Date Published |
Title |
Author(s) |
December 12, 2021 |
Nippled Bird, Mime Engage in Psychic Energy Battle | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 12, 2021 |
Sound Worm Havoc On Halloween | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 12, 2021 |
What I learned from trading my penis for a VHS copy of "Willow" starring Warwick Davis (Now on Redbox!) | Hank T. Joseph |
December 12, 2021 |
Federal Reserve of Thoughts to replace The Federal Reserve | Carl Mon |
December 12, 2021 |
Power outage causes slow motion | Tom Johnson |
December 12, 2021 |
31 Year old Woman Lodged Somewhat Firmly in Year 2012 | Rio Calais |
December 12, 2021 |
Column: Pleakley's Afternoon | Pleakley Pow Pow |
December 12, 2021 |
Anti-Clown Attacks in Amherst | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 12, 2021 |
A Dimension inside a Disco Ball | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 12, 2021 |
God Has Second Thoughts | Anonymous |
December 12, 2021 |
>Man Obscured By Tuba | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 12, 2021 |
Drink Helium For Social Distancing | Craig Burroughs |
December 12, 2021 |
Holyman Summons A Party | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 12, 2021 |
Opinion: What’s So Scary About Skeletons? | Spookas Ghoulgen |
December 12, 2021 |
Youth League Competitive Rotten Cheese Eating: Is it Ethical? | Mike O'Really |
December 12, 2021 |
Introduction of Vacuum Tube Transport on UMass Campus | Ophelia Jones |
December 12, 2021 |
Stuck in a bug | Vidya |
December 12, 2021 |
Free Will Fridays | Tom Johnson |
December 12, 2021 |
What is compound neuronal exposure disease? | Doctor Cozma |
December 12, 2021 |
Observations of a Dad-like Cryptid | Wendy Rutrage |
December 12, 2021 |
Martian Medusa And Her Scheming Tendrils | Medusa's Tendril |
August 23, 2021 |
The Dangers of An Unlicensed Masseuse | Tommy Potentuary |
August 23, 2021 |
Wacky Weather Report, Brought To You By Bozo The Clown | Bozo The Clown |
August 23, 2021 |
Mourning Breath | The Editors |
August 23, 2021 |
Picnic In The Sahara | Dernberger Spengleton |
August 23, 2021 |
New Covid Variant Detected | Paul Kruger |
August 23, 2021 |
Legal Question | Vladimir |
August 23, 2021 |
Feed Your Brain Instead | The Editors |
August 23, 2021 |
Turtle's Dreams | The Editors |
August 23, 2021 |
Mental Magnet Erases Hard Drives | Dernberger Spengleton |
August 23, 2021 |
Jeff Bezos: Chimpanzee Murderer | Paul Kruger |
August 23, 2021 |
Opinion: Animal Testing Is Wrong, Use Furries Instead | Dr. Mormonius Rex |
August 23, 2021 |
God On Strike, Birthrate Drops To Zero | Tommy Potentuary |
August 23, 2021 |
Recommended Negative Vibe Quota | Milbod Hummmmmmmmm |
August 23, 2021 |
New Study Suggests This Is All A 4th Grader’s Fever Dream | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
August 23, 2021 |
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly And A Nipple | The Editors |
August 23, 2021 |
Monkey Tilt Laws | Tom Johnson |
August 23, 2021 |
2024 Presidential Candidate Announces Height Equality Campaign | Paul Kruger |
August 23, 2021 |
The Arson Streak Because Of The Absence Of The Melon Man | The Inanimate Empathist |
August 23, 2021 |
The Completed Observations Of An Oatmeal Beard On A Bus. | Melanie Richardson PsyD |
August 23, 2021 |
Simulation Hackday | Theodore Munnely |
August 23, 2021 |
Convert Me Daddy! This Could Be A One Buck Pantheon For You. | Anonymous |
August 23, 2021 |
Wrestling With Waves And Fish | Dernberger Spengleton |
July 18, 2021 |
Woman Steps Out Of The Woods And Changes A Life Forever | Vivian Mauve |
July 18, 2021 |
Unusual Teaching Methods At Chiptooth Kindergarten | Dernberger Spengleton |
July 18, 2021 |
Unions Oppose Corporate Piano Method | Common Observer |
July 18, 2021 |
Talking To Your Child About The Worker Elves That Live In Your Body | Lucy Bugle |
July 18, 2021 |
Astronaut Stranded On Lagrange Point | Carl Mon |
July 18, 2021 |
Fair Redistribution Of The Bones To Personalities | Carl Mon |
July 18, 2021 |
Psa: Beware Of Surreal Times Imposters! | The Mysterious M |
July 18, 2021 |
Surreal Times Bottom Five Under Five. | The Editors |
July 18, 2021 |
Once People Walked Here, But Now Only A Few Do. | Vivian Mauve |
July 18, 2021 |
Introspecting On The Side Effects Of Divorce | Dernberger Spengleton |
July 18, 2021 |
Contagious Hiccupers Required To Glue Kazzoos To Faces | Carl Mon |
July 18, 2021 |
Furry Feminism Revitalizes Hair Anywherespray | Pleakley Pow Pow |
July 18, 2021 |
Add A Lockaway Room To Your Home | Tommy Potentuary |
July 18, 2021 |
Brave Dog Stops Home Intruder, Tortures Him In The Basement For 6 Months. | Micheal O'Really |
July 18, 2021 |
Dear Jupiter: My Tongue Has Become A Snake! | Jupiter |
July 18, 2021 |
Have You Ever Experienced Something … So Bad | Vivian Mauve |
July 18, 2021 |
Soldiers Required To Communicate Over Connection-based Protocol Tcp | Carl Mon |
July 18, 2021 |
Top 10 Lines To Guarantee Getting A Third Date | Big Mama Terrible |
July 18, 2021 |
What Really Happened When A Rodent Teether And A Tobot Roother Kissed. | The Speculative Asexual |
May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times 5 Under 5 List | Paul Kruger |
May 29, 2021 |
Synchronicities As A Service | Tommy Potentuary |
May 29, 2021 |
Reminder: Your Rights As A Dimension 3 Biped | Aldus Humbleton |
May 29, 2021 |
Surreal Times Joins The New York Times | The Editors |
May 29, 2021 |
Top 10 Facts About Alligators | Big Daddy Terrible |
May 29, 2021 |
Hiccupper Quarantine Camps | Carl Mon |
May 29, 2021 |
Are You A Markov Chain? Find Out Now And Get Help? | Dernberger Spengleton |
May 29, 2021 |
Legal Notice | STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
May 29, 2021 |
Weather Forecast for April 2324 | God |
May 29, 2021 |
Fractional Reserve Bone Keeping | Carl Mon |
May 29, 2021 |
Presidential Orgy Designed To Find Future Moon King | Tommy Potentuary |
May 29, 2021 |
Ant Joins Surrealist Journalism Team | The Editors |
May 29, 2021 |
Martians Discover Helicopter Drones | Tom Johnson |
May 29, 2021 |
Experience New Qualia At Electromagnet World! | Tommy Potentuary |
May 29, 2021 |
Correction: Mathematicians On Mars | Dernberger Spengleton |
May 29, 2021 |
Immersive Pet Store | Aldus Humbleton |
May 29, 2021 |
A Night In The Frothing Chamber | Whaler S. Fishpole |
May 29, 2021 |
Fire In The Fractal Factory | Dernberger Spengleton |
May 29, 2021 |
Group Attempts To Hypnotize The Gods | Dernberger Spengleton |
May 29, 2021 |
Parental Controls For The Eyeballs | Tom Johnson |
May 29, 2021 |
Calcium And Nutrients | I know how you view my home. |
April 9, 2021 |
Well Well Well | Madame Madman |
April 9, 2021 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 36 | Armädeius Galouei |
April 9, 2021 |
Surreal Times Aquired By The Argonaut | The Editors |
April 9, 2021 |
A New Kind Of Hiccup | Carl Mon |
April 9, 2021 |
Meese Herds Return To Home In Sw Ontario. | Ellie Zandt-Balmer |
April 9, 2021 |
A Call To Immediate Action: Baconize The Pig | Zulu Z. Zulu |
April 9, 2021 |
Letter To The Editor | Doctor Goldstein |
April 9, 2021 |
A Message From An Ant Stuck In An Ant Farm | Ant |
April 9, 2021 |
Gravity Preppers Wear Bricks On Their Feet | Dernberger Spengleton |
April 9, 2021 |
Dear Jupiter: Should I Build Robot Lips To Please My Girlfriend? | Jupiter |
April 9, 2021 |
Max On The Street: Repeated Exchanging Of Burritos In Cambridge | Max R. Normalman |
April 9, 2021 |
Man Convicted Of Crime Against Humanity | Bartholomew Bax |
April 9, 2021 |
New Distribution Station In Bombay Beach | The Editors |
April 9, 2021 |
Sister Spirits In Old Churchyard? | Finnick Lightfoot |
April 9, 2021 |
Op-ed: Proposal To Replace Presidential Debates With Something Much More Entertaining | Paul Kruger |
April 9, 2021 |
Caterpillar Rash | Opheila Jones |
April 9, 2021 |
Conversions Overheard Vol. 3: Gulled One Sighting. | Ophelia Jones |
April 9, 2021 |
Weird Local Film Festival #5 | Advertisement |
April 9, 2021 |
Bone Storage Problems | Carl Mon |
April 9, 2021 |
Help! I've Been Kidnapped And Forced To Listen To The Mars Volta | Flip Gilligan |
April 9, 2021 |
Opinion: Free The Oil, Help It To Freedom | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 12, 2021 |
Women Re-defines Love Function | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 12, 2021 |
Trapped 5ft Off The Ground | Eddie Backle |
March 12, 2021 |
Top Tier Goon Drafted For Half-a-million | Lenny Abel Hogan |
March 12, 2021 |
Can Bone Removal Prevent The Spread Of Covid? | Common Observer |
March 12, 2021 |
Disgraced Surgeon Pioneers Eyeball Relocation Procedure | Bartholomew Bax |
March 12, 2021 |
Plants With Teeth Strike Fear In Angelinos | Carl Mon |
March 12, 2021 |
