Off Eddie Octo
May 30, 2018 Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon Tommy Potentuary
May 30, 2018 Internship Position Opens Management
May 30, 2018 Realm Of Ideas Narrows Alfred Humbleton
May 30, 2018 A Recording Of The Ranting Of The Hermenaut Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
May 30, 2018 Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common Dernberger Spengleton
May 30, 2018 Outlaw Killed Or Not Megunticook Stevens
May 30, 2018 Dr. Linda Peterson Sentenced To Seven Years Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
May 30, 2018 Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun Dernberger Spengleton
May 30, 2018 Silence That Pretentious Octopus Chimpanzee Joe
May 30, 2018 We Can All Take A Hint From This Sandwich Anarchy Pablo Little
May 30, 2018 Cloud Anchor Proposed, P.I.A. Investigating Clarence Mon
May 30, 2018 Members Of The Atonal Music Listening Club Nowhere To Be Found Common Observer
May 30, 2018 Newspaper Spawns Subsidiary Adventure Capital Firm The Editors
May 30, 2018 Murderer To Be Executed Old Souls Anonymous
April 20, 2018 Craigslist Post Appears Offering Bicycle Day Deal Common Observer
April 19, 2018 Arkansas Howler Arrested After Altercation With Neighbors Roberto Piccolo
April 19, 2018 Government To Begin Investigation of The 'Shower Act' Cryptic Mark
April 19, 2018 Fountain Of Youth Located Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
April 19, 2018 Intelligent Computer Worm On The Loose Tom Johnson
April 19, 2018 Harsh Sanctions, No Charges To Follow Recent Miniature Automobile Collision Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr
April 19, 2018 On The Bihexical Search Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate
April 19, 2018 Musical Fun All Around Dernberger Spengleton
April 19, 2018 Sightings Of Doppelgangers In The South Cro Raka
April 19, 2018 Hotline Hotline Goes Offline Indefinitely Tommy Potentuary
April 19, 2018 Dj Hawk Radio Passes Along Dernberger Spengleton
April 19, 2018 2nd Annual Acupuncture Social Loomis Taunch
April 19, 2018 Elderly Man Carves Crop Circles For Charity Common Observer
April 19, 2018 A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... Tom Johnson
April 19, 2018 The Hermenaut Blasts Himself Into Orbit Roberto Piccolo
April 19, 2018 The New Hermit: Selena Sneebly Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
April 19, 2018 Writer Criticism Phantom Framer
April 19, 2018 New Column: Ask G.G. For Advice G.G.
April 13, 2018 THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE Joe Kierlskegrienger
March 28, 2018 Writing Competition Finished! Winners announced! Dr. Dan Nibbler
March 15, 2018 Television Show Pilot Flops Tommy Potentuary
March 15, 2018 Possibilities Involving Outlets Wes Sizemore
March 15, 2018 Spear of Destiny Stolen From Auction Roberto Piccolo
March 15, 2018 Malicious Koi Robs World of Nwidvee Dernberger Spengleton
March 15, 2018 Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm Dernberger Spengleton
March 15, 2018 Problematic Advertisements Plague Amherst Common Observer
March 15, 2018 Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism Dernberger Spengleton
March 15, 2018 Giant Injured in Stupor Tom Johnson
March 15, 2018 Letter to The Editor Joseph Altmann
March 15, 2018 Upcoming Event: Art Takes on Art Loomis Taunch
March 15, 2018 The Balloon: Part 2 Old Souls Anonymous
March 15, 2018 Tokens Retracted From Worldly Citizens, New Source Recommended Alfred Humbleton
March 11, 2018 The Arkansas Howler Returns Joe Kierlskegrienger
March 11, 2018 Young Adult Discovers Charm of Mother's Historic Technology Marina Parella
March 11, 2018 Piece of Surreal Engine Found Near Fault Line, Becomes Prize Dr. Dan Nibbler