Legal Notice | STEINHOUSE STEINHOUSE & STEINHOUSE LLP |
March 12, 2021 |
Multiple Personalities Given Voting Rights | Carl Mon |
March 12, 2021 |
The Mouth Roomba - Newest Dental Invention | Tommy Potentuary |
March 12, 2021 |
Task Tony Helps Belen Find Love | Tony Pepperoni |
March 12, 2021 |
The Octopus Saga: How I Ate A Live Octopus And Formed A Bond With It | Paul Kruger |
March 12, 2021 |
Couple Brings Their Relationship To The Next Level | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 12, 2021 |
Human-like Pet Store Opens Downtown | Tommy Potentuary |
March 12, 2021 |
Capsoul: Color Your Life | Advertisement |
March 12, 2021 |
Buddha Beans: Hemp Infused Coffee | Advertisement |
March 12, 2021 |
Boxman: Amherst’s Newest Superhero | The Mysterious M |
March 12, 2021 |
Amadeus Huntington, The Plant Destroyer | Paul Kruger |
March 12, 2021 |
A View Into A Vietnamese Apartment | Zulu Z. Zulu |
March 12, 2021 |
Clay Catastrophe: Metamorphic Earth Gone Wild | Pleakley Pow Pow |
March 12, 2021 |
Coughing, Swallowed, Forgotten, Free | The Gulled One |
February 20, 2021 |
Ricky Amadour: Artist, Designer, Musician - THE NEWEST CANDIDATE IN OUR BRAIN EATER PROGRAM | Zed Murky |
February 9, 2021 |
A Healthy Man | Bartholomew Bax |
February 9, 2021 |
A Poem By ZZZ: The Lighthouse | Zulu Z. Zulu |
February 9, 2021 |
A Hot Bath | Zulu Z. Zulu |
February 9, 2021 |
Why I Became A Lizard | Lucard Haugauna |
February 9, 2021 |
The Petri Dish Kids | Pleakley Pow Pow |
February 9, 2021 |
University Of California To Introduce Spiritual Evaluation To Admission Process | Nicholas M. Sennott |
February 9, 2021 |
Effects Of "caterpillar Rashe" Are Wide Felt | Ophelia Jones |
February 9, 2021 |
Rates Of Self-immolation Skyrocket As Melon-man Hands Out Her Last Free Melon. | Micheal O’Really |
February 9, 2021 |
New Business In Town: Kid Swap | Paul Kruger |
February 9, 2021 |
Man Sneezes; Gets Blessed By Jesus Christ | Paul Kruger |
February 9, 2021 |
Open Letter To My Past Self | Name Withheld Due To Safety |
February 9, 2021 |
Letter To The Editor | Anonymous |
February 9, 2021 |
Costco Burns To The Ground, Destroying Thousands Of Free Samples | Mike Hanson |
February 9, 2021 |
Individuals Celebrate Organization | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 9, 2021 |
Federal Reserve To Lower Global Brain Coefficient | Aldus Humbleton |
February 9, 2021 |
Locals Be Advised: Harrison Honeycrisp | Aleister Frost |
February 9, 2021 |
Free Respawn Service Offered Downtown | Tommy Potentuary |
February 9, 2021 |
News Pirates Hijack Distribution Box | Times Staff |
February 9, 2021 |
Ufos Spark Momentary Cult | Carl Mon |
February 8, 2021 |
Lobster Whisperer Teaches Sonar Spoofing, Saves Crustations | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 8, 2021 |
Reality Supremacist Operatives Outed From Congress | Carl Mon |
February 8, 2021 |
Dentist Starves After Robot Teeth Steal Food | Tom Johnson |
February 8, 2021 |
Woman Overdoses On Helium | Tom Johnson |
February 8, 2021 |
Those With Single Personalities To Receive Free Personality Multiplexing Therapy | Tommy Potentuary |
February 8, 2021 |
Congress Passes Reality Relief Bill | Common Observer |
February 8, 2021 |
Blow To Head Changes Ball Player’s Life Forever | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 8, 2021 |
Couple Has A Real Marriage | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 13, 2020 |
Juggle Fighting Championship Spurs Controversy | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 13, 2020 |
Oroxtaclüve Sighting Downtown Amherst, Collateral Damage | Carl Mon |
December 13, 2020 |
Notice: You May Be Entitled to Money | Anonymous |
December 13, 2020 |
Opinion: Humans Should Be Banned | Guy Person |
December 13, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: I Can Only Express Myself Through Elaborate Performance Art | Jupiter |
December 13, 2020 |
Discovering My Sexy Alien Popstar Alter Ego | Anonymous |
December 13, 2020 |
Nation Unites In Anti-vampire Movement | Bartholomew Bax |
December 13, 2020 |
LA City Government Rumored To Be Buying Tiktok | Paul Kruger |
December 13, 2020 |
The Truth Behind Turkey | Joaquin |
December 13, 2020 |
The Tragedy Of Bug-no-pain-man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
December 13, 2020 |
Etymological Erotica: Meat Your Maker | Madame Madman |
December 13, 2020 |
Aldus Presents: Unperiodic Reminder | Aldus Humbleton |
December 13, 2020 |
Easy Alternative Diet Will Help You Lose Weight | Tommy Potentuary |
December 13, 2020 |
Man Replaces Teeth With Small Robots | Carl Mon |
December 13, 2020 |
Anonymous Robot Vandals Ruin The City | Aldous Humbleton |
December 13, 2020 |
A Look Into The "Sane Asylum" Downtown | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 13, 2020 |
Be The Video Game Character You Always Dreamed Of | Tommy Potentuary |
December 13, 2020 |
Cdc Now Recommends Three Personalities Per Person | Common Observer |
December 13, 2020 |
The Art Of Fishing With Birds, A Beautiful Bond | Dernberger Spengleton |
December 13, 2020 |
Cosmic Ju-jitsu Tournament With A Dramatic Finish | Tommy Potentuary |
December 13, 2020 |
Help! I Just Can't Get Away From These Beefy Crabs | Hubert E. “Eyebrows” Perrywinkler |
December 13, 2020 |
Protests Against Turkey In Space | Common Observer |
December 7, 2020 |
Imaginary Divorces Are Skyrocketing | Dr Peter Rambis |
October 28, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
October 28, 2020 |
Notice To The Public | Mike |
October 28, 2020 |
New Hairstyle Taking over Paquaint Areas | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 28, 2020 |
A Damn Good Case Of The Brownie Bonkers | Pleakley Pow Pow |
October 28, 2020 |
Interview With Belinda Burger, The "Googly Eyes" Artist | The Mysterious M |
October 28, 2020 |
Bunny Rabbit Rave Hero | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 28, 2020 |
Spiders As An Alternative To Music | Common Observer |
October 28, 2020 |
Paparazzi Have A Foot Fetish | Common Observer |
October 28, 2020 |
Sandcastle Sex Dolls Deemed Unhealthy | Tom Johnson |
October 28, 2020 |
“Happy App” Bug Gone Wild | Tommy Potentuary |
October 28, 2020 |
Status Of The Realm Of Ideas | Aldus Humbleton |
October 28, 2020 |
The Resilience Of Pastrami Man | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
October 28, 2020 |
Monkey Phrases Come To Life | Adam Stein |
October 28, 2020 |
Pedro Stein, Un Secretary-general: | Adam Stein |
October 28, 2020 |
Title: Asian City Under Assault By The Times | By: Zulu Z. Zulu |
October 28, 2020 |
The City Of Jehovah | Mayor Pete Davidson |
October 28, 2020 |
A Tender Moment | Engelbert Humperdinck |
October 28, 2020 |
A Plea For Help From The Planet Of Dearth | John Doe |
October 28, 2020 |
Gender Reveal Causes Tornado | Bartholomew Bax |
October 28, 2020 |
How To Smoke Dandelions | Charleigh Clark |
October 28, 2020 |
Task Tony Episode 1 | Tony Pepperoni |
October 28, 2020 |
"Sane Asylum" Opening Near You | Tommy Potentuary |
October 28, 2020 |
Write For Us | The Editors |
October 28, 2020 |
For Lease: My Grandmother’s Voice In A Box | Charleigh Clark |
October 28, 2020 |
10 Essential Weasel Montgomery Jones Records | Flip Gilligan |
September 23, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
September 23, 2020 |
Pro-Reality Gang Sentenced to Sane Assylum | Carl Mon |
September 23, 2020 |
Meet the denizens of my cyst, You Dirty Dog | The Inanimate Empathist |
September 23, 2020 |
Exciting Performance At Exhibit to be Unveiled | Vivian Mauve |
September 23, 2020 |
Luxury Space Lake Open for Family Fun | Tommy Potentuary |
September 23, 2020 |
Tales of The Kandy Kingpin | Doctor Rotcod |
September 23, 2020 |
It Finally Came In The Mail | Louie Howden |
September 23, 2020 |
In Troubled Times, Skatebirder Spreads Calm | Dernberger Spengleton |
September 23, 2020 |
Questions: Would you Rather? | Paul Krueger |
September 23, 2020 |
Drunk Hotline Available Now | Tommy Potentuary |
September 23, 2020 |
Please, Replace Your Teeth With Small Rodents | Kitty Collins |
September 23, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Best Friend Froze Herself | Jupiter |
September 23, 2020 |
Existential Dread Down the Drain | Dernberger Spengleton |
September 23, 2020 |
Inexperience Pilots Needed | * Advertisement * |
September 23, 2020 |
Sky Bottling Uncovered | Pleakley Pow Pow |
September 23, 2020 |
Scooter Coolman Finds A Lover | Dernberger Spengleton |
September 23, 2020 |
Dental Delinquent On The Loose | Gum Girl |
August 16, 2020 |
WHERE DID PAST MATT HIDE MY CIGARETTES? | Future Matt |
August 16, 2020 |
Letters to The Editor | Various |
August 16, 2020 |
Alan Partridge Returns With Advice | Alan Partridge |
August 16, 2020 |
Blip in The Axioms of The Universe | Common Observer |
August 16, 2020 |
Big Animal Planet or Big Animal Hoax | Cryptic Mark |
August 15, 2020 |
Profile: The Skatebirder | Dernberger Spengleton |
August 8, 2020 |
Preservationism: A Manifesto | Leonid Chelmsford |
August 6, 2020 |
Not Enough Karma For Hands | Common Observer |
August 6, 2020 |
Airplane Stuck in Orbit | Carl Mon |
July 29, 2020 |
Volcano Gods Demand Tribute | Grand Elder Edna |
July 26, 2020 |
Probabilistic Fatal Justice System To Take Effect Monday | Tommy Potentuary |
July 21, 2020 |
Account: Hand Sanitizing Vigilantism Saves the World | Carl Mon |
July 12, 2020 |
Third Eye's Brew | Murry Eyeball |
May 27, 2020 |
Live News Broadcast | The Editors |
May 17, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
May 17, 2020 |
Man Suffers Cell Merging Disorder | Aaron Friedman |
May 17, 2020 |
Love Story | Matt Languadoc |
May 17, 2020 |
Bird Funeral, At Least You Know, A Public Notary | The Gulled One |
May 17, 2020 |
Wife Dressed Up As Stray Anteater Surprised as Husband Shows Potential for Pet Care | Maaye Pujhol |
May 12, 2020 |
Fleeting Touches on Other's Lives | Songsinger |
May 12, 2020 |
Line Life: Health and Wellness using Lines | Theodore Munnely |
May 7, 2020 |
Testy Time Travelers Take Time-out, Investigating Teleportation | Hedwig the Hangry |
May 7, 2020 |
Woman Uses Eyeballs as Toys | Common Observer |
May 7, 2020 |
Genetics For Hire | Doctor Rotcod |
May 5, 2020 |
Let's Paint a Picture: Trout Fishing | Vivian Mauve |
May 5, 2020 |
Woman Fell In Love With A Yeast Infection | Common Observer |
May 5, 2020 |
Man Wakes Up As Words on The Page of a Book | Carl Mon |
May 5, 2020 |
Blargo is Back | Billy Nodges |
May 5, 2020 |
Conversations Overheard: Lobster Mac & Cheese | Phillis "Psychic Philip" Phillips |
May 5, 2020 |
How "Toxic" By Britney Spears Saved Humankind From Destruction | Flip Gilligan |
May 5, 2020 |
Jim Morrison Support Group Meeting Cancelled | Surreal Times News Team |
April 28, 2020 |
Attendence Required At Imagining Abundance Event | Tommy Potentuary |
April 28, 2020 |
New Trend To Communicate With Babies In Womb | Carl Mon |
April 26, 2020 |
A New Generation Of Media | Surreal Times News Team |
April 23, 2020 |
Invasive Tree Grows Writhing Rats | Tom Johnson |
March 4, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
March 1, 2020 |
Slug Delivery Not Controversial | Tommy Potentuary |
March 1, 2020 |
#savecrabs Movement Sweeping The Country | Paul Kruger |
March 1, 2020 |
The Banjoman Stalks Amherst | Roberto Piccolo |
March 1, 2020 |
The Tree Folk Will Stop The Banjoman Menace | By Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko |
March 1, 2020 |
Quiet Mortimer: I Will Cut The Banjomans Strings | quiet mortimer |
March 1, 2020 |
“Pimp My Brain” Will Blow Your Mind | Tommy Potentuary |
March 1, 2020 |
Pupil Stage Of Noise Moths Discovered | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
March 1, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: A Confession | Casaul Lucada |
March 1, 2020 |
Woman Plays Violin During Brain Surgery | Freak Funk Frank |
March 1, 2020 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
March 1, 2020 |
Discovery Of Junkyard Jukebox: Orchestrion Of Dreams | Pleakley Pow Pow |
March 1, 2020 |
Dumpster Squids Migrate To Mud Puddles | A Concerned Citizen |
March 1, 2020 |
Dear Jupiter: My Biological Father Is Abraham Lincoln | Jupiter |
March 1, 2020 |
Fireworks At The Convergence Bowl | Common Observer |
February 29, 2020 |
Piety: A Review | Cryptic Mark |
February 29, 2020 |
Rest In Peace With Ripper Linda | Ripper Linda |
February 29, 2020 |
Salvation Of Gleez Mission Fails Due To Problematic Greg | Kangarth Jragzip |
February 29, 2020 |
Book Review: Voldemort Goes To Hawaii | Professor Nutmeg |
February 29, 2020 |
My First Line Training Experience | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 29, 2020 |
An Unsolved Case: Hand Disembodiment On The Charles | Tom Johnson |
February 29, 2020 |
An Encounter With The Demon That Does Good | Vivian Mauve |
February 29, 2020 |
Horror Film Critics Putting Masked Maniacs Out Of Work | Hockey Face |
January 25, 2020 |
Demon that Does Good Visits Easthampton | Dernberger Spengleton |
January 25, 2020 |
Community Classifieds | The Editors |
January 25, 2020 |
Letter To The Editor: I Warn You: I Watch You And Your Ideas | Earth Cow |
January 25, 2020 |
Hair Salad Grows In Your Stomach | Whaler S. Fishpole |
January 25, 2020 |
Return Hair Anywhere Spray To The People | Whaler S. Fishpole |
January 25, 2020 |
Geography By George: The Kentucky Bend | George the Geographer |
January 25, 2020 |
Mutant Animals Want Entrance To The Idea Realm As Well | Aldus Humbleton |
January 25, 2020 |
Squid Wrangling Methods | Dave Fingle |
January 25, 2020 |
Flip Gilligan's Guide For Listening To "kid A" By Radiohead | Flip Gilligan |
January 25, 2020 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Receives Funding, Updates Curriculum | Mrs. Porter |
January 25, 2020 |
Man Who Habitully Covers Himself In Twigs At Ball Field Questioned | Vivian Mauve |
January 25, 2020 |
60 More Star Wars Films Planned For Release By 2030 | Martin “Marty” Kovacs |
January 25, 2020 |
Collective Cattle Consciousness Claps Carnivores | Aldus Humbleton |
January 25, 2020 |
Closet Man Report | Delana (DelTaco) Fausett |
January 25, 2020 |
Two Friends Discuss The Nature Of Mind, Body, And Personal Identity | Cryptic Mark |
January 25, 2020 |
Explosive Feast At The Gin Mill | Common Observer |
January 25, 2020 |
A Dream Is Simply A Wasted 8-hour Rest Cycle | Loomis Taunch |
January 25, 2020 |
Surreal Times Marching Orders | The Editors |
January 25, 2020 |
Account: Misinterpretation Of Signs | Bresson Frank |
January 25, 2020 |
Conjoined Headmunk Appears Ambivalent | Sherry Wolverton |
December 6, 2019 |
Human Hair Salad: Is It Canabalism? | Derek Nussbaum |
December 6, 2019 |
An Ancient Graveyard | Alan Partridge |
December 6, 2019 |
Is Happy Greens Vegetable Farm An Insidious Cult? | Ludwig Andre Hogan |
December 6, 2019 |
Elites Hoard Hair Anywhere Spray | Whaler S. Fishpole |
December 6, 2019 |
The Operation Was A Success But The Patient Was Dead | The Crooked Spoke |
December 6, 2019 |
Continued Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull | Graham Rapier |
December 6, 2019 |
Learn To Lucid Dream | Cro Raka |
December 6, 2019 |
Free TV Stand Stolen | The Dumb Banana |
December 6, 2019 |
Letter To The Editors: Black Moon | Gerald Yelle |
December 6, 2019 |
Advertisement: The Finch Inc. Homing Lobster | Finney Finch |
December 6, 2019 |
PIA Defeated By The Reality Supremacists | Carl Mon |
December 6, 2019 |
Review Of Maplewood 5 | Vivian Mauve and Dernernberger Spengleton |
December 6, 2019 |
Chiptooth Kindergarten Holiday Auditing! | Mrs. Porter |
December 6, 2019 |
Guided Thoughts 2 | Aldus Humbleton |
December 6, 2019 |
Designer Birth Control Not Safe | Tom Johnson |
December 6, 2019 |
Win Big At The Object Lottery | Tommy Potentuary |
December 6, 2019 |
Surrealist Media Organizations Join Forces | The Editors |
December 6, 2019 |
Culture Corner: Fiddler On The Roof Opens This Thursday | Ridley Stump |
December 6, 2019 |
Account: Hearsay Heresy | Soosberg |
December 6, 2019 |
Opinion: Eat Blue Aliens For Morals And Sustainability | Aldus Humbleton |
December 6, 2019 |
Rabbit Hole Traps Halt Safety | Tom Johnson |
December 6, 2019 |
Sanctuary Animals Uploaded To The Realm Of Ideas | Aldus Humbleton |
December 6, 2019 |
Collegian Did Not Start Newsbox Fires | Tom Johnson |
December 6, 2019 |
Inanimate Empathist Breaking And Entering | Tom Johnson |
December 6, 2019 |
Ball Players Disciplined | Sherry Wolverton |
December 6, 2019 |
Builders Leave Backdoors for Tyranical Ants | Carl Mon |
November 11, 2019 |
Weather Report | WeatherJ |
November 11, 2019 |
Status of the Gord | The Gord's Keeper |
November 3, 2019 |
Photo of Revolutionary Unicorn | Anonymous |
November 2, 2019 |
Diary Of Edna Cooper Uncovered | Edna Cooper |
November 2, 2019 |
Slimeball Secretes When Scared | FunkFreakFrank |
November 2, 2019 |
Help Me! Do I Smell Like Cough Syrup? | Anonymous ad placer |
November 2, 2019 |
Strange Entity In The Woods Out West Can Send You To A Peaceful Place But You Won’t Ever Return | V. Mauve |
November 2, 2019 |
Shoe Communication For My Fellow Shyfolk! | ShyGuy |
November 2, 2019 |
Guided Thoughts Number One | Aldus Humbleton |
November 2, 2019 |
This Is About You | V. Mauve |
November 2, 2019 |
I Almost Joined A Cult And Was Glad About It | V. Mauve and Sebastian Pingas |
November 2, 2019 |
Surprise Inverse Birth Rattles The Community | Common Observer |
November 2, 2019 |
Opinion: I Love Tinnitus | Chadborne Prendergast |