March 11, 2018 Carnival Observed in The South Cro Raka
March 11, 2018 Head of Atonal Music Appreciation Club Silently Outed Common Observer
March 11, 2018 Hotline Hotline Prototype Released Tommy Potentuary
March 11, 2018 Bounty Placed on Fountain of Youth Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
March 3, 2018 THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE Joe Kierlskegrienger
February 27, 2018 ANNOUNCEMENTS REGARDING THE WRITING COMPETITION AND THE PRIZE The Editors
February 25, 2018 Mail Truck Crash, Strong Impression on Witnesses Patty Geortenhul
February 25, 2018 The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered Dernberger Spengleton
February 25, 2018 Burgowittz Resigns The Editors
February 25, 2018 An Inspiring and Virtuous Tale Unfolds Before Our Eyes Earnest
February 25, 2018 The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 Old Souls Anonymous
February 25, 2018 Hampshire County Jail & House of Corrections Re-Opens Common Observer
February 24, 2018 P.S.A. Regarding Meteor Impacts Jonothan Woodruff
February 24, 2018 A Depraved Scene Among Our Youth Chef Xenu Zorelli
February 20, 2018 Obituary: Ryan Patrick Johnson The Editors
February 20, 2018 New Gameshow, Pilot Episode Airs Tonight Tommy Potentuary
February 20, 2018 Juggling Machine Brings Infinite Storage to the Common Man Professor Burgowittz
February 20, 2018 Interesting Trend Spreads Across South America Cro Raka
February 20, 2018 Norwottuck Rail Trail to be Extended Dernberger Spengleton
February 20, 2018 The Rise Together Corporation Falls Roberto Piccolo
February 14, 2018 THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE Joe Kierlskegrienger
February 8, 2018 Eyrie Eyrie House Hotel Is Recieving Guests Again Cro Raka
February 8, 2018 Events Unfold At The Vatican Dernberger Spengleton
February 8, 2018 Anonymous Tape Left At Journalist's Home The Editors
January 22, 2018 Goose Gingertop Deployed Jang Ben
January 22, 2018 Faith Can Move Mountains Dernberger Spengleton
January 17, 2018 The State ~?
January 17, 2018 Introducing the Portable Surreal Engine Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
January 17, 2018 A Love Supreme J.D.
January 17, 2018 Accountant Wanted Jonathan Smith Johnson
January 17, 2018 PSA: Keep Animals Inside Joe Kierlskegrienger
January 17, 2018 The Princess Presents: Rope Arms ^Goliath Common Observer
January 16, 2018 MONSTROSITY APPROACHING Clarence Mon
January 11, 2018 Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column Dennis Horizontal Hands
December 31, 2017 Breaking News: Hordes Gather At San Andreas Fault Line The Editors
December 31, 2017 Bad Collision, Many Steeds Totalled Common Observer
December 31, 2017 Milkwalker Sightings Cro Raka
December 31, 2017 Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade Alfred Humbleton
December 25, 2017 Ant Pursues Fountain of Youth Joe Kierlskegrienger
December 25, 2017 The Wait Is Over! Our Sources Confirm That Godot Will In Fact Arrive Tomorrow! Vladimir
December 25, 2017 The New Assault on Rationality Roberto Piccolo
December 23, 2017 Wisdom From Archeology Worm Professor Burgowittz
December 23, 2017 A PICKLE TO THE PREFRONTAL Wes Sizemore
December 23, 2017 Response to that Lousy Chimp Doctor Goldstein
December 23, 2017 Leaning Tower Falling Earnest
December 16, 2017 Researchers Discover Cure For Excessive Sanity Joe Kierlskegrienger
December 16, 2017 A Trail of Ashes J.D.
December 16, 2017 The New Mexico Surreal Engine Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel
December 15, 2017 The Surreal Web Died Today Priestess Charlene
December 12, 2017 Howler Howls His Last Joe Kierlskegrienger
December 4, 2017 A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts J.D.