November 2, 2019 |
A Poem By Death Itself | Graham Rapier |
November 2, 2019 |
Newspaper Box Fires | Sherry Wolverton |
November 2, 2019 |
Std Ray Gun Stolen | Ned Greebly |
November 2, 2019 |
Placenta And Loneliness, At Least For Now | The Collective |
November 2, 2019 |
Blue Alien Petting Zoo Coming To Amherst | Charlie Tomquat |
November 2, 2019 |
Television Host Ambivalent About His Job | Anonymous |
November 2, 2019 |
Fins And Legs Plan An Offspring | The Collective |
November 2, 2019 |
Serious Man Failed By His Steed Who Took Too Much Acid | The Collective |
November 2, 2019 |
How I Transitioned Into A New Form | Anew Nema |
November 2, 2019 |
On Cornflower Blue Thoughts | The Collective |
November 2, 2019 |
Tomlinson LLC Experiences Workplace Friction | BoobnBob |
November 2, 2019 |
In Pursuit Of A Smooth Marriage | BoobnBob |
November 2, 2019 |
The Last Journals Of Klip The Seagull | Graham Rapier |
November 2, 2019 |
Droids Invade Love | Dr. Harold S. Pirog |
November 2, 2019 |
Hypercube Confessions And The Future | Dernberger Spengleton |
November 2, 2019 |
Selected Not-news Since 1973 | Frank Earhorn |
November 2, 2019 |
The Carousel Of Unending Happiness Vii | Ophelia Jones |
November 2, 2019 |
A Few Words | Charleigh Clark |
November 2, 2019 |
Demand: Show Me The Face Of Wisdom | Hank T. Joseph |
November 2, 2019 |
What We Crave | Clist Cthrutchy |
November 2, 2019 |
A Missive To The Editors Of The Surreal Times | Alan Partridge |
November 2, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Is Criminal, Police Do Nothing | Carl Mon |
November 2, 2019 |
The Fate Of Hotdog Attack Victims | Carl Mon |
November 1, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: My Boyfriend Turned Me Into a Vampire And Dumped Me | Jupiter |
October 23, 2019 |
Kindergaten Learning Shines Like The Sun | Mrs Porter |
October 22, 2019 |
International Arms Deal At The Snake's Nest | Shock Johnson |
October 15, 2019 |
Fire Breathing Lizards Hatch In Allston | M. Mumford |
October 15, 2019 |
The Best Kind of Music: Gregorian Whispering | quiet mortimer |
October 5, 2019 |
Reality Supremacists Go Violent | Carl Mon |
October 5, 2019 |
Partial Devastation, Questions Follow Maritime Disaster | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
October 5, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness | Your RingMaster |
October 5, 2019 |
Sex With Brain Parasites Goes Mainstream | Ed Nucklebalm |
October 5, 2019 |
Serial Chakra Unaligner Walks Streets | Maximo Piccolo |
October 5, 2019 |
Realm of Ideas at Full Width | Aldus Humbleton |
October 5, 2019 |
Basketball Game Turns Into Cooking Game Show | Boobnbob |
October 5, 2019 |
Jesus Reincarnated Before My Eyes | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 5, 2019 |
Writer Glitches STD Ray Gun | Ned Greebly |
October 4, 2019 |
The Film Critic's Homunculus | Ryan Cameron |
October 4, 2019 |
Breakthrough: Subtle Divine Contact | Theodore Munnely |
October 4, 2019 |
Participate in Novelty on the InterHarmony App | Theodore Munnely |
October 4, 2019 |
Intelligent Life Destroying Itself | Ferdinand Maxwell |
October 4, 2019 |
Cyborg Baby Causes Chaos in Munich | Vidyadama Brencobcharl |
October 4, 2019 |
DJ Gooba To Play at Alien Market | Tommy Potentuary |
October 3, 2019 |
Letter From The Foreign Dreams Correspondent | Alan Partridge |
October 3, 2019 |
A Short Treatise on Insects and Loneliness | Cro Raka |
October 3, 2019 |
Geographic Oddity Between The Stans | George The Geographer |
October 3, 2019 |
Gulled One Quiet No More | The Gulled One |
October 3, 2019 |
Common Man Builds Amazing Inspectrograph | Common Observer |
October 3, 2019 |
An Unexpected Source of Calm | Brendovic Leebac |
October 3, 2019 |
PSA To Wet Robot Canoodlers | Tom Johnson |
October 3, 2019 |
A Letter of Recruitment to a Novelty Prodigy | Theodore Munnely |
October 3, 2019 |
Piss Potability Activists Give Us The Piss | Himturr Shnottz |
October 3, 2019 |
Ants Join Arms at The Strait of Gibraltar | Carl Mon |
October 3, 2019 |
The Conspiracy of The Crows | Rudy Raultz |
October 3, 2019 |
Ants Construct Germ Lab With Stolen Viruses | Carl Mon |
October 3, 2019 |
Weaponized Hair-Moss Hybrid Super Spy | Carl Mon |
September 26, 2019 |
Surreal Yodeller Walks the Streets of Boston | Yellow Pete |
September 26, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: I Am Jealous of The Alternate-Reality Version of Myself | Jupiter |
September 19, 2019 |
Magazine Joins the Surrealist Frontlines | The Editors |
September 4, 2019 |
Emergent Artificial Intelligence Sends Cryptic Message | Carl Mon |
September 4, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Warns Us of His Counterpart | The Mechanical Fellow |
September 4, 2019 |
Mechanical Man Spotted in Boston | Samantha Kicsi |
September 4, 2019 |
Dear Jupiter: "I'm a Formless Ball of Light, and I don't want my boyfriend to know." | Jupiter |
September 4, 2019 |
Very Small Dinosaur Spotted at Faneuil Hall | Eliza Newman |
August 30, 2019 |
A CALL TO ACTION ON THE SURREALIST FRONTLINES | Dernberger Spengleton |
June 17, 2019 |
Pioneer Valley Urine Found to Be Not Potable | Kenneth Power-Ranger |
June 17, 2019 |
People Advised to Castrate Their Flowers | Aldus Humbleton |
June 17, 2019 |
Alien Farmers Market in my Backyard | Charlie Tomquat |
June 17, 2019 |
Community Classifieds | Management |
June 17, 2019 |
Designer Birth Control on The Rise | Tommy Potentuary |
June 17, 2019 |
Ode to Lobotomies | Your Neighbor |
June 17, 2019 |
On Underground Electricity Canals | Theodore Munnely |
June 17, 2019 |
Optometrist Takes New Approach | BoobnBob |
June 17, 2019 |
Blue Wall: Blown to Bits | Rio Calais |
June 17, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Safe at Alien Commune | Ron Gutterston |
June 17, 2019 |
Carny Hosts Mindfulness Game Show | Common Observer |
June 17, 2019 |
Correspondence on Foreign Dreams | Alan Partridge |
June 17, 2019 |
I've Lost My Jack of Hearts | The Streuufin-Hoffer Boy |
June 17, 2019 |
Head of PIA Hotdogged | Carl Mon |
June 17, 2019 |
Top 13 Ball Moments | Sherry Wolverton |
June 17, 2019 |
Logs of Earl Bristol Goddard Published | The Purple Hermit |
June 17, 2019 |
Carousel of Unending Happiness Lies In The Home of The Walking Dead | Charleigh Clark |
June 16, 2019 |
Account: Victim of Crows | Tom Johnson |
June 16, 2019 |
Advanced Carnival Will Do Extraordinary Things | Fechy Honcon |
June 16, 2019 |
Death By Halal | Tom Johnson |
June 16, 2019 |
Eyeball Juice Stand A Success | Tommy Potentuary |
May 22, 2019 |
The Novelty Manifesto | Eddie Octo |
May 21, 2019 |
Honey Alliance Coop Opening Its Gates | Cro Raka |
May 21, 2019 |
Ant Coordinator Resigns Post | Clarence Mon |
May 21, 2019 |
Occultist Ball Graveyard Growing Rapidly | Sherry Wolverton |
May 21, 2019 |
A Note on Some People I Met During a Year Spent As Surreal Times Interesting Person Contact | Charleigh Clark |
May 21, 2019 |
The Sunken Head Says Bye and Somni Says Hi | The Narrator |
May 21, 2019 |
Group of Mistreated Plants Attack Herb Gardens, Flower Beds | The Purple Hermit |
May 21, 2019 |
Grieving in the Wake of An Idiot Alien's Deportation | Ron Gutterston |
May 21, 2019 |
Encounters of the Tweener Trinketeer Date Back to Early 70s | Melanie Richardson |
May 21, 2019 |
Microscopic Seafarers Discovered at Puffer's Pond | Roberto Piccolo |
May 21, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow: As The Humans By The Pond Stalk, With The Tiny People I Will Talk | Roberto Piccolo |
May 21, 2019 |
Hot Dog Pranks Legal But Not Okay | Tom Johnson |
May 21, 2019 |
She's in the Carousel of Unending Happiness Now | Your RingMaster |
May 21, 2019 |
My Name is Mr. Terrible And I Just Like to Sneak Around | Mr. Terrible |
May 16, 2019 |
The Vow of Loudness Must be Silenced | quiet mortimer |
May 16, 2019 |
CALIFORNIA SOCK PUPPET MAN ESCAPES SECRET FACILITY | Sax Tuba |
May 15, 2019 |
The Story of Time | Cryptic Mark |
May 14, 2019 |
Metal Tree Erected Atop Mountain | Clarence Mon |
May 14, 2019 |
In Response to A Study In Cow Pelt And Citrus | The Inanimate Empathist |
May 13, 2019 |
These Things Are Innocent | Eddy Cruise |
May 13, 2019 |
Mission Statement | The Editors |
May 13, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow Saves Us From The Noise Moths Crisis | Tommy Potentuary |
April 20, 2019 |
Eddie: The Octopus Stings | Luap Killner |
April 16, 2019 |
Have You Seen The Balloon With Teeth | Melanie Richardson |
April 16, 2019 |
RCSC Distribution Begins | Tommy Potentuary |
April 16, 2019 |
Carousel of Unending Happiness Nearing | Your RingMaster |
April 16, 2019 |
Man Spots Fire Hydrant In Desert | The Editors |
April 16, 2019 |
Woman Rashly Consumes Leg Seed | Anonymous |
April 16, 2019 |
Pop Magazine Pivots Focus Away from The Animate | BoobnBob |
April 16, 2019 |
Man Grows Auxiliary Mind | Clarence Mon |
April 16, 2019 |
Student Has Unconventional Taste | Gabriella Grondalski |
April 16, 2019 |
Need For Charles: Darling Haunted in Cali | Hank T. Joseph |
April 16, 2019 |
Perspective: Aquarius Is A Bitch | Anonymous Offspring |
April 16, 2019 |
Looking Forward to The Return of Toad Kill Flame-Tire | Elijah Groust |
April 16, 2019 |
Hooded Woman Dies in Butterfield Dorm | Tom Johnson |
April 16, 2019 |
Spengleton's Partner Returns to Instigate a Novel Swap | Common Observer |
April 16, 2019 |
Tree-climbing Student Attacked By Spear | Tom Johnson |
April 16, 2019 |
Interview With NASA Computer Scientist | The Purple Hermit |
April 16, 2019 |
Hot New Place to Live: Centralia Pennsylvania | Tommy Potentuary |
April 16, 2019 |
Dorf Deported After Altercations With Serr-Vo and The Mechanical Fellow | Ron Gutterston |
April 16, 2019 |
Account: The Mad Shark of The Monarchy | The Mad Shark |
April 16, 2019 |
The Weight of The Job and Who it Weighs On | Graham Rapier |
April 16, 2019 |
Mutual Hallucination Vape Pod: Enter the Cave | Advertisement |
April 16, 2019 |
Buttler Collective Seeks Information on Hobbling Jelly Filler | BoobnBob |
April 16, 2019 |
NASA "Oport2nity" Project Plagued by Unexplained Accidents | The Purple Hermit |
April 15, 2019 |
I Speak From Jail: Deluxe Papa is a Menace | George S. Halfly |
April 12, 2019 |
Noise Moths Escape Dorm, Ravage Vocal Cords | William (Bill) Gumby |
March 24, 2019 |
Journalist's Life Partner Goes Missing | Tom Johnson |
March 14, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Cannot Break Out or Be Broken Out | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 14, 2019 |
A Majestic Dance: A Crustacean's Art | Cro Raka |
March 14, 2019 |
A Study In Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
March 14, 2019 |
&-Pose Trend Sweeping Nation's Youth | The Purple Hermit |
March 14, 2019 |
Genius Offers Secrets | BoobnBob |
March 14, 2019 |
Revamping Cruel and Unusual Punishment in The Hampshire County Jail | Common Observer |
March 14, 2019 |
Wives Aspire to do Psychology Research | BoobnBob |
March 14, 2019 |
SGA Elections Delayed By Collective Burp | Common Observer |
March 13, 2019 |
Ipsum Communications Satellite Aims Radar at 4th Moon of Jupiter | The Purple Hermit |
March 13, 2019 |
Hippo Causes Destruction Downtown | BoobnBob |
March 13, 2019 |
Website Down, People Deprived of News | Armädeius Galouei |
March 13, 2019 |
Account: I feed Myself to Myself | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
March 12, 2019 |
Monstrous House Cat Donated to Shelter | Opa Kaanrus |
March 12, 2019 |
The Sunken Head Says "Hi" | Anonymous |
March 12, 2019 |
Destroyer of Blimp Going to Jail | Tom Johnson |
March 12, 2019 |
Take a Whiff of an Aroma Flick At The Aroma-Theatre Downtown Amherst | Tommy Potentuary |
March 12, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-World-Rotates Wishes To Leave His Castle | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 11, 2019 |
Profile: The Student Farm's Newest Caretaker | The Purple Hermit |
March 11, 2019 |
Mouth of Pig Discovered in Roadside Soup | Zulu Z. Zulu |
March 11, 2019 |
Man Who Won't Stop Talking Caught, Applauded | Michael O’Really |
March 11, 2019 |
Doorstep Toddlers Stealing Data | Tom Johnson |
March 7, 2019 |
Burp Rumbles Across Town | Clarence Mon |
February 26, 2019 |
Man In Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Becomes Sickly | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 26, 2019 |
The Fall of The Former Martian Ambassador | The Purple Hermit |
February 24, 2019 |
Minor Scrapes, Tears, In Aftermath of High Rise Collapse | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
February 22, 2019 |
Local Student Finally Escapes Infinitely Looping Hallway, Angry He Missed Winter Break | Sax Tuba |
February 21, 2019 |
The Carousel of Unending Happiness Just Around a Corner And Under Your Nose | Advertisement |
February 21, 2019 |
A Secret Feast in Argentina | Cro Raka |
February 21, 2019 |
Knocking for Dreams | Somoni Endadid |
February 20, 2019 |
How To Reach the End of The World | Cro Raka |
February 20, 2019 |
Geese Departure Pushed Back Again | Leila |
February 20, 2019 |
A Study in Cow Pelt and Citrus | Eddy Cruise |
February 19, 2019 |
The Wake of The Tabun Needle Tragedy | The Editors |
February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Earnest Earhorn | The Earhorn Family |
February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Chuck Stylish | The Stylish Family |
February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Big Brass Bessie | The Editors |
February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Jeremy J. Jeremy | The People With Repetitive Names Society |
February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Dingus Hullentail | The Hullentail Family |
February 19, 2019 |
Obituary: Agatha Pendleton | The Pendleton Family |
February 18, 2019 |
Man In Castle Rejects Tour | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 18, 2019 |
Man In The Castle-About-Which-The-World-Rotates Is Disappointed | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 18, 2019 |
Humpty: Retold And Reborn | Anonymous |
February 17, 2019 |
y2k38 Is Not Just Another y2k | Kurt Bonzo |
February 17, 2019 |
High-quality Spot Found Downtown | Clarence Mon |
February 16, 2019 |
Archeological Records Suggest UMass Amherst is An Eternal Constant | The Purple Hermit |
February 16, 2019 |
Take The Vow Of Loudness | Norman E. Constanza |
February 16, 2019 |
Plane Destroys Blimp, Deadly Tabun Needles Rain Upon Civilians | Tom Johnson |
February 16, 2019 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 18 | Armädeius Galouei |
February 14, 2019 |
Le’tratte Storage LLC Thriving | Tommy Potentuary |
February 9, 2019 |
Cheap Storage in The Sky | Tommy Potentuary |
February 4, 2019 |
Dernberger Spengleton Appointed Tender to the Grand Conveyor | The Editors |
February 2, 2019 |
The Mechanical Fellow: "Humanity is on track for doom" | The Mechanical Fellow |
January 29, 2019 |
The Living Fountainhead: Sally Gomez Surfaces | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
January 28, 2019 |
Rogue Woman Returns: "The Deadly Touch Tarantula | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
January 24, 2019 |
Castle About Which World Rotates: dweller unsatisfied, unable to paint or escape | Dernberger Spengleton |
January 23, 2019 |
Chimp Joe Leaves Jail Under Care of Lover | Clarence Mon |
January 22, 2019 |
Bill "Nerb" Elsasser to Sue Town For Killing Flowers | Common Observer |
January 22, 2019 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Serum Is Successful, Town Plagued by Baldness | Page Tottman |
January 17, 2019 |
Serum to Counter Hair Anywhere Spray | Tom Johnson |
January 17, 2019 |
Mound of Mixed Greens Appears in Cemetery | Clarence Mon |
January 13, 2019 |
Psychoactive Noise Moths Do Not Affect Humans | Whaler S. Fishpole |
January 9, 2019 |
Alfred Humbleton Repairing the Spectacular Isomorphism from Within The Realm of Ideas | Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
January 9, 2019 |
Peripheral Intelligence Agency Opens A New Office In NYC | Clarence Mon |
January 9, 2019 |
Pleasant Surprises Rise From The Roads of New York City | Dernberger Spengleton |
January 9, 2019 |
Response to "Sinners in The Hands of The Fake Sun" | George S. Halfly |
January 9, 2019 |
We Have Been Given Quandaries | Tevobet Nope |
January 9, 2019 |
Tabletalk Cries | Tommy Origami |
January 8, 2019 |
Man Boasts Castle About Which World Rotates | “The oracle to which the world delivers its specimens” |
January 7, 2019 |
Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo Forced Out of The Tree Folk | The Editors |
January 4, 2019 |
Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko: "YOU ARE ON NOTICE, SURREAL TIMES" | Senior Hoff Ricko No-Wicko |
January 4, 2019 |
Letter to the Editor: Who is Dorf? | George S. Halfly |
January 4, 2019 |
Whole Grain Bread Numbers Rising | Clarence Mon |
January 4, 2019 |
The Process Complete: R. Bottleby Gains Vague Telepathic Foresight | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
January 2, 2019 |
"Carousel of Unending Happiness" Coming This Spring | Advertisement |
January 2, 2019 |
Liquid Spewing from Hotel is No Longer Intelligence Boosting | Carl Mon |
January 2, 2019 |
Mullen: "You'll Get What You Want" | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
December 30, 2018 |
Chimp Joe Found in Midst of Noise Moth Binge | Tom Johnson |
December 30, 2018 |
An Attempt on Dr. Linda Peterson's Life | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