December 4, 2017 Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG Dernberger Spengleton
November 30, 2017 Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants Wes Sizemore
November 28, 2017 Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? Anonymous
November 28, 2017 What's So Great About Language Anyway? Chimpanzee Joe
November 28, 2017 Letter to The Editor A Concerned Mother
November 28, 2017 Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt Dernberger Spengleton
November 23, 2017 William Blanket Found Guilty of Existential Malpractice J.D.
November 20, 2017 Local Boys Learns Not To Lie Cro Raka
November 16, 2017 At The Foot of The Altar Doctor Goldstein
November 15, 2017 Symptoms of the New Avian Flu Colette
November 14, 2017 Catching Up With The Arkansas Howler Joe Kierlskegrienger
November 11, 2017 University Holds Degree Buyback Program Wes Sizemore
November 11, 2017 Bihexical Search #5 Armädeius Galouei
November 11, 2017 Music Review: PC Music, vol 1 By Various Artists Paul Kleiner
November 11, 2017 The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson Praa Para
November 9, 2017 Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness Dernberger Spengleton
November 9, 2017 Prose Poem From Recent Festival The Editors
November 2, 2017 Local Boy Falls Into iPhone, Loses Thumb J.D.
October 31, 2017 Woman Receives Information From Afar Dernberger Spengleton
October 27, 2017 My Search For Enlightenment in these Forsaken Times Reverend Garland Hobbes
October 26, 2017 Stolen Gurgleer Clarence Mon
October 24, 2017 Letter to the Fake Sun S. Smalls
October 24, 2017 Love Letter to My Future Wife Armädeius Galouei
October 19, 2017 Mathematicians Speak Out Suthagorous
October 18, 2017 Interested in Buying a Soul? Cro Raka
October 17, 2017 Young People Try To Start Careers Cryptic Mark
October 15, 2017 UMass Football Goes Gorillas Wes Sizemore
October 15, 2017 Bihexical search #4 Armädeius Galouei
October 5, 2017 From the mouth of the pig #4 Armädeius Galouei
October 3, 2017 Let's Talk About This Whole Human Thing Chimpanzee Joe
September 26, 2017 The Times, Hiring an Assistant Weatherman The Editors
September 25, 2017 Squanderers of the Molecule of Life! Professor Burgowittz
September 25, 2017 The Schizo Report The Voices
September 23, 2017 More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry Cro Raka
September 22, 2017 Couple Does a Marriage Cryptic Mark
September 13, 2017 Surreal Newsroom on 9/14/2017 Dernberger Spengleton
September 7, 2017 Earthwater Entities Mount Escape to Calm Alfred Humbleton
September 4, 2017 Sermon #4 - Our Great Final Neglect Reverend Garland Hobbes
August 10, 2017 Hungry Parakeet Scandal Common Observer
August 4, 2017 The Eclipse and A Call To Action Reverend Garland Hobbes
August 4, 2017 Call to action for the second coming Reverend Garland Hobbes
July 27, 2017 U.S. Scientists Edit Embryo DNA Professor Burgowittz
July 5, 2017 Dragonflies, Mind Control, Polar Bears & Oil Clarence Mon
June 19, 2017 Splinter Zulu Z. Zulu
June 14, 2017 Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems Clarence Mon
June 1, 2017 Disc Jam Descending on Stephenstown NY Doctor Goldstein
May 19, 2017 A Quick Rewind Zulu Z. Zulu
May 7, 2017 Bihexical Search #3 Armädeius Galouei
May 3, 2017 OBITUARY: TRUTH HAS DEPARTED THIS LIFE Dernberger Spengleton
April 26, 2017 A Visit From The Bird Cro Raka
April 26, 2017 Mysterious Ring Stumbled Upon Cro Raka
April 25, 2017 LOW-TEMP VOLCANO ERUPTS Earnest