December 27, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Banned Across the Pioneer Valley | Tom Johnson |
December 22, 2018 |
La Paz: City of Blue and Gold | Cro Raka |
December 22, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail Bans Reptiles | Common Observer |
December 19, 2018 |
"Beware The Tabun Needle" | Saul Smalls, with the help of an editor surviving the same illness |
December 19, 2018 |
Ongoing Offshoot of Liquid From Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Groundly Mouths | Carl Mon |
December 19, 2018 |
Kid Cuppino to Play Amherst | Roberto Piccolo |
December 18, 2018 |
Advice: Keep Two Notes for a Growth-Focussed Life | Youbus Leeftim |
December 18, 2018 |
Butterfield Hall Uninhabitable Due To Noise Moth Infestation | William (Bill) Gumby |
December 18, 2018 |
Felines Divorce | Salshim Hearsel |
December 18, 2018 |
Same As It Ever Was .?. | Graham Rapier |
December 16, 2018 |
"Force-field" Surrounds Isenberg Campus | The Purple Hermit |
December 16, 2018 |
Sinners in The Hands of A Fake Sun | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
December 14, 2018 |
Reminder: Inform Children of The Dangers of Cig Jousting | Imogene Larkley |
December 13, 2018 |
Use Disassociex© To Fight Hair Anywhere Spray Forests | Advertisement |
December 13, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Engulfs Your Free Time | Mistress Tumbly |
December 13, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Graffiti Grows Back When Cut | Joe Tellie |
December 12, 2018 |
Baron of Bullets Releases Cryptic Statement | The Editors |
December 12, 2018 |
Former Arms Dealer Assassinated | Roberto Piccolo |
December 11, 2018 |
My Visit With The Fugitive | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
December 11, 2018 |
Cryptid Caught: "Belmontian Gurp" Apprehended in Amherst Sewers | Sax Tuba |
December 10, 2018 |
From The Mouth of The Pig 16 | Armädeius Galouei |
December 4, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times Newschimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
December 3, 2018 |
May The Rodents Be Gone, Say the Elderly Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
November 30, 2018 |
Profile: The 'Overseer' Speaks Out On Isenberg Incident | The Purple Hermit |
November 27, 2018 |
Hair Graffiti Growing Wildly | Joe Tellie |
November 26, 2018 |
Random Act of Apathy | Dernberger Spengleton |
November 26, 2018 |
The Monks Speak: The Mysterious Man | Roberto Piccolo |
November 26, 2018 |
Recipe for Alphabet Soup | The Editors |
November 26, 2018 |
New Theory Appears in Nazca | Cro Raka |
November 26, 2018 |
Honors College Begins Mushroom Operation On Finely-Shredded Hopes and Dreams | The Purple Hermit |
November 22, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Graffiti Scoundrels Run Rampant | Tom Johnson |
November 21, 2018 |
Lobster Spawning Brigade Accidentally Descends On Amherst | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
November 19, 2018 |
Downtown Disappearances: Possible Cryptid at Large | Sax Tuba |
November 19, 2018 |
Teenager Looses Tooth Cigarette Jousting | Bernard Gigliotti |
November 18, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Rainbow Colors! | Tommy Potentuary |
November 18, 2018 |
Fortune Cookies Throw Insults | Tom Johnson |
November 16, 2018 |
Noise Moth Infestation in UMass Dormitory | William (Bill) Gumby |
November 16, 2018 |
Obituary: The Gulled One Has Pecked the Bucket | The Editors |
November 15, 2018 |
Rising Dissasociex Prices Linked to Midterms | The Purple Hermit |
November 15, 2018 |
The Pentagon Loses Edge, Becomes Square | Dr. Oxford |
November 13, 2018 |
"Cigarette Jousting" -- A Danger To Our Youth | Rebecca Winston |
November 5, 2018 |
Surreal Paraguay | Cro Raka |
November 5, 2018 |
Honor to The Search | The Editors |
November 5, 2018 |
Riddles By Eyebrows | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
October 31, 2018 |
Micro-economists Combine Energy to Form Single Macro-economist | The Purple Hermit |
October 29, 2018 |
A Letter to a Friend Tossed in The Wind.?. | Hubert E. "Eyebrows" Perrywinkler |
October 28, 2018 |
Truck Breeding Season Returns After 100 Year Absence | Clarence Mon |
October 28, 2018 |
Words Discover How To Make Love | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 28, 2018 |
I Hereby Endorse Whorf's Cactus Balm | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
October 28, 2018 |
Whorf's Cactus Balm: A Cure For Degeneracy | Emmanuel E. Whorf |
October 25, 2018 |
A New Stage of The Problem of The Upper Half Of The Man Cut into Two By A Window | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 24, 2018 |
Hoards of Stolen Personal Diaries Found in Tent in Forest | Clarence Mon |
October 23, 2018 |
Ode to Seagulls | Carët “Egg” Ozoné |
October 21, 2018 |
Hair Anywhere Spray Now in Stores | Tommy Potentuary |
October 20, 2018 |
Scale Replica of Amherst Discovered Miles Under Amherst | The Purple Hermit |
October 20, 2018 |
From the mouth of the pig 14 | Armädeius Galouei |
October 15, 2018 |
The Surreal Three Split | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
October 15, 2018 |
I Did Not Give The Surreal Five The Thirteen-Second Frequency | Juan Ramirez |
October 12, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Are Now The Surreal Three & Will Make Permanent Their Sickness | Roberto Piccolo |
October 10, 2018 |
Mikey Reviews: Woke Foods Inc. - New “Conspiracy” Themed Family Restaurant | Mikey McCall |
October 9, 2018 |
We Are Not Kings After All | The Purple Hermit |
October 9, 2018 |
The Martians Are Here, and it is Glorious | The Purple Hermit |
October 7, 2018 |
Dodge Responsibilites with New Disassociex©! | Advertisement |
October 5, 2018 |
Man Shows Vulnerability, Successfully Apprehended | Aleister Frost |
October 5, 2018 |
Florida Parents Acquire Vending Machine to Feed Children | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 4, 2018 |
New Research Out of The University of Dortmund | The Editors |
October 4, 2018 |
Community Bikes Sustainably Kick | Clarence Mon |
October 4, 2018 |
Beloved Surreal Times Reporter Zulu Z. Zulu Wanted Dead or Alive | Giles Squin |
October 3, 2018 |
His Name Is Mr. Terrible and He Just Likes to Sneak Around | Ron Gutterston |
October 1, 2018 |
Bonkers Bozos Think the Answer is in The Past | Alfred Humbleton |
September 30, 2018 |
"The Thirteen-second Frequency Will Free Us" | The Editors |
September 29, 2018 |
Who Exposed the Surreal Five to H-33? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
September 27, 2018 |
Professor Ramirez Reemerges | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinski |
September 25, 2018 |
An Overview of Surreality, Surreality Exposure, and Hyper-Mundanity | The Editors |
September 24, 2018 |
A Joint Statement From The Surreal Five | The Editors |
September 23, 2018 |
Is There A Seven-Second Frequency? | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
September 20, 2018 |
Questionable Hustle in Central Park: HUMAN ZOO | Tom Johnson |
September 19, 2018 |
The Surreal Five Speak Out: “Our Brains Are Surreal Now And We Like It That Way.” | The Editors |
September 18, 2018 |
H-33 Explained | Eddie Octo |
September 17, 2018 |
Five UMass Students Exposed to Mind-Altering Chemical H-33 | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
September 9, 2018 |
"I Have Discovered the Parallel Universes", says The Mad Cartographer | Richard R. Mohamed |
September 3, 2018 |
Two Men Were in the Middle of a Life Changing Moment | Cryptic Mark |
August 30, 2018 |
The Spot Director Kerm Fergus Goes Missing | Steve Hackwood |
August 27, 2018 |
The Spot Movie Lands Big Movie in Hot Water Following Alleged Copycat Crimes | Steve Hackwood |
August 23, 2018 |
"The Spot" Breaks Box Office Records, Becoming the Most Profitable Movie in History | Steve Hackwood |
August 19, 2018 |
The Bigfeet Are Clearly KGB Spooks | John Short |
August 18, 2018 |
Bigfeet Are Legal And A "Bigfoot Crusade" Is Out Of The Question | Maria Gonzales |
August 17, 2018 |
There Are No Bigfeet In Amherst, Stop This Delusion | George S. Halfly |
August 16, 2018 |
The Feathered Travesty: One Naturalist's Thoughts On An Unnatural Matter | Peter “Mini-P” Petrinksi |
August 11, 2018 |
”I No Longer Recognize The Tree Folk”: Dazzle-Razzle Speaks Out | Senior Hoff Dazzle-Razzle Magoogoo |
August 11, 2018 |
The Tree Folk Under Pressure: A New Member Raises Tension | Roberto Piccolo |
August 9, 2018 |
The Surreal Enforcement Agency Is Formed | The Editors |
August 9, 2018 |
The Mechanical Chum: Thoughts On Our New Metal Friend | Eddie Octo |
August 8, 2018 |
The Mechanical Fellow Is A Mormon Communist Spook | John Short |
August 8, 2018 |
Special Report: The Mechanical Fellow | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
August 5, 2018 |
AN ACCOUNT OF: A MAN CUT IN TWO BY A WINDOW | Dernberger Spengleton |
August 2, 2018 |
Hope of Interplanetary Cordiality Extinguished | Ron Gutterston |
July 31, 2018 |
Realm of Ideas Collapses Momentarily, Conveys Particular Idea | Alfred Humbleton |
July 30, 2018 |
April 29th Special Broadcast | Times Staff |
July 29, 2018 |
Chimpanzee Joe: "This is Your Second Warning" | Chimpanzee Joe |
July 29, 2018 |
Shiftier Than Ever: The Baron Receives 3.2 Billion Dollars | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
July 29, 2018 |
In Wake of Cockfighting Bust, Roosters Euthanized | Tom Johnson |
July 27, 2018 |
Demon Unveils Foundation Line | Roberto Piccolo |
July 25, 2018 |
The Fate of The Cockfighting Roosters | Tom Johnson |
July 24, 2018 |
Spanish Monks Time Travel To Amherst | Roberto Piccolo |
July 21, 2018 |
Escaped Roosters Wreak Havoc Downtown | Tom Johnson |
July 21, 2018 |
Cockfighter's Genetic Medium A Mystery | Oswald Avery |
July 18, 2018 |
Who is Chimpanzee Joe, The Surreal Times news chimp? | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
July 11, 2018 |
Baron of Bullets: I Have The Ultimate Weapon | Marcus Van Door |
July 1, 2018 |
Terrible Assault on General Consciousness | Tiggy Sintrupuli |
July 1, 2018 |
Cockfighting Bust in Northampton | Tom Johnson |
June 19, 2018 |
Union of the Clouds Zilches Borders | Clarence Mon |
June 18, 2018 |
The Mad Cartographer, We Should Hear Him Out | Pablo Little |
June 18, 2018 |
The Mad Cartographer Threatens our City | George S. Halfly |
May 30, 2018 |
The Octo Report: "Collision Festival" Takes Off | Eddie Octo |
May 30, 2018 |
Sandwich Store Snips Ribbon | Tommy Potentuary |
May 30, 2018 |
Internship Position Opens | Management |
May 30, 2018 |
Realm Of Ideas Narrows | Alfred Humbleton |
May 30, 2018 |
A Recording Of The Ranting Of The Hermenaut | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
May 30, 2018 |
Spiral Run Closing In On The Amherst Common | Dernberger Spengleton |
May 30, 2018 |
Outlaw Killed Or Not | Megunticook Stevens |
May 30, 2018 |
Dr. Linda Peterson Sentenced To Seven Years | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
May 30, 2018 |
Notorious Chief Of Agnatroptes Witnessed Serving Sun | Dernberger Spengleton |
May 30, 2018 |
Silence That Pretentious Octopus | Chimpanzee Joe |
May 30, 2018 |
We Can All Take A Hint From This Sandwich Anarchy | Pablo Little |
May 30, 2018 |
Cloud Anchor Proposed, P.I.A. Investigating | Clarence Mon |
May 30, 2018 |
Members Of The Atonal Music Listening Club Nowhere To Be Found | Common Observer |
May 30, 2018 |
Newspaper Spawns Subsidiary Adventure Capital Firm | The Editors |
May 30, 2018 |
Murderer To Be Executed | Old Souls Anonymous |
April 20, 2018 |
Craigslist Post Appears Offering Bicycle Day Deal | Common Observer |
April 19, 2018 |
Arkansas Howler Arrested After Altercation With Neighbors | Roberto Piccolo |
April 19, 2018 |
Government To Begin Investigation of The 'Shower Act' | Cryptic Mark |
April 19, 2018 |
Fountain Of Youth Located | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
April 19, 2018 |
Intelligent Computer Worm On The Loose | Tom Johnson |
April 19, 2018 |
Harsh Sanctions, No Charges To Follow Recent Miniature Automobile Collision | Mad Christopher van Eyck, Sr |
April 19, 2018 |
On The Bihexical Search | Armädeius Galouei's Surrogate |
April 19, 2018 |
Musical Fun All Around | Dernberger Spengleton |
April 19, 2018 |
Sightings Of Doppelgangers In The South | Cro Raka |
April 19, 2018 |
Hotline Hotline Goes Offline Indefinitely | Tommy Potentuary |
April 19, 2018 |
Dj Hawk Radio Passes Along | Dernberger Spengleton |
April 19, 2018 |
2nd Annual Acupuncture Social | Loomis Taunch |
April 19, 2018 |
Elderly Man Carves Crop Circles For Charity | Common Observer |
April 19, 2018 |
A Note From The Police: Individuals Saturating Rotaries... | Tom Johnson |
April 19, 2018 |
The Hermenaut Blasts Himself Into Orbit | Roberto Piccolo |
April 19, 2018 |
The New Hermit: Selena Sneebly | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
April 19, 2018 |
Writer Criticism | Phantom Framer |
April 19, 2018 |
New Column: Ask G.G. For Advice | G.G. |
April 13, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
March 28, 2018 |
Writing Competition Finished! Winners announced! | Dr. Dan Nibbler |
March 15, 2018 |
Television Show Pilot Flops | Tommy Potentuary |
March 15, 2018 |
Possibilities Involving Outlets | Wes Sizemore |
March 15, 2018 |
Spear of Destiny Stolen From Auction | Roberto Piccolo |
March 15, 2018 |
Malicious Koi Robs World of Nwidvee | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 15, 2018 |
Unusual Birth Occurs in Wake of Snowstorm | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 15, 2018 |
Problematic Advertisements Plague Amherst | Common Observer |
March 15, 2018 |
Strange Turn of Events Leads Writer to Symbioticism | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 15, 2018 |
Giant Injured in Stupor | Tom Johnson |
March 15, 2018 |
Letter to The Editor | Joseph Altmann |
March 15, 2018 |
Upcoming Event: Art Takes on Art | Loomis Taunch |
March 15, 2018 |
The Balloon: Part 2 | Old Souls Anonymous |
March 15, 2018 |
Tokens Retracted From Worldly Citizens, New Source Recommended | Alfred Humbleton |
March 11, 2018 |
The Arkansas Howler Returns | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
March 11, 2018 |
Young Adult Discovers Charm of Mother's Historic Technology | Marina Parella |
March 11, 2018 |
Piece of Surreal Engine Found Near Fault Line, Becomes Prize | Dr. Dan Nibbler |
March 11, 2018 |
Carnival Observed in The South | Cro Raka |
March 11, 2018 |
Head of Atonal Music Appreciation Club Silently Outed | Common Observer |
March 11, 2018 |
Hotline Hotline Prototype Released | Tommy Potentuary |
March 11, 2018 |
Bounty Placed on Fountain of Youth | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
March 3, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART TWO OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
February 27, 2018 |
ANNOUNCEMENTS REGARDING THE WRITING COMPETITION AND THE PRIZE | The Editors |
February 25, 2018 |
Mail Truck Crash, Strong Impression on Witnesses | Patty Geortenhul |
February 25, 2018 |
The Story of Timothy The Round Uncovered | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 25, 2018 |
Burgowittz Resigns | The Editors |
February 25, 2018 |
An Inspiring and Virtuous Tale Unfolds Before Our Eyes | Earnest |
February 25, 2018 |
The Balloon: Humpty-Dumpty Retold, P1 | Old Souls Anonymous |
February 25, 2018 |
Hampshire County Jail & House of Corrections Re-Opens | Common Observer |
February 24, 2018 |
P.S.A. Regarding Meteor Impacts | Jonothan Woodruff |
February 24, 2018 |
A Depraved Scene Among Our Youth | Chef Xenu Zorelli |
February 20, 2018 |
Obituary: Ryan Patrick Johnson | The Editors |
February 20, 2018 |
New Gameshow, Pilot Episode Airs Tonight | Tommy Potentuary |
February 20, 2018 |
Juggling Machine Brings Infinite Storage to the Common Man | Professor Burgowittz |
February 20, 2018 |
Interesting Trend Spreads Across South America | Cro Raka |
February 20, 2018 |
Norwottuck Rail Trail to be Extended | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 20, 2018 |
The Rise Together Corporation Falls | Roberto Piccolo |
February 14, 2018 |
THE DEATH OF SURREALITY: PART ONE OF THREE | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
February 8, 2018 |
Eyrie Eyrie House Hotel Is Recieving Guests Again | Cro Raka |
February 8, 2018 |
Events Unfold At The Vatican | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 8, 2018 |
Anonymous Tape Left At Journalist's Home | The Editors |
January 22, 2018 |
Goose Gingertop Deployed | Jang Ben |
January 22, 2018 |
Faith Can Move Mountains | Dernberger Spengleton |
January 17, 2018 |
The State | ~? |
January 17, 2018 |
Introducing the Portable Surreal Engine | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
January 17, 2018 |
A Love Supreme | J.D. |
January 17, 2018 |
Accountant Wanted | Jonathan Smith Johnson |
January 17, 2018 |
PSA: Keep Animals Inside | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
January 17, 2018 |
The Princess Presents: Rope Arms ^Goliath | Common Observer |
January 16, 2018 |
MONSTROSITY APPROACHING | Clarence Mon |
January 11, 2018 |
Dennis Horizontal Hands' Inaugural Column | Dennis Horizontal Hands |
December 31, 2017 |
Breaking News: Hordes Gather At San Andreas Fault Line | The Editors |
December 31, 2017 |
Bad Collision, Many Steeds Totalled | Common Observer |
December 31, 2017 |
Milkwalker Sightings | Cro Raka |
December 31, 2017 |
Reverberating Armadillo Comedy & Free Marmalade | Alfred Humbleton |
December 25, 2017 |