April 10, 2017 Large Idea Rotisserie Halts, The Unlegged Rise, The Sun Continues to Shine Alfred Humbleton
April 3, 2017 Acupuncture Social to be hosted at the Fine Arts Center! Loomis Taunch
April 3, 2017 Acupuncture Social at the FAC! Loomis Taunch
April 1, 2017 Anarchy Among Our Youth! Clarence Mon
March 31, 2017 Protest by the Tree Folk Moriarty Collins
March 31, 2017 Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th Hank T. Joseph
March 21, 2017 The Zebra Convention Unfolds Armadeius Galouei
March 17, 2017 Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant Dernberger Spengleton
March 8, 2017 Three Generalizations Chuulepher "Future Mann" Erp-mangus IV
March 6, 2017 A closer look at Headly, an employee at franklin dining commons Ron Gutterston
March 3, 2017 Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen Cro Raka
March 2, 2017 ZZZ PUTS WORDS TO SPENGLETON'S CURVES Zulu Z. Zulu
March 2, 2017 Tsunami Hits Western Mass Professor Burgowittz
March 1, 2017 Ice jam aborted Alfred Humbleton
February 24, 2017 Dr. John and Charles Neville to bring New Orleans to Northampton Doctor Goldstein
February 2, 2017 The Man in the Nest Doctor Goldstein
February 2, 2017 A look at the creature of North Amherst Ron Gutterston
February 2, 2017 UMass seeks energy crown Clarence Mon
February 2, 2017 BURGOWITTZ FOOLISH, UNWISE Jameson Eldar
February 2, 2017 The Battle of the Beaks Cadence P. Crockpot
February 2, 2017 SPENGLETON RELEASES NEW BOOK Mumphurd Tongs
February 2, 2017 NEW ART GALLERY OPENING The Editors
February 2, 2017 Running in circles? Alfred Humbleton
February 2, 2017 ROGUE WOMAN ON CAMPUS Tom Johnson
February 2, 2017 Board of selectmen vote down dinosaur proposal Professor Burgowittz
February 2, 2017 A peculiar occurrence Dernberger Spengleton
February 2, 2017 New Bihexical Search! (#2) Armädeius Galouei
February 2, 2017 A Negative Event Chett Vildermesh
February 2, 2017 Hooligans steal truck Anonymous
February 1, 2017 Political Update: Jeb Bush cruises to victory. Josh Matteo
February 1, 2017 NERB SPEAKS Common Observer
February 1, 2017 A Most Bizarre Questionnaire Zulu Z. Zulu
February 1, 2017 RADICALS GO VIOLENT Undercarriage Roth
February 1, 2017 A peculiar occurence Dernberger Spengleton
February 1, 2017 Ride The Wave of Humble Digs Doctor Goldstein
February 1, 2017 Kind soul does what he can Reverend Garland Hobbes
February 1, 2017 OPEN QUESTIONS REGARDING THE DYNAMICS OF BALLOONS Professor Burgowittz
February 1, 2017 The Man made of Black Doctor Goldstein
February 1, 2017 AN UPDATE ON SOUTH WORCESTER Clarence Mon
February 1, 2017 This We Cannot Allow Dr. Evans
February 1, 2017 Slam your head against the wall William Howard
February 1, 2017 Letter to the editor Emanuel Gumft
February 1, 2017 Botany can really Ruffle Feathers Armädeius Galouei
February 1, 2017 Baby Squeezers Spotted, Walking Calmly, Sometimes Grimacing Zulu Z. Zulu
February 1, 2017 Letter of the editor Reverend Garland Hobbes
January 31, 2017 An Explanation Doctor Goldstein
January 31, 2017 A peculiar occurence Dernberger Spengleton
January 31, 2017 IMPORTANT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY Professor Burgowittz
January 31, 2017 DOG SEEN CLIMBING TREE Dernberger Spengleton and Purple Buffalo
January 31, 2017 That Looks Like This Common Observer
January 31, 2017 This grass is too damn prickly. Alfred Humbleton
January 31, 2017 ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE RECRUITMENT OF NEW WRITERS The Editors
January 31, 2017 The Man in the Crows Nest Ralphie Warbler