Ant Pursues Fountain of Youth | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
December 25, 2017 |
The Wait Is Over! Our Sources Confirm That Godot Will In Fact Arrive Tomorrow! | Vladimir |
December 25, 2017 |
The New Assault on Rationality | Roberto Piccolo |
December 23, 2017 |
Wisdom From Archeology Worm | Professor Burgowittz |
December 23, 2017 |
A PICKLE TO THE PREFRONTAL | Wes Sizemore |
December 23, 2017 |
Response to that Lousy Chimp | Doctor Goldstein |
December 23, 2017 |
Leaning Tower Falling | Earnest |
December 16, 2017 |
Researchers Discover Cure For Excessive Sanity | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
December 16, 2017 |
A Trail of Ashes | J.D. |
December 16, 2017 |
The New Mexico Surreal Engine | Moe “Tiny” Schlemiel |
December 15, 2017 |
The Surreal Web Died Today | Priestess Charlene |
December 12, 2017 |
Howler Howls His Last | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
December 4, 2017 |
A Peculiar Chase of Mutts and Bolts | J.D. |
December 4, 2017 |
Untastefully Yours Probably & The ARG | Dernberger Spengleton |
November 30, 2017 |
Off-campus Apartment Evicts Tenants | Wes Sizemore |
November 28, 2017 |
Has The Truth Behind The Surreal Engine Been Revealed? | Anonymous |
November 28, 2017 |
What's So Great About Language Anyway? | Chimpanzee Joe |
November 28, 2017 |
Letter to The Editor | A Concerned Mother |
November 28, 2017 |
Amherst Annual Orchestra To Perform This Year's Stunt | Dernberger Spengleton |
November 23, 2017 |
William Blanket Found Guilty of Existential Malpractice | J.D. |
November 20, 2017 |
Local Boys Learns Not To Lie | Cro Raka |
November 16, 2017 |
At The Foot of The Altar | Doctor Goldstein |
November 15, 2017 |
Symptoms of the New Avian Flu | Colette |
November 14, 2017 |
Catching Up With The Arkansas Howler | Joe Kierlskegrienger |
November 11, 2017 |
University Holds Degree Buyback Program | Wes Sizemore |
November 11, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #5 | Armädeius Galouei |
November 11, 2017 |
Music Review: PC Music, vol 1 By Various Artists | Paul Kleiner |
November 11, 2017 |
The Lost Story of Mr. Johnson | Praa Para |
November 9, 2017 |
Strange Contraption Brings Mindfulness | Dernberger Spengleton |
November 9, 2017 |
Prose Poem From Recent Festival | The Editors |
November 2, 2017 |
Local Boy Falls Into iPhone, Loses Thumb | J.D. |
October 31, 2017 |
Woman Receives Information From Afar | Dernberger Spengleton |
October 27, 2017 |
My Search For Enlightenment in these Forsaken Times | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
October 26, 2017 |
Stolen Gurgleer | Clarence Mon |
October 24, 2017 |
Letter to the Fake Sun | S. Smalls |
October 24, 2017 |
Love Letter to My Future Wife | Armädeius Galouei |
October 19, 2017 |
Mathematicians Speak Out | Suthagorous |
October 18, 2017 |
Interested in Buying a Soul? | Cro Raka |
October 17, 2017 |
Young People Try To Start Careers | Cryptic Mark |
October 15, 2017 |
UMass Football Goes Gorillas | Wes Sizemore |
October 15, 2017 |
Bihexical search #4 | Armädeius Galouei |
October 5, 2017 |
From the mouth of the pig #4 | Armädeius Galouei |
October 3, 2017 |
Let's Talk About This Whole Human Thing | Chimpanzee Joe |
September 26, 2017 |
The Times, Hiring an Assistant Weatherman | The Editors |
September 25, 2017 |
Squanderers of the Molecule of Life! | Professor Burgowittz |
September 25, 2017 |
The Schizo Report | The Voices |
September 23, 2017 |
More News on the Infamous Criminal Mad Harry | Cro Raka |
September 22, 2017 |
Couple Does a Marriage | Cryptic Mark |
September 13, 2017 |
Surreal Newsroom on 9/14/2017 | Dernberger Spengleton |
September 7, 2017 |
Earthwater Entities Mount Escape to Calm | Alfred Humbleton |
September 4, 2017 |
Sermon #4 - Our Great Final Neglect | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
August 10, 2017 |
Hungry Parakeet Scandal | Common Observer |
August 4, 2017 |
The Eclipse and A Call To Action | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
August 4, 2017 |
Call to action for the second coming | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
July 27, 2017 |
U.S. Scientists Edit Embryo DNA | Professor Burgowittz |
July 5, 2017 |
Dragonflies, Mind Control, Polar Bears & Oil | Clarence Mon |
June 19, 2017 |
Splinter | Zulu Z. Zulu |
June 14, 2017 |
Considerations Related to the Colonization of Irregular Solar Systems | Clarence Mon |
June 1, 2017 |
Disc Jam Descending on Stephenstown NY | Doctor Goldstein |
May 19, 2017 |
A Quick Rewind | Zulu Z. Zulu |
May 7, 2017 |
Bihexical Search #3 | Armädeius Galouei |
May 3, 2017 |
OBITUARY: TRUTH HAS DEPARTED THIS LIFE | Dernberger Spengleton |
April 26, 2017 |
A Visit From The Bird | Cro Raka |
April 26, 2017 |
Mysterious Ring Stumbled Upon | Cro Raka |
April 25, 2017 |
LOW-TEMP VOLCANO ERUPTS | Earnest |
April 10, 2017 |
Large Idea Rotisserie Halts, The Unlegged Rise, The Sun Continues to Shine | Alfred Humbleton |
April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social to be hosted at the Fine Arts Center! | Loomis Taunch |
April 3, 2017 |
Acupuncture Social at the FAC! | Loomis Taunch |
April 1, 2017 |
Anarchy Among Our Youth! | Clarence Mon |
March 31, 2017 |
Protest by the Tree Folk | Moriarty Collins |
March 31, 2017 |
Letter to Charles Darwin the 11th | Hank T. Joseph |
March 21, 2017 |
The Zebra Convention Unfolds | Armadeius Galouei |
March 17, 2017 |
Montreal Endures Viscous Inhabitant | Dernberger Spengleton |
March 8, 2017 |
Three Generalizations | Chuulepher "Future Mann" Erp-mangus IV |
March 6, 2017 |
A closer look at Headly, an employee at franklin dining commons | Ron Gutterston |
March 3, 2017 |
Local Investigation That May Be of Interest to The Concerned Citizen | Cro Raka |
March 2, 2017 |
ZZZ PUTS WORDS TO SPENGLETON'S CURVES | Zulu Z. Zulu |
March 2, 2017 |
Tsunami Hits Western Mass | Professor Burgowittz |
March 1, 2017 |
Ice jam aborted | Alfred Humbleton |
February 24, 2017 |
Dr. John and Charles Neville to bring New Orleans to Northampton | Doctor Goldstein |
February 2, 2017 |
The Man in the Nest | Doctor Goldstein |
February 2, 2017 |
A look at the creature of North Amherst | Ron Gutterston |
February 2, 2017 |
UMass seeks energy crown | Clarence Mon |
February 2, 2017 |
BURGOWITTZ FOOLISH, UNWISE | Jameson Eldar |
February 2, 2017 |
The Battle of the Beaks | Cadence P. Crockpot |
February 2, 2017 |
SPENGLETON RELEASES NEW BOOK | Mumphurd Tongs |
February 2, 2017 |
NEW ART GALLERY OPENING | The Editors |
February 2, 2017 |
Running in circles? | Alfred Humbleton |
February 2, 2017 |
ROGUE WOMAN ON CAMPUS | Tom Johnson |
February 2, 2017 |
Board of selectmen vote down dinosaur proposal | Professor Burgowittz |
February 2, 2017 |
A peculiar occurrence | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 2, 2017 |
New Bihexical Search! (#2) | Armädeius Galouei |
February 2, 2017 |
A Negative Event | Chett Vildermesh |
February 2, 2017 |
Hooligans steal truck | Anonymous |
February 1, 2017 |
Political Update: Jeb Bush cruises to victory. | Josh Matteo |
February 1, 2017 |
NERB SPEAKS | Common Observer |
February 1, 2017 |
A Most Bizarre Questionnaire | Zulu Z. Zulu |
February 1, 2017 |
RADICALS GO VIOLENT | Undercarriage Roth |
February 1, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
February 1, 2017 |
Ride The Wave of Humble Digs | Doctor Goldstein |
February 1, 2017 |
Kind soul does what he can | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
February 1, 2017 |
OPEN QUESTIONS REGARDING THE DYNAMICS OF BALLOONS | Professor Burgowittz |
February 1, 2017 |
The Man made of Black | Doctor Goldstein |
February 1, 2017 |
AN UPDATE ON SOUTH WORCESTER | Clarence Mon |
February 1, 2017 |
This We Cannot Allow | Dr. Evans |
February 1, 2017 |
Slam your head against the wall | William Howard |
February 1, 2017 |
Letter to the editor | Emanuel Gumft |
February 1, 2017 |
Botany can really Ruffle Feathers | Armädeius Galouei |
February 1, 2017 |
Baby Squeezers Spotted, Walking Calmly, Sometimes Grimacing | Zulu Z. Zulu |
February 1, 2017 |
Letter of the editor | Reverend Garland Hobbes |
January 31, 2017 |
An Explanation | Doctor Goldstein |
January 31, 2017 |
A peculiar occurence | Dernberger Spengleton |
January 31, 2017 |
IMPORTANT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY | Professor Burgowittz |
January 31, 2017 |
DOG SEEN CLIMBING TREE | Dernberger Spengleton and Purple Buffalo |
January 31, 2017 |
That Looks Like This | Common Observer |
January 31, 2017 |
This grass is too damn prickly. | Alfred Humbleton |
January 31, 2017 |
ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE RECRUITMENT OF NEW WRITERS | The Editors |
January 31, 2017 |
The Man in the Crows Nest | Ralphie Warbler |